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Thread: Catching Up

  1. #1
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    Catching Up

    You arrived first, as you always do
    and I arrived late, as usual.
    Your coffee has been poured already,
    so I must order.

    We say hello, as we always do
    and you turn your cheek
    for friendship's kiss
    and I sit and listen to your news.

    At last, my beverage arrives,
    with its matching foam and sprinkles,
    the biscuit in the saucer
    could be the twin of yours.

    I used not to drink cappuccino,
    not until you taught me to.
    Like Hancock, I had no need
    of froth in my life.

    It's been a year, so we catch up,
    with time's interlude ignored.
    Your son, now twenty-two,
    was eight when I met you.

    I sip and listen to vicarious adventures,
    occasionally contributing a memory
    of somewhere we've both been,
    and then our cups are empty.

    Lots more to be said
    and it's too soon yet to part.
    I ask if you'd like another,
    you say yes, but decline my offer of a bun.

    I treat you to a Madeleine anyway,
    and we talk and watch from the balcony
    as the coffee shop empties
    and chairs are put up on tables.

  2. #2
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Lines like these:

    the biscuit in the saucer
    could be the twin of yours.

    is what keeps me coming back. I feel overwhelmed by certain non-poetry almost on a daily basis for God knows how many agonizing months while the "real" poets dwindle, it's such a wonderful feeling to read something that goes beyond artificial to something organic and so original.

    I might be reading more into this, but and then our cups are empty and you say yes, but decline my offer of a bun seem to be rich in nuances if not caffeine and calories. One is left to wonder what happens after the place closes and the real catching up begins. Great job Hawk, loved it.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  3. #3
    Miaaow! Twota's Avatar
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    I love it!

  4. #4
    Beyond the world aliengirl's Avatar
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    Simply loved it. I like the way you give a detailed picture of seemingly unimportant things, conveying the emotions through them. Can't mention any favorite line as I like the whole poem.
    I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's. ~ William Blake

    Captivity is consciousness,
    So's liberty. ~ Emily Dickinson

  5. #5
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    Haunted: cheers, glad you liked it. Organic coffee? I didn't ask - lol! Thanks for thinking it original; feel free to keep visiting. Bit different for me I think. I'm glad you got so much out of it, though I must give some thought to the nuances of buns, especially when declined! Thanks so much for reading and letting me know you had

    Twota: Long time no see. Thanks for reading and loving it

    Ripley: Thanks to you to What can I say? I'm delighted that you enjoyed it so much.

    Live and be well - H

  6. #6
    Registered User Xillus_Xavier's Avatar
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    Wow. Hawkman, it's very rare for me to find a poem on a forum great enough for me to add it to my favorites. This is the type of poetry that triggers a real emotional spark in me. Simply put, this is fantastic and I believe you'll easily find someone willing to publish it.

  7. #7
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    I like it, too, Hawkman. I like what Haunted had to say. When two old friends get together, the very air is replete with nuance and looking back and wondering...
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

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    It's really easy to like. It's simple and well communicated. It also invokes in this reader similar memories with friends in coffee shops. It's warm and familiar like a coffee shop, anyways.






    J

  9. #9
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    XX: I'm most gratified that you rate it so highly. I guess it's because the poem is about one of those experiences that everyone can relate to. The reader is able to invoke their own memories of similar stuations to fit between the lines. Anyway, thanks for reading and for your complimentary comment.

    qim: I'm delighted that you enjoyed it as well. As I said above, the nuances are probably as many and varied as the readers. Many thanks for your thoughts, and for enjoying the poem.

    Jack: Thank you too Jack. Yes, the familiarity is probably the key to the poem's appeal.

    Thanks again to all whove read and commented.

    Live and be well - H

  10. #10
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    Appealing for its accesibility and as Jack said its familiarity. Capturing a moment is not as easy as you made it seem. Good job Mr Bird.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  11. #11
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    Cheers JB, Much appreciated.

    Live and be well - H

  12. #12
    Registered User Sampson's Avatar
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    this is the most vivid poem i have read in months... its concise and laced with a subtle passion... i'm glad it was the first poem i read after a long hiatus from these forums. cheers for posting boss!

  13. #13
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    Thanks Sampson, both for reading and enjoying. Nice to know that your first bite after long absence was mine, and that it was so satisfying

    Live and be well - H

  14. #14
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    Bump…

  15. #15
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Thank you for bringing your poem up to date... don't know how I missed it the first time around.
    Enjoyed very much

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

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