This girl

[sympathygrl]

Hey, I've used very simple language here like I always do. Its about a girl in dilemma.

This girl, is the killer of her man
This girl, is the murderer of love
She cheated, She lied, She had her own life
She cries, She hides, She breaks all the hearts
This girl, is the killer of her man
This girl, is the murderer of love !!!

Her man was once mean to her,
but she didn't know what was it for
And now she has another man
She doesn't love him, nor she can
She knows what is right,
but unaware of what is wrong
Knowing her men are nice,
now she wants to be wise
She needs to choose between two
but she cant break any of you

This girl, is the killer of her man
This girl, is the murderer of love
She cheated, She lied, She had her own life
She cries, She hides, She breaks all the hearts
This girl, is the killer of her man
This girl, is the murderer of love !!!

[zoolane]

It good for first poem but it read like list of facts.

One idea would be try change tone or for you to become girl and then try writing again with raw emotion that you think she about feel.

[sympathygrl]

Its not my first poem. Check the last one i've posted.. I'm a girl