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Thread: Dragons Of The Green

  1. #1
    Miaaow! Twota's Avatar
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    Dragons Of The Green

    The grey extended before my eyes
    dull, dry, and almost dead.
    That's when the dragons came alive
    and splashed their wings
    above their heads.
    They were transparent, many and still.
    I tried to count them, but on the tenth,
    they slowly faded into Earth.
    The green extended before my eyes,
    and it was not - at all - dead.
    Last edited by Twota; 01-12-2013 at 04:47 PM.
    Cats love literature, they purr sonnets that humans can't comprehend. *Purrs*

  2. #2
    Miaaow! Twota's Avatar
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    criticize!
    Cats love literature, they purr sonnets that humans can't comprehend. *Purrs*

  3. #3
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    I see trees appearing through the fog on first thought, but I'm not sure. I was a little confused by the dragons splashing their wings and then being still in the third sentence, with no apparent transition. I'm not sure you need the dashes around "at all." If you want there to be a natural pause for assessment of the "green" just put "at all" after "dead and use a comma." Thus: and it was not dead, at all.

  4. #4
    Miaaow! Twota's Avatar
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    oh, well, I think, may be, I haven't included enough clues to what I am referring to. D=

    I was talking about the water spreader or whatever it's name, that small thing used in gardens and so to spread water over the grass, I was looking at a vast garden and then they all were activated at the same time, it made a beautiful view. That's why I used the word "splashed", also, they are still as they don't move. And then the strength of the water started to fade and they all stopped, as if they were fading into the ground.
    Cats love literature, they purr sonnets that humans can't comprehend. *Purrs*

  5. #5
    A lawn sprinkler?

    I would never have guessed that in a million years. I actually thought it was about someone recovering from a bad drug trip.

    H

  6. #6
    Miaaow! Twota's Avatar
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    YES! That's the word, and that's how it looked like. =0

    http://www.google.com.eg/imgres?um=1...9,r:4,s:0,i:91
    Cats love literature, they purr sonnets that humans can't comprehend. *Purrs*

  7. #7
    Caddy smells like trees caddy_caddy's Avatar
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    hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    U can't tell how far I went in my interpretation.
    But u know I don't think it's a good idea to explain the poem.
    you have a vivid imagination!
    Madness is a tremendous energy of truth--Ibrahim Alzenedy
    I don't know myself;you don't know yourself .
    I don't know you ; you don't know me .
    Don't be stupid and pretend the opposite
    --Ibrahim Alzenedy

  8. #8
    Miaaow! Twota's Avatar
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    loooool. Well, yes, I think the idea of the poem was so unclear to most -if not all- readers. I always fail in providing enough clues. :/

    Thanks caddy.
    Cats love literature, they purr sonnets that humans can't comprehend. *Purrs*

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