I have recently began to write a story entitled "SeanQuinn12PH." The story revolves around a young man named Sean Quinn and he lives in 2025 after a Nuclear War. So it is quite obviously Post-Apocalyptic. Below you will see the beginning of this story, it's obviously not much but I would appreciate people to read through it. I would like to know what your thoughts are on it so far, does it make you want to read on? Is it interesting? If not, why and what should I add in? I would appreciate your inputs and if you enjoy the beginning of the story, leave me your name and I'll use it for one of the characters Enjoy (I hope) ! It begins:
Long ago, a prophecy was found. It said that one day, we humans would ruin our home and, that, for years after we would live in poverty and danger. The wars that caused the destruction of our home would rage for years and years to come until a man came forward. This man would unite the countries across the world and bring peace. In the year 2045, the world had changed. The world used to be so beautiful until it was tainted by the idiocy of humans. There were once fields like oceans of green with trees that seemed to reach the Gods. The clouds were a pure white, scattered across an endless blue sea. Now there is no longer any grass, no leaves on the trees. The sky is no longer the blue that some remember, nor are the clouds as white as angel's wings. After the Nuclear War, no beauty survived. The Nuclear War had began in 2013, when the forgotten greats of the world had a disagreement and sought revenge on one another. Some country's anger was so great that, despite the warnings, rained nuclear weapons down upon their enemies causing a domino effect. Friends of this country fire their nuclear weapons and then friends of friends. Before long, civilisation as they knew it was gone. The world was destroyed.
Above the desolate, forgotten land that was the earth, a lone eagle flew. It was an unusual but majestic sight to behold, as the only birds that flew these skys were vultures. It's penetrating gaze stared down upon the earth. It was midday and as a gentle, but firm, breeze rolled in from the east, the eagle tilted it's wings and glided to a small clearing below. In the clearing stood a boy, no older than 17. He stood straight, dressed in a worn pair of dark brown cargo pants tucked into his worn leather boots and a plain white t-shirt covered mostly in a thin leather jacket which had a sharp, white '12' marked on the shoulder. The boy's face was ordinary. Square and ruddy with freckles dotted on the cheeks. His hair was chestnut-brown and his wavy locks stirred in the warm breeze. He stood with pursed lips, his piercing gaze watching the eagle circle above. His large, rough hands were clenched behind his back and as the breeze touched him he sniffed, noting the smell of dust and decay. This young man was Sean Quinn, of vault 12. The eagle circled the clearing a notable amount of times, watching Sean. Sean turned away from the eagle rather reluctantly to look at the gear by his feet. He'd only been out of the vault for 20 minutes, but he had had to stop because of how uncomfortable his things were. He carried a quiver of arrows and his bow, a backpack filled with spare clothes, a large water bottle, food and a medical kit. He wasn't venturing out anywhere far but it was nescessary to carry it in the wilderness.
His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by three loud gongs that sounded a mile or so away. It was the vault signalling for people to return. Sean sighed and crouched down to pick up his gear. He slung the backpack over his shoulder, cringing at the sudden extra weight, attached the quiver to the back and held the bow in his right hand. He turned 180 degrees to venture back to the vault but twisted his neck one last time to catch a glimpse of the eagle. It was gone. He searched the sky for a few seconds before he accepted that it had flown back to wherever it had came from and started to walk away from the clearing.
It didn't take long to get back to the vault, he had taken this path more times than he could count. He was walking down a dirt path surrounded by dead trees, pushing branches out of his way, when the vault came into view. A mixed surge of emotions flooded through him when it came into sight, a sense of home, isolation, sadness and above all else, anger. Sean tried to quench the anger like his father had taught him but to no avail. He hated the vault. It was ugly looking, a thick, metal spear sticking out of the ground. It had faded with time and the majority of it was covered in rust and dirt. 4 guards stood duty outside of the one and only entrance and, as Sean neared them, they pressed a small button off to the side that swung open the doors. Inside was bare. An elevator and a single lightbulb. Another guard stood by the elevator.
"Floor P," was all that Sean said as he strode into the elevator.
"I'm afraid we have to wait for the other one," the guard said, gruffly. This brought Sean to full attention and he stared the man in the face. He recognised the man, though no name sprung to mind.
"Other one?" Sean inquired, genuinely surprised. He was usually the only one that dared leave the vault, he had assumed that if anybody else would then they would have left at the same time as him. The guard remained silent and stared ahead at the vault's door.
To say the silence was awkward would be an understatement. Sean could smell the stale sweat that clung to the air from the guards who had just gone off duty. Whatever time it was that people were allowed out was usually the time that guard's duties switched. Time passed and Sean grew restless.
"You do realise that this 'other one'," he mockingly air quoted as he said 'other one', "was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago?" As he finished his sentence, a girl no older than Sean entered the elevator with a handful of weeds. She was smiling openly, showing a full set of pearl white teeth and her chocolate brown eyes shone with vigour.
"Sorry about the delay," she chirped, her voice seemed to Sean like one of those voices you could listen to without getting bored, "Floor O." With that, the guard pressed a small button with the letter 'O' on and the elevator jerked before slowly moving it's way downwards. All light vanished as they made their way below ground and the only sound that could be heard was of the elevator whining. Sean had not had the time to see the girls features properly, but he could tell that he had certainly never seen her before. The elevator ride took about 90 seconds before they stopped. They had arrived at floor 'O.' There was a sudden flash of light which caused Sean to raise his hand to his face and cringe openly. All Sean heard was a short, "Thanks!" and footsteps leading away before the light was gone and the elevator jump started again. 10 seconds later, when Sean stood on the floor 'P', he was still pondering on who that girl was.