The dinner was ready-
Roasted duck and black paella,
Then the phone rang.
The moon late at six,
The scent of my perfume gone,
I refused to answer.
Merlot, Shiraz, or Chianti-
Glasses half-filled with red wine,
You called again.
In my room alone,
Folding boxes and plastic sheets,
I picked and popped.
Last edited by miyako73; 05-11-2012 at 10:53 AM.
"You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."
--Jonathan Davis
Not sure about the last line. It reminded me of bubble wrap. That aside, I am confused about a prepared dinner the scent of perfume gone and the uanaswered call. half glasses of wine and another call (which could be in person) The final stanza feels like a recent move to me. It's late as I type this and there seems to be alot missing which perhaps is the aim and I'm not in an analytical frame of mind.
Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb
I'm not sure about the last line either, is it to mean she picked up her things and popped out the door? It's perky, so implies the narrator moving on quickly, which I don't think really fits well with the poems tone otherwise.
Delta, I assume the narrator to be packing her things to leave the home shared with her husband because him not attending the dinner was the final straw in a faltering relantionship.
The lines themselves are lovely: the consistent tone and length of the stanza's middle lines control the rhythm of the poem well. Technically this is very good; and the story is well told.
''Actual self-awareness is the knowledge that we are all characters in someone elses dream.''
This is a simple poem contrasting the man's wooing (dinner) and excitement (wine) and the woman's boredom (bubble wrap) and loss of interest in a relationship (perfume) and comparing the inviting nature of food and bubble wrap. You are right there in your reading, Delta. I think you should share more your content-centered readings. You're good at writing depths, creating poignant images, and showing interesting narratives. Thanks.
"You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."
--Jonathan Davis
Catamite, I always try my poem to be open to varied interpretations. Intent-wise, I don't want to restrict a reader. I used boxes and plastic sheets and "picked" and "popped" also to suggest leaving and moving on or forcing the self to do something and failing, which are all related to a relationship that's losing steam.
Last edited by miyako73; 05-11-2012 at 12:09 PM.
"You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."
--Jonathan Davis
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