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Thread: Dark Horizon (WORK IN PROGRESS COMMUNITY CAN CONTRIBUTE)

  1. #1

    Dark Horizon (WORK IN PROGRESS )

    Chapter 1
    June 19th 2556

    Epsilon Pisces System

    Planet Fallen

    The sun was in his eyes so he polarized the visor on his helmet to see. He was high above the complex that he was assigned to infiltrate. His mission was to find and destroy the fuel cells that were powering the Covenant repair dock orbiting the world they called Fallen. The spooks at ONI seemed to think that it was a tribute to their dead false Prophets. After the Human-Covenant War, a large group of radicals broke away from the new Covenant to continue to follow the false belief that the Halo rings would take them on the Great Journey. All he cared about was keeping the hinge heads and their buddies from killing more humans. He had already lost too many friends to those freaks and he intended to not lose any more if he could help it.

    J’Rall was watching the demon. This is was one of those humans called a Spartan. He had seen them in action and thought that they were the most formidable warriors the humans had to offer. He had been watching him for about three hours now. It was tall, almost as tall as his three and a half units. Its armor was a deep black and whenever the light hit it, the armor seemed to absorb the light. It carried one of those infernal rifles the humans called the sniper rifle. Lying next to him was what they called a shotgun. Many of his comrades had told stories of these legendary human warriors rampaging through Covenant warships using them. J’Rall thought that they were all fiction until he had been on the receiving end of one of those brutal weapons and had almost lost his head. J’Rall slowly crept up to within 100 yards of the human and silently drew his energy sword. He intended to gut this so called “Spartan” like he had gutted so many humans before.

    He heard the hinge head. He smiled to himself because the stupid alien thought he was being sneaky. Nobody could sneak up on a trained counter intelligence/demolitions expert. He waited until the freak was about ten feet away to swiftly turn around, grab his shotgun which was calibrated to penetrate the toughest armor the Covies could throw at them. As he turned, time seemed to slow to a crawl. He loved this part of armed combat. The thrill of adrenaline. The thrill of the hunt. He leveled the shotgun at the surprised Elite that was trying his best to sneak up on him and fired point blank into its chest. The flechette rounds that he used tore the Elite apart. He looked down at the mass of shattered bone and destroyed tissue and smiled. Today was going to be a very good day.
    Last edited by Robert Munitz; 11-13-2012 at 07:09 PM.

  2. #2
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    I'm not one for Science Fiction normally, but this definitely caught my attention. Is this going to progress on this thread? I would definitely be an avid reader if it did!

  3. #3
    Thank you! To answer your question yes. This will progress on this thread. Im surprised at your response because this is my very first post and I have to admit I didn't do any prewriting, proofreading or editing. Do you really think that my story is that good?

  4. #4
    In the fog Charles Darnay's Avatar
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    Seems a bit.....Halo-ish, doesn't it?
    I wrote a poem on a leaf and it blew away...

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charles Darnay View Post
    Seems a bit.....Halo-ish, doesn't it?
    I don't play halo, and only have seen it played a handful of times, so I wouldn't be able to make this connection.

    As for your story Robert, there's always things that can be improved on such as grammatical structure, spelling, plot progression etc--that can be said about anyone's work. But it's definitely got potential

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