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Thread: The Cost of Living

  1. #1
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    The Cost of Living

    The Cost of Living

    We skipped stones
    across the pools of our mind,
    where they hesitated for a moment
    before deciding to plunge
    down into the seamless depths,
    leaving only abject stillness behind,
    for you see the waters
    were viscous,
    oil stained,
    gathering pollutants
    over time.

    No longer clear pools,
    of a former youthful fount,
    once pristine, untouched
    yet quivering in eager anticipation
    with every disturbance,
    alive, awake, serene,
    what remains instead
    are the remnants
    of our regrets.

    While at unsuspecting
    moments when caught
    in just the right light
    the colors are beautiful
    and take our breath away
    leaving us awestruck at the possibility,
    that so much filth and grime
    can give birth to the sublime,
    in our heart of hearts,
    we know all too well
    the price that is paid
    for that kind of beauty,
    it is unnatural,
    and if we are not careful,
    merciless will it smother us.

    So we choose to remain
    just upon the very outskirts
    watching from afar,
    the ghost of our lives,
    an all the debris we have left behind,
    and we know that the true cost
    of living is that you can never
    walk out of it with your
    soul still clean,
    no matter how much you pray
    it will only turn the slate
    a shade of gray.

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  2. #2
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    Brooding over the world we're wasting... a solid, committed poem, Dark. And it's dark, too...

  3. #3
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    Thank you!

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  4. #4
    Original Poster Buh4Bee's Avatar
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    Haven't read you in a long time DM, as good as always! Much enjoyed.

  5. #5
    Insolentmanx
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    excellent piece.

  6. #6
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    You took my breath away!

    I loved these lines:

    leaving us awestruck at the possibility,
    that so much filth and grime
    can give birth to the sublime,
    in our heart of hearts,
    we know all too well
    the price that is paid
    for that kind of beauty,
    it is unnatural,

    Definitely one of my favourites from you Dark and it's good to read your work again.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  7. #7
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    Thank you very much!

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  8. #8
    Registered User the facade's Avatar
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    Stunning poem.

  9. #9
    Registered User Jeos's Avatar
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    The cost of living

    "and we know that the true cost
    of living is that you can never
    walk out of it with your
    soul still clean,
    no matter how much you pray
    it will only turn the slate
    a shade of gray. "

    This S is the most beautiful one, even if too pessimistic...
    Your text is somewhere between poetic prose and fine prose.

    May I suggest you to take The Raven as an example for rhythm manipulation.
    He noblest lives and noblest dies
    who makes and keeps his self-made laws

    Richard Francis Burton

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