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Thread: Life of Murugan

  1. #1
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    Smile Life of Murugan

    Hi, This is Madhan from India. This is a short story effort based out of Chennai, a city in India.

    Please read and let know your comments. Hope you have a different and enjoyable reading experience.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    On April 14th 1988, a crow stood on the grill of the balcony of 11/60, Princeton Apartments, awaiting its daily due of rice and paruppu. Few metres away, Mani, the postman, stood at the door waiting for someone to answer the door after having rung the bell thrice. 4 storeys down, Pazhani, the watchman was eating his lunch very late after having had to attend to an emergency all through the morning. 100 metres away, David, the auto driver wondered when his mate Vetri would come back after having gone for a ride early in the day.

    At the end of the road, Padma, the doctor's wife, called up her husband to know if the operation had went fine. Neeraj, the doctor's compounder, told the doctor's wife that the operation was still in progress. Raja paced nervously outside the theatre hoping someone would update him soon. After having paid off the auto driver who brought them, Ramani went on to buy a cool drink at the shop near the hospital. Sridevi cried out in pain making all heads turn in the hospital as she was rushed into the labour ward in a stretcher.

    20 kms away, Jayam was at Vadapazhani temple, praying ardently for her daughter’s good health. Subramaniam, Jayam’s husband took a permission from work to get home early and visit the hospital. 300 kms away, Usha booked 4 tickets for that night in the Rockfort Express from Trichy to Chennai - 2 adults and 2 children. 2200 kms away another Usha found out how to book a flight ticket for the first time and booked the next available Indian Airlines flight from Delhi to Chennai. Nivedita, the Delhi Usha’s daughter was in a state of bewildered excitement after having been told that she was getting a new friend to play with.

    Back at the hospital, the pigeons on the window sill flew away in a flurry as the clock struck one with a huge gong. Neeraj, who cared for nothing but his afternoon full meals and sleep, packed up his bag and prepared to leave with his duty coming to an end. Lalitha, a midwife who was never late for work, was already helping the doctor well before her duty time started. Ramani opened up the parcels of sambhar rice and curd rice in a nearby chair and started to munch on it. Sivaraman, the gynaecologist was reminding himself to be ready for adversities as he suddenly found himself handling 2 patients at once.

    Irked by the inactivity around him, Raja paced more furiously without touching his lunch parcels. Gurinder Kaur, the telephone operator at the Delhi exchange, currently suffering from an existential crisis, dialed a trunk call to a hospital in Chennai. Ashok, the hospital receptionist, went into a nervous state as he was expected to attend calls in Hindi while he had faked knowing it to get the job. Sudheer, who was very annoyed with his mom Usha for not buying him the red remote car yesterday night, picked up the phone as it rang and shouted for his mother to come and attend it.

    Raja, now nervous beyond explanation, walked ahead to get the trunk call from Delhi as the phone rang incessantly. The pigeons, back on the sill feeding on grains in silence, were shocked to flight as an unusual wail along with the ringing phone hit them. Smiling and removing his gloves, Sivaraman came out of the theatre room.

    Lalitha picked the clumsy wet thing in her hand and said, “Madam, as you wished, you have a got a son like Lord Murugan”

    Nirmala smiled and said, “Murugan”.

    *

    After its futile wait at 11/60, the crow decided enough was enough, and came to rest on 12/59, and waited. Most of the days, it had one serving in each of the two houses, and rest of the days it had its fill from at least one of them. It was as if the 2 houses conspired to never leave him hungry. But today would be different.

    Mani, the postman, rang the calling bell. He would be giving happy news to the old man. The letter had a Delhi stamp and Mani knew it was from the grandson. He would ring thrice, without response. The good news will have to wait for another day.

    Four stories down, the watchman finished his late lunch. The old man from 12 had ringed for him today morning, asking him to call for an ambulance in between bursts of coughing. He had called for it, and immediately rushed up to 12. Seeing the old man in great pain, he had rushed to get an auto, fearing the ambulance would be too late. But the auto driver had refused to come. The ambulance would reach one hour later; the old man was spitting blood by then. He hoped the old man would be fine, for only he called him Pazhani. Everyone else called him ‘watchman’ and asked him to throw out their garbage.

    100 metres away, David was wondering about the behavior of Vetri that morning. A watchman came to get him for a hospital emergency. He had curtly declined saying “I can’t escort a dying fellow at the starting of the day”. David could not go, he had a school ride. In the next 5 minutes Vetri got his first ride.

