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Thread: English Holiday

  1. #1
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    English Holiday

    Through the tube
    and out the other end
    riding on an oyster.
    From Dodo birds
    eternally encased
    to the secret thoughts
    of Jane Austen.
    Squeezed like sausage meat
    through Portobello Road
    laughing all the way
    like a Banksy t-shirt.
    The sun glared behind Nelson
    so I fled underground
    where electric mice live
    and dance to jazz.
    I sailed away
    in a yorkshire pudding boat
    of beef stew
    dumplings and mash.
    With only minutes left
    in an internet cafe,
    I realised in the end
    there is no edit in life
    so I breathed in Chaucer's
    own handwriting.
    Don't we all yearn
    to walk across Abbey Road?
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  2. #2
    I'm not sure you have grasped the concept of Yorkshire puddings. We eat sausages rather than sausage meat. Banksy is a grafitti artist despised by those who have to live in the same city, though his art may well have migrated to tee shirts. The sun may very well glare somewhere behind the statue of Lord Nelson in Trafalgar Square, which is what I presume you mean, but it couldbe difficult to actually see it because of the buildings all around. I'm not sure that anything very much survives of Chaucerian script, but I might be wrong. Jane Austen and Portobello road are mutually alien concepts.

    The English are much beset by concepts of their own identity and no wonder oin the evidence of this inaccurate doggerel.

  3. #3
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    Took this to be a paean of praise to London written by a visitor who's heard or read a bit about London's history and charm, and wasn't disappointed. Obviously she didn't stay long enough to find out what a cheerless and grimly boorish bunch they actually are, though the response above has probably educated her in this respect. Vagantes must have towering standards if this is deemed doggerel. I think this is nicely put together little piece.

  4. #4
    Ahhhh, a predictable response from a member of a conquered provincial backwater.

    Btw I do not reside in London, nor am I English.

    Yorkshire puddings have got very little to do with London- the clue is in the name.

    Banksy worked in Bristol, I believe.

    And Ms Austen was certainly no cockney.

  5. #5
    Justifiably inexcusable DocHeart's Avatar
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    I know that Delta welcomes critics. Anyone who is serious about their writing does. What vagantes offers here, however, is not criticism but typical (and frankly, quite boring) parochialism. I have actually seen the sun shine behind Nelson's statue. I may even have done so enjoying a lorne sausage meat bun. In addition, any self-respecting London pub will serve Yorkshire puddings and gravy with roast beef.

    I enjoyed your poem, Delta, and thanks for sharing. Its chirpiness conveys the sense of being somewhere far away with the sun shining and the whole day ahead of you to see, smell, taste and explore.

    Regards,
    DH
    Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine...

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    Quote Originally Posted by vagantes View Post
    Ahhhh, a predictable response from a member of a conquered provincial backwater.
    You obviously know as little about history as you know about poetry if you think Scotland was conquered by England. Dont get your knickers in a twist, I think the poem was meant to be impressionistic, no a factual guide to England.

  7. #7
    Scotland has been a subject country to England for some time- why else would they be clamouring for their independence?

    The act of Union was reinforced by the failures of 1715 and 1745 followed by the suppression of the clans etc,. Scotland is a subject nation and has been these last three hundred years or so, to the extent that its language was almost obliterated. Even one of its greatest modern poets admitted that you could not hold an intelligent conversation in its native tongue.

    If you are going to write about something it might be useful to have some knowledge of what you are writing about.

    Sausage meat is a different food from sausages.

    The folk in the rather effete South may well serve Yorkshire pudding, but it bears no relation to the delicacy produced in Yorkshire, which is consumed with jam.

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    Quote Originally Posted by vagantes View Post
    Scotland has been a subject country to England for some time- why else would they be clamouring for their independence?

    The act of Union was reinforced by the failures of 1715 and 1745 followed by the suppression of the clans etc,. Scotland is a subject nation and has been these last three hundred years or so, to the extent that its language was almost obliterated. Even one of its greatest modern poets admitted that you could not hold an intelligent conversation in its native tongue.

    If you are going to write about something it might be useful to have some knowledge of what you are writing about.

    Sausage meat is a different food from sausages.

