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Thread: The Orgy of Homophobic Bigots

  1. #1
    The Wolf of Larsen WolfLarsen's Avatar
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    The Orgy of Homophobic Bigots

    The Orgy of Pigs & Elephants & Donkeys at Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
    Part 11 of the Musical by Wolf Larsen

    And then a giant penis walks on stage and announces to the audience: "hi! I'm penis!"

    And then a giant butt walks on stage and announces to the audience: "hi! I'm butt!"

    And then penis & butt sing together: "we're homosexuals!"

    And then all of a sudden the stage is deluged with all kinds of screaming crazy people who surround penis & butt, and all these screaming crazy people sing: "oh no! homosexuality! If we don't stop the gay agenda god's testicles will explode world war iii all over us as punishment, and then transvestite hippopotamuses & giraffes from the zoo will conquer our cities with lysol commercials! If we don't stop the gay agenda the ground will disappear under our feet and the entire human race will be falling & falling into hell! If we don't stop this gay agenda all our eyes will disappear from our faces and god will steal all our feet as punishment!"

    "God's punishment! God's punishment!" roars the entire orchestra.

    And then all is silent.

    That's when a giant vagina comes on stage and sings: "hello! i'm vagina!"

    And then a giant tongue comes out on stage and sings: "hello! I'm tongue!"

    And then the giant vagina & the giant tongue put their arms around each other and face the audience and sing: "we're lesbians!"

    And then all the crazy people surround giant vagina & giant tongue and they All scream/sing: "lesbians!!! oh watch out for god's exploding testicles! Lesbianism is millions of tongues of female devils slithering into all the vaginas of America! Giant tongues will squiggle out of our mouths and all our tongues will be licking & licking the devil's penis! And headless fried chickens will start jumping out of all our butts! We must stop the lesbian agenda or these and other great calamities will come to pass! God will punish us with endless mind numbingly boring speeches on c-span for the sins of these lesbians!"

    The entire orchestra roars: "sins! transgressions! punishment!"

    Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen
    "...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
    My poetry & other stuff on Amazon:
    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr...or=Wolf Larsen

  2. #2
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    There were a few capitalization issues, but I am guilty of this too. I have to consciously capitalize where I need to, because I have become too lazy in my everyday writing to bother with it lol. I can understand and appreciate the tongue-in-cheek (pun totally intended) way that you mock the outrage of the conservative majority over one's sexual orientation. Why not come out from behind the wall of sarcasm and say something in a story? I'm sure it would be a good read (come on, anybody who can imagine headless fried chickens coming out of people's butts has GOT to have some good stuff to say!).

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    The Wolf of Larsen WolfLarsen's Avatar
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    Smile 10,000 Penises in Your Ear and capitalization issues

    Quote Originally Posted by alcala0001 View Post
    There were a few capitalization issues, but I am guilty of this too. I have to consciously capitalize where I need to, because I have become too lazy in my everyday writing to bother with it lol.
    thank you very much for your warm & friendly comment alcala. Here is a piece with some capitalization issues.

    WARNING: THIS MAY BE THE MOST BIZARRE NOVEL EVER WRITTEN! IF YOU KNOW OF A NOVEL THAT'S MORE BIZARRE PLEASE LET ME KNOW – I WANT TO READ IT!

    An excerpt from the novel
    TEN THOUSAND PENISES IN YOUR EAR
    By Wolf Larsen



    The plot jumps a train going to Chengdu China or to Thessaloniki Greece or maybe to Vera Cruz Mexico but the train decides to become a cliff in Valparaiso Chile. Meanwhile the plot has been left in either Hong Kong or Athens or maybe Mexico City. So the reader and the writer fly together to Hong Kong Athens and Mexico City. We land in all three places together at the same time.

    We walk through all the sUrgiNg and rElenTleSs and sOaRing of hoNg kOng and all the fiRe and crOwdS of aThenS and all the sEethiNg and viOlEncE and vAStneSs of meXicO ciTY. We hear a rumor that the plot might be in Istanbul. So we fly into all the jUmBled and enTanGlEd and diZzY of iStaNbuL but the plot has flown to America. We start SCREAMING at the plot as the plot sits happily in the sun on a beach somewhere. The plot eventually feels guilty and flys back to Istanbul to meet us but we’ve already left. The reader and the writer are on a plane to Calcutta or maybe New York or perhaps to Lima Peru. You ask me –

    “So there were thousands of lunatics in bed with you?”

    I said: “What did I say? What is a word? perhapS her vagiNa is croWded with citiEs and bUs terminAls and thOusands of cemetaRies. Thousands and then hundreds of thousands of little men swimming up your vagina just as fast as they can? What if alL the CattLe in noRth ameriCa were growiNg in yOur wifE’s wOmb?”

    you said: “i’m inSide thOusands of a doG’s bRains at the moMent - Wolf, couLd I pleasE leT yoU coNsider tHe graY sideWaLk sir.”
    I said: “I like dancing with all the atoms circling and circling inside your brain.”

    you said: “we are circling and circling around each other’s brain cells buT wE’re iMpregNated bY a sEntence oN the pAge.”
    I said: “pLeAsE rEaDeR hElp mE tO diG tHe gRaVeS oF tHe hUmAn rAcE? ”

    a sunken ship said: “do we take pills to gravity and the skies now?”
    and I SCREAMED “why is each person so much like millions and millions of words running away from each other?”

    - so your wife’s ovaries were slithering down the walls of the plane. Genghis Kahn began walking back and forth on the plane’s wing as the plane flies through the air. Genghis Kahn doesn’t fall through the air because he didn’t understand airplanes.

    Meanwhile, the plot had turned itself into the rug in your living room. However, you realize you don’t know where you’re going. The plane is headed either to Belfast or Montreal or Lagos - you don’t know where the plane is headed to! you start SCREAMING dysentery at me but I pull out a knife. Suddenly, you’ve forgotten where you live. YOU CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE YOU LIVE - you don’t remember what city you live in - you can’t remember what country you’re from either! Now you’re starting to forget the only language you know how to speak! You start YELLING at me but I can’t understand because you’re speaking in extinct languages.

    Copyright 2004 by Wolf Larsen.
    "...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
    My poetry & other stuff on Amazon:
    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr...or=Wolf Larsen

  4. #4
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    Check your keyboard. Methinks your SHIft key is STICKY.

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