Almost Like Poetry

[paradoxical]

The Thinnest Line

westbound on I-10
and crossing lanes,
take the next exit
and pull into
Burger King at 3am,
do another line

put in a Black Sabbath CD

lean the seat back
and grind my teeth,
looking through
a cracked windshield
up at Texas sky

thinking to myself
that even the stars
are dying,
time is dying,
and there's
nothing we can do

turn the key
in the ignition
and pull out slow,
take another hit,
telling myself,

That's it. I have to come down.

but a promise
is just another wish
and I never want
to stop driving,

merge back on
the interstate,
each mile going
by in seconds

pass an
18-wheeler
doing 90,
a white cross
on the side
of the road
reminding
me how it
all can end

slow down to 75
going into
Fort Stockton
and hold my breath
as a State Trooper
goes by with
his lights flashing

saying to myself,
He doesn't know.
How could he
possibly know?

wake up in
a cheap motel
outside El Paso,
and try to remember
what day it is

think of Jessica
and reach over,
it's almost like
she's there next
to me but she
said never agin

so **** her
and **** New Orleans,

I'd rather be in West Texas

cut a line
on the table
then walk outside
into that dry,
warm air
and it's like
I can see across
the horizon

enough money
to last a
couple months
at least

and something
pulling me
forward,
through all
of this pain

I know it's real
and nothing will
ever touch me again

walk to
the office
and pay
for 5 more nights,
gonna get off
the tweak
and come back down,

drink for a week
then head to Utah
to look for work
or maybe Colorado,

anyplace will do

and freedom
is a broken compass,

a road is willingness,
a road is a river of dreams

[paradoxical]

In a Place Like This

the girl in the
Slipknot shirt
needs 50 cents
to ride the bus
and there's no
time to explain,

don't even
look into
those eyes,
just give her
the money and
go **** yourself

you think you can
handle this kind of pain?

a need so bad
it sends
a flare up
over the city,
on her way to
meet the man
waiting outside
the liquor store

he's sitting
with a knife
between his teeth,
a white trash
bloodline flowing
back to Alabama,
like sunrise
over Tuscaloosa

fading memories
in a dying brain,
left home at 16,
took the highway
to New Orleans and said,
It is here I will remain.

and now he feels
her coming,
chained
together
by this hunger,
she's sweating
on the bus in
full withdrawal,
standing,

holding the rail

$20 in her pocket,
she tells herself,
it is to death
we are born
and to death
we shall return,

but even into death
I will follow you,

into the next world and beyond

and her vision floats
out over the city,
watching a tourist
walk between graves,
St. Louis Cemetery #1

can see the ghost
of a young girl
weeping at her
mother's grave,
and a crackhead
coming up from behind

the man watches
that ghostly figure
until the little girl
turns and says,
Now you will be one of us.

she hears gunshots
as the vision
fades away and she
steps off the bus

I have the eyes,
she says,

The gift of sight.

and a connection
with everyone
in this city
who understands

that sometimes
there's some killing
that needs to be done

[paradoxical]

Jackie

Take me back to '97
and the night
we spent in the park.
Lying on the soft grass,
arms around each other,
listening to the train

"Which one is the North Star?" you asked me
and I took your hand and pointed,
the sky gun metal blue

Do you still remember me?
Hey Jackie, I remember you. Listen.
I am in the sky now,
up above the trees.
I'm calling your name
across the years,
after everything that's happened,
do you hear?

I am in the void now,
between dark and black.
Like a shadow,
but it's not the night.
Hey Jackie, I am the spirit of the night

I am in your veins now,
your blood flowing free.

Hey Jackie,
are you still a bad person,
just like me?

I think of you
when I hear that train blowing,
out there in the distance.
Don't know where,
but I stay up all night and listen

[Jerrybaldy]

dangerously romantic and evocative of love and lust and loss universally experienced but always always personal.

[paradoxical]

Thank you very much.