A small statured woman, brandishing what appeared to be a spatula, stepped from behind the large man and confirmed his story, “Your meteor smashed our mayor, Marjorie, and now it’s payback time, you maggot!”
A small statured woman, brandishing what appeared to be a spatula, stepped from behind the large man and confirmed his story, “Your meteor smashed our mayor, Marjorie, and now it’s payback time, you maggot!”
Uhhhh...
The mob approached menacingly, all of them brandishing some sort of kitchen utensil as a weapon.
"Don't call me Marjorie," he replied, "and besides, it wasn't a meteor but a US drone."
"L'art de la statistique est de tirer des conclusions erronèes a partir de chiffres exacts." Napoléon Bonaparte.
"Je crois que beaucoup de gens sont dans cet état d’esprit: au fond, ils ne sentent pas concernés par l’Histoire. Mais pourtant, de temps à autre, l’Histoire pose sa main sur eux." Michel Houellebecq.
The woman momentarily wore the sort of perplexed expression that C-minus students are good at, but then her look hardened and she said, "No, you idiot, I meant our mayor's name was...oh never mind..." she then slapped her thigh with the spatula and pointed it at the man for emphasis, "and another thing, Buster, Marjorie was a lot of things, but she weren't no Al Qaeda."
Uhhhh...
Antoni's nervous chuckle was interrupted by the sight of Ann walking through the crowd with slow thighed confidence and his mind turned back 4 years ago before the war had begun.
Antoni thought back to that time when unholy bands of wild men ran freely in the forest, robbing and raping, when women and children stayed hidden for fear of enslavement and good men died like dogs in the dirt, a time when people would dial 411 for information they could easily look up on their own; it was the time before Marjorie had come to power.
Last edited by Sancho; 09-20-2012 at 03:59 PM. Reason: Dorked up grammar, as usual
Uhhhh...
Now Marjorie Marjoribanks had complete control and ordered the foremost members of the tribe to join a website devoted to literature where they could discuss memes and tropes and even talk about books.
"L'art de la statistique est de tirer des conclusions erronèes a partir de chiffres exacts." Napoléon Bonaparte.
"Je crois que beaucoup de gens sont dans cet état d’esprit: au fond, ils ne sentent pas concernés par l’Histoire. Mais pourtant, de temps à autre, l’Histoire pose sa main sur eux." Michel Houellebecq.
Her theory was: if the tribal leaders spent their days discussing literature and literary devices (but not politics), the wild men of the forest would likely mimic their behavior, which would leave them little time for robbing and raping - this was all working stupendously until the village picnic when a Predator Drone flew over and unleashed a couple of Hellfire Missiles, reducing Marjorie to a smoking hole.
Uhhhh...
It would appear that the man had been riding on one of the Hellfire Missiles as it came down, and had miraculously arrived unscathed, save for some singed eyebrows. The Fat Mayor Marjorie had cushioned most of his fall. Sadly she had sacrificed her life to save this stranger.
The crowd began to notice a vague mumbling noise coming from the crater. A mole popped his head up and began to talk....
...his nose twitched a couple of times and then he addressed the mob, "Hey man, any of yous seen my Cheez Whiz?"
Uhhhh...
…and my cowboy hat? (in a voice that was the spitt’n image of Slim Pickens)
I was wav’n it around, hoot’n and hollerin as I straddled that Hellfire down to this frozen steppe.
My pologies for putt’n the veto on your Mayor, but we best git this bloody goo shoveled up ‘fore the wolves pick up the scent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcW_Ygs6hm0
"Whoa!" Said the mole, and he rolled his eyes as best he could for an animal with beady little eyes. "Talk about a trope! Or is that a meme? I can't remember which is which."
Uhhhh...
This fazed the tribe because if a mole couldn't distinguish between memes and tropes why bother with them at all ? The tribe, casting all pretension aside, began to run riot over the website; talking of Dan Brown, Harry Potter and Fifty Shades of Gray.
"L'art de la statistique est de tirer des conclusions erronèes a partir de chiffres exacts." Napoléon Bonaparte.
"Je crois que beaucoup de gens sont dans cet état d’esprit: au fond, ils ne sentent pas concernés par l’Histoire. Mais pourtant, de temps à autre, l’Histoire pose sa main sur eux." Michel Houellebecq.
And upon the realization of that eventuality, the ugly mood of the mob turned hideous, and the circle tightened around the mole and the cowboy.
Uhhhh...