Hey just finished the 1st draft of my second short story. Let me know what you think and any suggestions on how to improve it are more than welcome
By Matt Veksler
It was 1030 at night, and the first house party of the year had just begun. This was your typical small college house party, a pretty good mix of people, a decent ratio of guys to girls, and lots of booze. The guys not yet drunk enough, were on one side of the room trying to drink up their courage to go flirt with girls. The girls were on the other side of the room complementing eachother's outfits and gossiping about who they would and wouldn't 'do'. The girls at this party weren't ordinary girls, by any means. They were either spectacularly attractive with big tits, big asses, and long legs, while somehow maintaining midsections that would make some Olympians cringe with envy, or they were remarkably unattractive with stomachs that stretched below their ****s, tits that flopped around their ribs, and legs, which were somehow lacking in any visible muscle, despite all the weight they carried. The good looking girls: Katie, Tori, Michelle, and Courtney were in one circle, while the grotesque girls: Tammy, Sammy, Brooke, and Emily were in a circle next to them commenting on all the statements the attractive girls made. Courtney was discussing how she was going to **** Mark, the former high school quarterback, who was still able to pull girls for that reason alone. “I have so much game, I never get turned down. Guys think that they're the ones who are the playas, but they just don't realize I'm the one playing with them.” Sammy couldn't help comment on this claim, “Oh my god, did you hear what Courtney just said. She thinks she has game, what does she need to have game for? Doesn't she know that guys will **** her no matter what? She can just go up to any guy she wants and say '**** me' and they would.” Her friends laughed and nodded in agreement. Now it was Tori's turn to discuss her hotness and who she would and wouldn't ****, “Yea you can have Mark, I ****ed him last year, he has a tiny dick. I wanna try something a bit different tonight I wanna **** Max.” “He probably has an STD” Michelle whispered as if she would catch one by saying the word out loud. “And anyways aren't you on your period.” “So what if I am, it's not my fault, plus it's not like guys don't **** you if the have small dicks, or if they have problems getting hard, or if they cum too early. If they can still **** us with all those deficiencies, I don't see why I can't **** because of a little blood.” The girls all laughed and nodded in agreement, even the fat chicks couldn't argue with that. They were the ones who had to deal with the real problems, like ****ing fat guys.
On the other side of the room the guys were drinking and playing a 'Would you ****____' with a slight twist. The original game consists of one guy naming a girl and then all the guys debating whether or not they'd **** her, but at this party the answers were obvious, so stipulations were added to keep the game interesting. Tony asked, “Would you **** Katie if there was a ten percent chance of getting AIDS?” There were mixed reactions, some of the guys said yes, others didn't want AIDS and said no, but then Billy said, “Of course I would, I'd **** her if there was a hundred percent chance of getting AIDS. Have you seen that ***, and those tits? I'd wanna get AIDS so that people would believe me that I ****ed her.” Billy always said things like this, when asked if he'd **** Courtney while she was taking a **** he said, “I'd eat her *** out while she was taking a ****.” He was short and fat and desperate to **** someone attractive. He still had nightmares about the time he slept with Tammy.
It was last year and they were both drunk and horny. They went to his dorm room and undressed. The bed creaked as he mounted her, he could've sworn that it shrieked in pain, as the two blobs of obesity jiggled in unison trying to achieve some semblance of orgasm. There was a loud slapping noise with every thrust as their stomachs collided and Billy tits smacked her face. Then she started sucking on his flappy utters, which was so humiliating Billy started sweating profusely, even more profusely than he normally sweat. Tammy was soaked, but it was a sea of sweat dripping down from Billy, and not pleasure, which caused the wettness. The real problem with the whole thing was that it took so long. If it ended quickly, they could at least say well we came and that was fun. But it took an unbearable amount of time because their stomachs made it difficult for any real penetration to occur and every embarrassing jiggle made achieving orgasm nearly impossible.
Billy shuddered just remembering that night and took a huge swig from his fifth of Johnny Walker Black Label. He was already, half finished with the bottle, and quite drunk. He desperately wanted to hook up with either Courtney or Katie, but he knew that he didn't have a chance. Bobby, a tall fat guy, came up to Billy and asked who he was going to hook up with tonight. As if it were up to Billy who he'd hook up with. “Whoever's left, or my hand, whichever is the more attractive option at the time.” “Oh come on, it's easy to get girls you just have to be smooth and funny and they have to be drunk.” Bobby didn't understand because he was tall and fat, and tall fat people have it easier because girls assume they have big fat cocks. That alone is enough to get you laid, but Billy was short and fat, girls just assumed he had a chode. It's not easy getting laid, when the first thing a girl thinks when she sees you is that you have a small fat dick.
Bobby didn't have a big dick, it was only four and a half inches long, but he got a lot of pussy, at least a lot for a fat guy. He decided that tonight he was going to pop Michelle's cherry. He didn't care that his dick probably wasn't big enough to even reach her hymen, he was going to try. Michelle was dancing in the middle of the room and Bobby went up behind her and started grinding on her. She was already hammered, which was just the way Bobby liked his girls. They started making out and he led her into the 'hook up room', which fortunately for him was not already in use. He went to work taking off her clothes and kissing her neck, and then she whispered, “**** me, I want you to be my first, but put on a condom first.” Bobby wasn't one to waste time, he put on the only condom he had, which was the magnum he brought with him to impress girls. The condom was much too large was his less than average sized dick, and he was forced to wrap it around his balls to get it to fit. Bobby positioned his dick at her entrance and pushed in, she started crying in pain, and screamed, “Stop Stop hit hurts to much, I'm too tight.”
“I'm not even that big.”
“I know, but it hurts too much, can you find something you could use to loosen me up?”
“I could use my fingers”
“No, that won't work, I want something kinky. Do you think there's a screwdriver or a remote down here you could use.”
Bobby searched the room and found a chisel. He couldn't believe that he was about to chisel this girl open. “Which end do you want me to use?” “Surprise me.” He wouldn't have been able to prevent himself from laughing if he shoved the metal end in, and he still wanted to **** her, so he chose the conventional option, the handle,. After he was done with, the chisel, she was done with him. “Well I came, it's not my fault your dick didn't get me wet. I'm going back to the party, you can finish yourself off.” Which is exactly what he did.
Meanwhile, at the party Billy was drunkenly hitting on Katie. She was messing with him, trying to get him really drunk. She said, “If you finish the rest of that bottle, I'll have sex with you.” He chugged the other half of the bottle and instantly blacked out. He was carried outside, to puke and then as he walked back into the house, he fell face first onto the floor. He was completely unresponsive and the party goers had no choice, but to call an ambulance. The four paramedics tried to lift Billy, and they were completely unsuccessful, which would've pissed Billy off had he been awake. Then one of the paramedics said, “I think this kid **** himself, and he definitely pissed himself.” They carried him out and the Billy's friends saved the video they had been recording. Four hours later Billy woke up completely confused, lying in a hospital bed with IV's inserted into him. Billy's parents were sitting by the bed, incredibly annoyed at having been woken up at 330 in the morning, to see their son drunk, with **** and piss filled pants. The nurse gave Billy some hospital clothes to change into, so that he wouldn't sit drag his filth into his parents car, but he was still drunk and the clothes she gave him, weren't the highest quality. So when he tried to put the pants on he stepped through them, and ripped a giant hole in the crotchal area. He had absolutely no clue that he had done so, and walked through the hospital, through the children's ward with his rather unimpressive dick hanging out. He made it to his parents car without officially becoming a sex offender, which surely would've insured that he never again get laid in college.