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Thread: "Inside"

  1. #1
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    Post "Inside"

    By Game
    [Please comment and criticize, read part 2 aswell, I find it gets better]

    Part 1
    "As the inspector, bent over to check the pieces of my window, that were scattered across the floor, I seemed to see his butt crack. (thinking to my self he must’ve been a plumber in a past life) “I know now for sure this was not on purpose, the person did not fall on purpose. (this was pretty obvious, who would fall from a 12-story-building, on purpose?) “Yes inspector, I didn’t think it was on purpose, did you find anything else out?”. “No..” said the inspector. He’s clearly not doing well in finding clues as to why my window is broken and there’s a ruined, bashed, dead body in the bottom of my building, directly under my newly broken window.

    As I let the inspector out, I thought to my self, what a useless man, and than it hit me, those awful, dreaded, voices, those weird, uncomfortable hunger feelings. “He’s useless” they said. “He’s no good to anyone” they said. “Do it.. Go now!” they yelled. A painful feeling was taking over me, I was shaking, with fear, not about my life, but about his..

    It’s been like this for a while.. I can’t control it, it’s just there, and it wants to feed. As the man walked down the stairs, I followed him, I don’t know why, I didn’t want to, but the voices, it took over me, I was enchanted by his smell, I was delighted by his softness, he seemed oh, so juicy.. (The inspector was a middle-aged guy, pretty bulky and soft, wearing a Policeman’s uniform and a Baton on his right leg)

    I kept following him, he stopped to take a breather at the 6th floor, I gently took the fire extinguisher on the ground nearby and hit him in the head a few times. “Gently” is the word of importance here.

    He collapsed, gasping for air, I was terrified.. “What have I done?” I thought to myself."

    Part 2

    I beat a man to death, I took a man’s life, I ruined his family, his children might starve, I killed, a human, being. Is it not tragic? Is it not sad? No. I didn’t feel what I was supposed to be feeling, it started as simple hunger, but than, it became more, it wants to feed, I cannot begin to describe the grueling pain, the agonising voices, they were telling me to do something horrible.

    Am I a cannibal? No, worse.

    I couldn’t do it, I felt the pain took over me, I failed, I failed society, I failed this person, I failed, myself.

    I hid the bones in a large plastic garbage bag, I threw it away. I should feel horrible, I should feel guilty, I know I’m an abomination that deserves to be destroyed. But, I felt at ease, I felt satisfied. That made this situation even worse, what ever’s making me do this, is enjoying itself.

    I spent the next couple of days, thinking, what am I? Am I supposed to kill myself for the good of humanity? The inspector was carrying a gun, which apparently, he forgot at my place when he was investigating it. It was a beautiful .50 cal Desert Eagle, a rather large and very powerful pistol, I was wondering why an inspector was carrying such large firepower, and as I was thinking I heard a knock at the door.

    “Who’s there?” “Kate!” the person replied. I was so caught up with this horrible situation, I forgot she was coming over today. “Kate! I’ve missed you”! I said, with an odd tone. “Is something wrong?” She immediately noticed my tone. “Nothing” I replied, come in, sit with me for a bit. She looked at me for a couple of seconds, but sat down on my sofa. “Did they settle out the window and body thing?” “Not yet”, I replied, with an awkward tone.” “It really is scary, he broke into your house, and then fell to his death, how is that possible?” I wasn’t sure how to answer such a question so I offered her some coffee, she agreed and away we went to the coffee shop.

    After some time and some other stuff we went to sleep, she was sleeping over at my place. (If this was a different kind of book, I would have described the “other stuff”).

    I wasn’t able to sleep, not after what happened.

    I looked at Kate and started feeling odd, at first, it was a weak feeling, but it became stronger and stranger by the minute. I felt tense, what if that was happening again?

    After about an hour, the feeling, the odd, painful feeling was piercing me, I was starting to twitch, I was breathing heavily, sweating a lot and my pulse was racing, I didn’t know what to do with myself, I was concerned I would wake her up. I started to shake after some time, it was gentle at first, (compared to everything else) but slowly, I started to violently shake, I felt, really, really warm, I was sweating even more, I started to itch, and then..

    ..Then it happened. Those dreaded feelings, those awful voices, those horrible thoughts…
    Last edited by Game; 08-19-2012 at 12:47 AM.

  2. #2
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    If anybody would like to comment, that would be neat..

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