What Attracts You First? Poll #2 for Men Only

[Revolte]

good point haha.

Ok here is athought.
you meet someone over the internet you chat over the phone for days on ends and you exchange 'photos of your youth' pretending to be that same look and attractiveness.
you carry on chatting you get on really really well and you might even fall in love and one day you decide and have to meet.
the day arrives you show up and low and behold shock to the system one of you is not as attractive as the photo showed.
a) do you fall out of love?
b) you stick with it because looks are not important
c) you are heat broken and you do not know what to do.

please select which applies or add something else.

Most of the people that I have known I've met through the internet, or when I played a show and was super wasted. Most of the time photographs don't show people as attractive as they really are. And it's good to remember that a person looks fairly different over the course of a few days.

But, the last person I met was more attractive in photos, and she was one of the best girlfriends I've ever had. And besides, she was still pretty.

I'm not sure if you would fall out of love though, being in love is a bit extreme so I don't know if visual difference (and it likely wouldn't be a huge difference) would be enough to stop the way you feel.

If someone is heart broken over a photo then they probably didn't care too much about the person anyhow. They would have just been really horny. That seems like a waste of an adventure and experience, doesn't it? Don't get me wrong, I get it, I've had it happen. But I dunno, I can't rap my ahead around this one.


I just want to add, you can absolutely fall in love with someone over the internet. Nearly three years ago I started falling for a girl over the internet, never having met her. I've only hung out with her twice, one was a seemingly impossible random happening that lead us to being in the same place at the same time, which is strange considering we both lived in different towns and neither of us lived in that one.

A few months ago, I thought I finally got over her. As of the last few nights, I found out I'm wrong. Nothing can be done about it, but that's okay. The point is, it can and does happen.

[cacian]

Now that is a hard question.... I have been in three relationships, when they ended I have never been heartbroken. I was sad when my second boyfriend broke up with me but just for a few minuets. I was never in love with my ex but I lived with him for 5 years. I cared about him and I told myself that he is a good guy but he annoyed me most of the time.

I at least hope that love is more than what I have felt in my past relationships.

Hi Helga may I ask how you are?

[Babyguile]

[COLOR="DarkRed"]What is interesting is that women's unrealistic ideal body image is based largely upon images from women's magazines that promote a body type that is quite removed from the actual ideal body according to men:



According to a poll of men and women, the girl on the left matches women's ideal of the female body. The girl in the middle matches men's ideal of the female body, and the girl on the right matches the national average.

I understand your puzzlement over those images and how they don't stack up, but the motive behind showing women images of this body ideal on the left has nothing at all to do with pandering to men, or of women trying to fulfill men's expectations. That is a very naiive view that a lot of men take. They seem to assume that this is what all the fuss about body image is about. Quite wrong.

[COLOR="DarkRed"]Glancing at the more curvaceous women in men's magazines one cannot help wonder what is the thinking behind the toothpick-thin fashion models in women's magazines. It has been repeatedly pointed out that the large percentage of homosexual males involved in the fashion industry has led to a demand for a boyish as opposed to a womanly figure... but I suspect that only goes so far. Perhaps it is simply imagined that clothes hang better on a rail-thin body.

Firstly there is the multi-billion dollar fashion, cosmetic, dietary and surgery industries which literally profit off of making women feel unhappy about their bodies. By bombarding women with images of an unobtainable ideal, you are creating a very effective marketing strategy for the continued growth of these multi-national industries. Women don't have very many mass media outlets, so targeting women's magazines is very effective: show pictures of skinny runway models on one page (or have a double spread feature on it), then on the opposite page have a large, colourful advert for a beauty product. Genius.

The woman on the left exists for commercial, monetary gain and profit. In Betty Friedan's day women's progress was impeded by the myth of domesticity, now it is being impeded by the myth of beauty. It's ironic that in the West, it was money that ultimately liberated women from the home: when women could be self-dependant. Now that capitalist virtue is being turned against them.

I recommend this book:



The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women by Naomi Wolf.

[JuniperWoolf]

I knew a prostitute who just operated out of her apartment in Edmonton (which was also my building; not too trashy a place, no heroine addicts or grafitti, pretty normal). She lived across the hall and it was hard not to notice her lifestyle, so I made friends with her because I was curious. She got to the point where she could rely solely on eight men who were repeat clientele. The way she did it was safe and kind of pleasant, they made appointments and everything and had developed an emotional attachment to her. Apparently they spent much of their time talking to her and holding her, they sought closeness and companionship from her as well as sex. Besides the prostitution she was pretty normal, kinda an airhead, but not an addict and she didn't have a "pimp" (aka slave owner). So, the people who seek prostitutes aren't necessarily disgusting inhuman freaks who think of women as sperm recepticals, and prostitutes don't have to be broken, ashamed, or victims.