    At the end of the road, Padma learnt from her husband’s compounder that he was still in the operation theatre. After that, he would need to attend an old man. Neeraj informed the second case would be quick, a hopeless cause. He assured the doctor would be home for lunch. Raja, tired of pacing, came and sat on the first chair he saw. The chair faced a stretcher, on it laid an old man unattended, breathing heavily. No one attended to him. Raja, pained at such a sight, left the scene. He had more important things to worry about.

    Ramani, refreshed after his drink, took the lunch parcels to his brother. He expected a long wait at the hospital, and the nervous father-to-be would need the energy. On his way he saw the old man on the stretcher, rushed to the nearest nurse. The nurse informed that the old man would need to be examined and the only doctor was getting ready for a child birth.

    Nirmala screamed on her way to the theatre, hoping the noise would drain out the pain. Another stretcher blocked her way. The attending nurses removed it to the side to let her pass. On it, she saw an old man, and instantly knew that he was in greater pain. She prayed for him.

    At the vadapazhani temple, Jayam implored the priest to pray for her daughter’s health. Opposite to her, a young man thought of his father’s health, hoping he would be fine. He had fought with his father last week and moved out of their house leaving him alone. He promised to God, that he would make up with his father tomorrow. Today he had other plans. His boss, ‘Hitler’ Subramaniam had left office early, and he wanted to use this time to be with his girl friend.

    300 kms away, at the Thiruverumbur railway reservation centre, a middle aged woman was furiously typing names into the computer to book tickets. Every morning, there was an almighty rush to book tatkal tickets on the Rockfort express from Trichy to Chennai. Today was no different. She did not have a moment’s break to receive a phone call that morning. If she had picked up, she would have left her desk immediately. She did not, and she booked the last four tickets to Usha and her family. The clerk laughed at the irony of it all. Here she filled up the Rockfort express for others, but she never found the time to book one ticket for herself to visit her father.

    2200 kms away, a 10 year old was crying alone at his house. In the morning he had picked up their landline. “Hello yaar pesarthu?” A burst of coughing came from the other end in reply before the line went dead. For a boy of his age, he understood the situation remarkably well and called his father’s office. The father was irritated with this unforeseen hindrance to his work, convinced himself successfully that everything was fine and asked the kid to go back to his studies and slammed the phone. The kid was determined, possibly a trait from his grandpa, and called his father’s travel agent to ask for flight tickets to Chennai. The agent politely informed that he had just sold last remaining tickets, and enquired who is going to pay even if the tickets were available. The kid rang his mother’s office. No response. Tears rolled down his cheeks. His Grandpa had promised him gifts if he scored first. He had posted the copy of his report card. Did his grandpa receive it?

    Neeraj, having heard the one o’clock gong, started leaving work. On the way he passed the old man on the stretcher. His trained mind provided multiple options to take care of the situation. But it was time, and he was a stickler for punctuality.

    Lalitha the mid-wife rushed to the operation theatre. On the way she castigated the on-duty nurse for leaving the sick old man on the corridor and asked her to get him to a doctor. “The only available doctor is in the operation theatre for a child birth, and further, only a watchman had come with the old man. He had no money. Who will pay for the treatment?” The midwife cursed the nurse, but had no rebuttal. The gynecologist was happy to see Lalitha come in. For she had a calming effect on pregnant ladies and this lady sure needed some calming.

    Raja decided to take a leak and searched for the restroom. He again passed the old man on the way. At the Delhi telephone exchange, Gurinder kaur dialled in her second trunk call to Chennai in as many minutes. The bell rang at 12/59 Princeton apartments, but there was no response. Little did Gurinder know that the resident of the house was lying in the same hospital she had dialed seconds earlier. She informed the requestor, a 10 year old kid that the call did not connect. The kid cried in his helplessness.

    The last wisps of life flew away from the stretcher on the corridor. A wail came out of the operation theatre. The gynecologist removed his gloves. The doctor came out of the operation theatre onto the corridor. On the way he saw the old man on the stretcher. He checked the pulse but knew that there would be none. He called the nurse.

    “How long has the patient been here?”
    “Since morning Sir, the other doctor is on leave and I did not want to disturb you.”

