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Thread: Supermoon

  1. #1

    Supermoon

    moonrise
    over the world,
    above a vast
    cybernetic web,
    exabytes of binary data
    moving across continents

    a technosystem
    of global revolution
    now under surveillance;
    the watchful eye
    of a capitalist state

    every email,
    every web search recorded

    an artificial world
    of commerce and advertising,
    video games
    and pornography

    as another species dies,
    as the oceans die

    money and power,
    the ultimate dream
    of technocracy,
    a world police state

    cameras everywhere,
    cops everywhere,
    even prisons are
    now run for profit

    millions enslaved
    by debt and poverty,
    entire countries
    unable to even pay
    the interest on loans

    riots in every country now,
    tear gas
    and smashed windows

    as the elites
    make their last, final push,
    a global uprising
    the only solution,
    death the only escape
    "I have never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude." - Henry David Thoreau

  2. #2
    ShadowsCool ShadowsCool's Avatar
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    Excellent perspective. Yea, greed is behind every bad thing indeed.
    shad·ow ing

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by ShadowsCool View Post
    Excellent perspective. Yea, greed is behind every bad thing indeed.
    Thank you very much, ShadowsCool. I agree, and often wonder how much longer this system can continue. It seems that something has to give. Just look at the situation in Greece. A disaster caused by capitalism!

    By the way, I think you have a unique voice here on LitNet. Keep going.
    "I have never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude." - Henry David Thoreau

  4. #4
    King of Dreams MorpheusSandman's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
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    The Heart of the Dreaming
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    2,223
    Very 1984-ish. I like how the various "rich rhymes" seem to echo both of the theme of greed and the omnipresence of what's being described. My suggestion would be to trim back on some of the more direct statements, like the last line, or most of line 8. These are the subjects that need dramatizing rather than just stating. If you take too much of a macro view, people can too easily disconnect from it (as they can any social issue).
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung

    "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists

    "I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers

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