wandering

[firefangled]

through the place of poems
in your head
like someone lost

you can live here
without words
long into memory

until one night
the silence opens
after a freight train passes

the fingers of earth
caress the button
of a morning mushroom

the violet slash
spreads a bed
of spring snow

then jasmine
slowly gathers its stars
and fills evening

with your absolution
for being blind

[PrinceMyshkin]

It's a somewhat mysterious poem, to me, but masterful in its delicacy and, for want of a better word, reticence.

[ampoule]

This feels like my own personal assurance of pardon. How beautiful is forgiveness.

[Delta40]

I'm pasting this one into my favourites FF. After reading it several times, the contrast sounds with a freight train and silence, the wonderful visual effects simply laid out, (I love S4 & S5) one finds peace and contentment in your lines and how refreshing to know there is hope for us all. A fine piece.

[firefangled]

Thanks Prince, AMP and Delta for responding.

I leave in about 15 minutes to have knee surgery, so I will be out for a little while.

[Bar22do]

Prompt and complete recovery for you knee, fire!!!!

I love all you poems, but this one has rare delicacy;

then jasmine
slowly gathers its stars
and fills evening

describes exactly what happens here in Jerusalem every evening as I'm walking in the freshness -- it's magical.

Please take a good care of yourself!

[ampoule]

Yes, best wishes for your surgery and a speedy recovery.

[Hawkman]

Lovely poem ff.

Live and be well - H

[bIGwIRE]

through the place of poems
in your head
like someone lost

you can live here
without words
long into memory

until one night
the silence opens
after a freight train passes

the fingers of earth
caress the button
of a morning mushroom

the violet slash
spreads a bed
of spring snow

then jasmine
slowly gathers its stars
and fills evening

with your absolution
for being blind

I also love this poem, Fire. To me it speaks of restless and youthful love, moving on with the changing seasons without recognizing the value and potential of what could be, choosing instead to wander.

I am new here, and being such hesitate to give any kind of helpful criticism, especially to such a wonderful poet as yourself , but they only thing I would tweak is the cadence and try to make the syllables in each stanza more symmetrical. I think it may add to the natural rhythm of your amazing work.

Off the top of my head;

Through the place of poems
wandering by
like someone lost

you can live here
without a word
long into memory

until one night
silence opens
as freight trains pass

fingers of earth
squeeze the button
of a morning mushroom

the violet slash
spreads a wet bed
of healing snowy spring

Jasmine slowly
gathers its stars
and fills the evening sky

with your absolution
for being blind
you wander by


I will continue thinking of your poem for a long time. I really love it.

I hope all is well with your knee. I know, from experience, what an ordeal knees can be. Hang in there.

[firefangled]

Thanks for reading and commenting Bar, Hawk and BW.