Some of the bartenders I've worked with have prostituted themselves too, they get to know the guys through their job. I've bartended a lot, it's kind of fun and great money, and over the years I've known of about a dozen girls who have made some money on the side. I bet most women who have recieved money for sex have been bartenders or waitresses, most of the guys who come in and sit at the bar day after day in the middle of the day when it's slow are seeking female companionship anyway, and I do mean "companion." They like to talk, we get to know them very well, although there's an element of sexual admiration there too. Acutally bartending is weird, I've thought this before but it's very comparable to prostitution. It's sort of like prostitution without the sex, talk-prostitution. You dress nice and move around and pour drinks and have witty conversation with people who sit on the other side of a long table watching you do said deeds and returning your witty conversation, deriving happiness from it and give you money for it.

An attractive man has little need of whore houses but, even in those cases where he did, there is no replacement for the female who captures his heart.

An attractive married man does if all the odds are wrong and somehow marriage doesn't turn out to be everything it was cracked up to be. Also I think that if prostitution were legal and it was safe, there'd be a market for male-servicing-female prostitutes. Housewives get bored, and many are starving for a tumble with a young, attractive man.

My job is kind of a women dominated place but the electrical system is being upgraded (or something) and I really enjoy all those men climbing stairs, working hard.... I always seem to forget something these days and need to walk passed them again and again, wonder why.

Haha, they're doing roofing in phase six in town right now. In torn jeans. Topless.

I've always wondered, do women examine a man's groin area to try and discern his endowment.

Pointless here, everyone wears jeans and they get that sort of bump. Anyway I don't like big men, they hurt. Small men are comical and always act insecure (possibly because I think they're comical). Medium is best.

Anyway, I don't really see the need for prostitution in this day and age when women are able to prevent unwanted pregnancy and have a more relaxed attitude to sexual relations. In the past it wasn't easy but since the advent of the contraception pill it doesn't present anything like the problem it once did.

What about individuals with Down’s Syndrome or other incredibly debilitating physical or cognitive conditions? Should they wait for something that might never happen and then die without ever having touched a member of the opposite sex? They want to, they have that human urge just like everyone else. Actually there are lobbyist groups in favor of the legalization of prostitution with that cause as their sole intent.

But legalising it means legitimizing it, and with all the talk in this thread about bad influences on young girls, I'm not sure to agree with this proposal is a wise move.

The message an action or inaction conveys comes secondary to safety, always. That’s the same problem I have with the classic issue of the feminist movement re. cheerleading, there’s a rant of mine around here somewhere. If people are being hurt (and they are, by prostitution being illegal) then that should be the main focus. If it looks bad, or if it might influence people’s way of thinking, I say that’s worth the risk and I have more faith in the human race than to buy into it anyway. The “bad influence” doesn’t scare me. Look at this thread, and look at daily life. Is there really anyone who likes that whole skinny-as-sticks supermodel look, really? People aren’t sheep, they can’t be run by influence, and also natural inborn attraction can’t be overridden by influence. Men lust for roundness and squishiness in women, that’s their primal brain telling them “she’s healthy.” Were prostitution to be legalized we can’t tell how public perception of women would change, but who’s to say the change wouldn’t be positive? If “whores” weren’t an illegal social impurity to be scorned or even imprisoned? Our perception of the profession in general would change if they could be legitimate businesspeople who run their own lives, we can't predict the changes that legalizing prostitution would have on society but I'd put a lot of money on them being positive.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

I understand your puzzlement over those images and how they don't stack up, but the motive behind showing women images of this body ideal on the left has nothing at all to do with pandering to men, or of women trying to fulfill men's expectations. That is a very naiive view that a lot of men take. They seem to assume that this is what all the fuss about body image is about. Quite wrong.

He never said any if that, Dave. Pointing out what men like doesn't equal an argument saying that that is all that matters.

[Emil Miller]

[QUOTE=stlukesguild;1154246
According to a poll of men and women, the girl on the left matches women's ideal of the female body. The girl in the middle matches men's ideal of the female body, and the girl on the right matches the national average.

