Lost Memories

[Haylee]

Prologue.

Hannah Brewer made her way through the hallway of Lankford High. Being a senior, everything was playing out perfectly. With graduation nearing, she had her life planned out. She was going to go to Ohio State to become a Ultrasound Technician. It'd be easy, considering that she'd been taking college classes since her freshman year. All she needed was to hurry up and graduate, and then she could finish what little she needed to take in college, and she'd be ready to work in no time.

Being one of the prettiest and most athletic girls in school, she had no trouble getting friends to be by her side and to help her out. Not to mention, her extremely attractive boyfriend that any girl would envy.
Noah Valandingham.

Standing at a whopping 6"5, he had a athletic build, due to many years of Football and Basketball. He had a caramel colored pair of eyes, lined with thick eyelashes that'd make girls jealous. He had a dark tan, obviously from the Indian part of him. He had black hair that he flipped every so often, making every straight female melt. The tight shirts he typically wore almost cut off the blood in his arms, due to his huge biceps. You could see the planes of his abs through his shirt, as well.

He was just a huge tease.

Being so attractive, he matched perfectly with Hannah. On the field, she was rough and tough, but at school, she wore sundresses and cute outfits that people often couldn't afford. She had long brown hair, that flipped out at the bottom, naturally, and bright blue eyes that resembled somewhat of an angry ocean. She was thin, but muscular. She sported a size 36 C chest, which brought her quite a bit of attention when she wore low cut shirts. She was short, but she didn't let anyone mess with her.

She was taken aback as someone slammed into her, making her drop her books.

With a smirk, he walked away.

Kayden Trinity.

To the school, he was quiet, yet in a bad boy type of way that attracted plenty of girls to him.
To the parents, he was a bad guy, who their daughters should stay away from and who their sons shouldn't hang around with.
To the police, he was someone to keep an eye on, but hadn't gotten caught with anything yet.
And to Hannah Brewer?
A rude, arrogant, stupid jerk.

After Hannah had moved here in the sixth grade, he'd spent countless days of the school year, each school year, messing with her and insulting her. Being rude, and making mean comments toward her. Nobody confronted him about it, though, because nobody had ever heard of him doing anything like that. He wasn't actually a bad boy, he just had the bad boy essence.

Yeah, that's what they thought.

Hannah knew differently. She knew him for the prick that he was.

But, would that change one day?

Would he change?

Or would she?

[hillwalker]

Not sure where you're going with this.

So far you have descriptions of three characters.

Are we supposed to care about them? Hardly, since we don't know them. Is there going to be some kind of story to follow? If so, I'd suggest you use these thumbnail sketches purely as background research for your own personal use. Readers don't want to be told how tall your characters are, or their hair colour, or how many friends they have, etc. etc. They want characters who actually do something right from the start of the story.

H

[Haylee]

I had to describe them, because for one, readers DO like to know what the characters look like, and for two, I described those things about them because it all has significance in the story, later on.

[Charles Darnay]

If you want your readers to reach a "later on" then you have to offer something to start with. Knowing what a character looks like - or some trivial traits - is a fine thing to develop throughout the story, but don't start with it. What Hill was driving at, and what is very true in this case, is that we have to care about the character before we can care what he/she looks like.

[hillwalker]

I had to describe them, because for one, readers DO like to know what the characters look like, and for two, I described those things about them because it all has significance in the story, later on.

I'll assume you have a wealth of personal experience as a writer to back up your first statement. I've yet to read any work of fiction where the first chapter is little more than a thumbnail sketch of various characters - perhaps I'm reading the wrong stuff.

As far as the way they look having significance later in the story, most readers won't get that far. If you bore them on page one they'll shut the book and pick up another instead.

H