    The folk in the rather effete South may well serve Yorkshire pudding, but it bears no relation to the delicacy produced in Yorkshire, which is consumed with jam.
    They're not asking the English for their independence you dunderheid, the Scottish Government is wanting to dissolve the treaty of Union which was a negotiated merger between the two countries. England ceased to exist as a political entity in 1707 just like Scotland did, but the revonvening of the Scottish Parliament returned a devolved form of Government to Scotland. In actual fact England, having no parliament, actually doesn't exist except as a geographical convenience. The Jacobite Rebellions were not, as you seem to suggest, some last throw of the dice, but a religious Civil War within Great Britain. There were more Scots on the Government side at Culloden than there were in the Jacobite army. The withering of gaelic, which I regret, began long before the 18th Century.

    I suggest we carry this on in some other place, however, since its a poetry thread, and you clearly have little or no notion what you're talking about.

  9. #9
    Some merger. The Scots had been reduced to little more than serfs, who survived by cattle rustling.

    Scotland had been effectively under English control since Alexander III, drunk no doubt, fell off a path and broke his neck. The ups and downs since then were little more than a staving off of the inevitable.

    Salmond is a political opportunist who will rue the day he began the present nonsense.

    Your opinions about Culloden would pay a detailed reading of John Prebble.

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    Not worth responding to this. Not only is it fatuous, it verges on racism

  11. #11
    Here is a small part of the Archbishop of Glasgow's curse against the Border Reivers:

    "I curse thair heid and all the haris of thair heid; I curse thair face, thair ene, thair mouth, thair neise, thair toung, thair teith, thair crag, thair schulderis, thair breist, thair hert, thair stomok, thair bak, thair wame, thair armes, thair leggis, thair handis, thair feit, and everilk part of thair body, frae the top of thair heid to the soill of thair feit, befoir and behind, within and without".

    It goes on and on in much the same vein which shows how easily Scots can become miffed. It also shows how much they dislike the folk of other countries or even of other areas.

    In short their judgement becomes warped.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by vagantes View Post
    Here is a small part of the Archbishop of Glasgow's curse against the Border Reivers:

    "I curse thair heid and all the haris of thair heid; I curse thair face, thair ene, thair mouth, thair neise, thair toung, thair teith, thair crag, thair schulderis, thair breist, thair hert, thair stomok, thair bak, thair wame, thair armes, thair leggis, thair handis, thair feit, and everilk part of thair body, frae the top of thair heid to the soill of thair feit, befoir and behind, within and without".

    It goes on and on in much the same vein which shows how easily Scots can become miffed. It also shows how much they dislike the folk of other countries or even of other areas.

    In short their judgement becomes warped.
    Did the Romans and the Roman Catholic actually do so much harm to the Celts? Had never heard that outcome before.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by vagantes View Post
    Here is a small part of the Archbishop of Glasgow's curse against the Border Reivers:

    "I curse thair heid and all the haris of thair heid; I curse thair face, thair ene, thair mouth, thair neise, thair toung, thair teith, thair crag, thair schulderis, thair breist, thair hert, thair stomok, thair bak, thair wame, thair armes, thair leggis, thair handis, thair feit, and everilk part of thair body, frae the top of thair heid to the soill of thair feit, befoir and behind, within and without".

    It goes on and on in much the same vein which shows how easily Scots can become miffed. It also shows how much they dislike the folk of other countries or even of other areas.

    In short their judgement becomes warped.
    Eh? Obviously we can find evidence in every country of historical divisions. The Reivers were stateless clans who were outlawed in both Scotland and England, the English Government (cos there was one then) condemned them too.

  14. #14
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    There was PLENTY to cheer about even before I got to:

    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    so I breathed in Chaucer's
    own handwriting.
    Don't we all yearn
    to walk across Abbey Road?
    Lovely!!

  15. #15
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Well as much as I enjoyed the feisty discussion as Hallaig, DH and Prince point out, it is a poem and nothing more. I'm on holiday, revelling in my own experiences and so I was rather surprised at the response by Vagantes, some of which made no sense since the poem is called English Holiday and not London Holiday. However, I'm running out of credit again.....!
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

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