    The doctor calmly asked the nurse to inform the relatives.
    The nurse informed, “Sir, the man was admitted by his watchman, and he filled his own details, till now no one has come to visit him.”
    The doctor asked the nurse to arrange for the death certificate.

    “What did you say the patient’s name was?”
    The nurse checked the admission form before saying, “Murugan”.
    Last edited by madhanra; 08-27-2012 at 03:38 PM.

  2. #2
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    The opening to this piece reminded me of two brilliant movies - 'Babel' and 'Crash' - where several individual lives collide to form a compelling story. The camera flips from one set of characters to another - seemingly at random. But there is a hidden pattern and by the end of both films everything is woven into a complete and satisfying whole.

    I had my doubts that you could pull off something as skilfully. I assumed your monotonous style of writing was a result of inexperience - not surprising from someone posting their first efforts on here. And normally I would advise any writer against beginning almost every paragraph the same way - as if reporting something observed from a distance. But I can see in this instance it was intentional, and by the end I could see what a marvellous job you have done.

    It took me two readings to fully appreciate the work you have put into your story. And it's a shame that many readers might not have the patience to work their way through something as densely woven as this.
    Instead of persevering, they will raise their eyebrows and question - What have these characters in common? The crow, Mani, Pazhani, and David? Perhaps if we keep reading we'll find the common thread linking all four.
    But instead of answering, you introduce 5 more strangers in the following paragraph - and another 5 in the next. Such a large cast of characters to keep track of. A little overwhelming, especially in a short story.

    But I commend you for taking such a risk. It's an original idea and your story deserves to be read more widely. The focus of attention jumps from one person to the next - like a flea. We feel cheated for an instant, as if the writer is teasing us, but we also sense there are many other stories buried deep within this one.

    If anything, this reminded me of Jhumpa Lahiri's short story collection - 'The Interpreter of Maladies'.
    It's a really admirable effort. Thanks for sharing.

    H

  3. #3
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    response to story

    I agree with Hillwalker in that there maybe too many characters introduced in too short a time, and therefore too many threads. In making rope one can have many threads in a long strand, and still handle it (like in a novel) but too many strings in a short=story rope are hard to handle. After a while you have to look back and check who's who.

    What a feat though! What a great introduction to Lit Net.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hillwalker View Post
    The opening to this piece reminded me of two brilliant movies - 'Babel' and 'Crash' - where several individual lives collide to form a compelling story. The camera flips from one set of characters to another - seemingly at random. But there is a hidden pattern and by the end of both films everything is woven into a complete and satisfying whole.

    I had my doubts that you could pull off something as skilfully. I assumed your monotonous style of writing was a result of inexperience - not surprising from someone posting their first efforts on here. And normally I would advise any writer against beginning almost every paragraph the same way - as if reporting something observed from a distance. But I can see in this instance it was intentional, and by the end I could see what a marvellous job you have done.

    It took me two readings to fully appreciate the work you have put into your story. And it's a shame that many readers might not have the patience to work their way through something as densely woven as this.
    Instead of persevering, they will raise their eyebrows and question - What have these characters in common? The crow, Mani, Pazhani, and David? Perhaps if we keep reading we'll find the common thread linking all four.
    But instead of answering, you introduce 5 more strangers in the following paragraph - and another 5 in the next. Such a large cast of characters to keep track of. A little overwhelming, especially in a short story.

    But I commend you for taking such a risk. It's an original idea and your story deserves to be read more widely. The focus of attention jumps from one person to the next - like a flea. We feel cheated for an instant, as if the writer is teasing us, but we also sense there are many other stories buried deep within this one.

    If anything, this reminded me of Jhumpa Lahiri's short story collection - 'The Interpreter of Maladies'.
    It's a really admirable effort. Thanks for sharing.

    H
    Thanks Hillwalker for your kind words. Many characters in a short span of time was to portray several emotions and situations that may play out in times of birth and death. But I guess they have become a bit too overwhelming. Feedback appreciated. Hope to contribute a lot more here. Thanks!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steven Hunley View Post
    I agree with Hillwalker in that there maybe too many characters introduced in too short a time, and therefore too many threads. In making rope one can have many threads in a long strand, and still handle it (like in a novel) but too many strings in a short=story rope are hard to handle. After a while you have to look back and check who's who.

    What a feat though! What a great introduction to Lit Net.
    Thanks Steven for the feedback. Yes, the idea was to connect as many dots as possible. Hope to read and write more here.

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