[/QUOTE]

Isn't there too much attention given by the media to the stick insect look ?
The above equation doesn't stack up because if women are being overwhelmingly pressured into looking very thin, why is the national average obviously overweight?:

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Isn't there too much attention given by the media to the stick insect look ?
The above equation doesn't stack up because if women are being overwhelmingly pressured into looking very thin, why is the national average obviously overweight?:

Well, we are talking about an average, so I think the women who're overweight will outweigh (pun intended) those who're underweight. After all, one can only weigh so little, while one can be as fat as one can set their mind to. After all, the average weight between a 100 pound woman and 400 pound woman is 250 pounds, which is definitely overweight.

America seems to be a country of extremes with a lot of things, weight definitely included. While there are definitely more women overweight, a lot go the other route and becomes too skinny. Some women even go both routes within their lifetime. When I was in France and London, the consistency of body weight, for men and women, was much more consistent. I was actually pretty blown away by the lack of fat people. I can't imagine what people who come to America must think. We definitely live up to being the fattest nation in the world.

[JuniperWoolf]

Isn't there too much attention given by the media to the stick insect look ?
The above equation doesn't stack up because if women are being overwhelmingly pressured into looking very thin, why is the national average obviously overweight?:

Well yeah, that's the problem being discussed here. They idolize a shape that they aren't capable of attaining, and this causes psychological damage and health issues and social problems and blah blah blah.

And is the national average girl "obviously overweight?" She doesn't look so to me, she looks healthy. Some people's bodies are naturally like on the right girl, twig arms, and they're perfectly healthy that way, stay twigs no matter how much they eat (my friend Kim is one). It seems obviously pretty rare though. I'd say most people's bodies naturally tend towards on the left girl's, and in order to force their shape into a Right Girl they'd have to use extreme, unhealthy methods. So, they're coveting something that they're physically incapable of having. Left Girls sometimes try to force their bodies into Right Girl shapes and make themselves sick, or they call themselves failures and hate themselves.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

I've always thought that the weight to be classified as obese was a bit low--but, then again, I'm in America, so I'm really used to seeing fat people. I tried finding what the weight to be considered obese is, but couldn't--all I find was BMI equations, and it's too early to do math.

[JuniperWoolf]

^I thought it was stupid too. Apparently:



My mom's 5'1, and she's 120 lbs. According to this, she's just missed being considered obese. The very idea is insane, look at her legs (the one with the white shirt):



Although her rack makes up a lot of her weight. Come to think of it, the BMI chart doesn't account for stuff like that, does it? What if someone has a big rack, or a particularly big head, they'd think they're "obese." And that's what they give people to judge themelves. Damn unreliable, I call it.

[Babyguile]

He never said any if that, Dave. Pointing out what men like doesn't equal an argument saying that that is all that matters.

We're trying to discern why the ideal presented to women does not match the ideal according to men. When StLukes was posting his thoughts about this I thought he was assuming that the ideal given to women should logically and necessarily match the male ideal of women. I've explained that these images do not necessarily function to meet that end. And even if he never meant to say what I thought he did, I think what I went on to say deserves a read-over anyway.

[PoeticPassions]

^I thought it was stupid too. Apparently:



My mom's 5'1, and she's 120 lbs. According to this, she's just missed being considered obese. The very idea is insane, look at her legs (the one with the white shirt):



Although her rack makes up a lot of her weight. Come to think of it, the BMI chart doesn't account for stuff like that, does it? What if someone has a big rack, or a particularly big head, they'd think they're "obese." And that's what they give people to judge themelves. Damn unreliable, I call it.

I quite agree... this seems all too skwewed, which also skews statistics on the percentage of obese people in countries (Brazil is supposed to have a huge obesity problem, as is Greece). But the way they measure BMI is weight to height ratio, which is not always a very accurate way to measure a person's body fat percentage or what they may look like. I know that when I work out and lift weights, my overall body weight may sometimes even increase but I look more slender... you can also have really skinny people that are really unhealthy and way less fit than a 'fatter' person...

I know some girls that are skinny just cause they don't eat anything, but if you touch their arm or leg, it is almost like mush. There is no muscle mass at all. That isn't attractive... and that's just plain unhealthy. Whereas, I know some girls that are slightly overweight, but they could outrun most and hike for hours while the 'fitter looking' people lag behind... so I think these things are not taken into consideration either.

As well as the whole thing like breasts or butt adding to weight... or even larger bones. My build is not petite, and even if I ate nothing at all, I'd never be petite, just because I have a larger chest cavity, larger ankles, etc.

[Babyguile]

Also my name isn't Dave MM; it's Robine.

[JuniperWoolf]

Also my name isn't Dave MM; it's Robine.

No way, me too! (sans "e")

[Babyguile]

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