Charles Dickens Describes My Home Town . . . What a Douchebag.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Since it is ol' CD's 200th birfday this year, my local newspaper, the Belleville News Democrat (named after the town I live in) wrote an article about a visit Dickens's made to Belleville and other surrounding towns. He wrote about it in his book American Notes. Suffice it to say he was not impressed. Here are some of the highlighted quotes from the article:

"The journey to Belleville was described as one of "nothing more than slimy, stagnant, filthy water and log houses in a squalid state. ... It is a small collection of wooden houses huddled together in the very heart of the bush and swamp.' "

"At the time of his visit to Belleville, the Mansion House at Main and High streets was owned by Thomas Harrison, owner of Harrison Mills. Although not a new building, it had a good reputation and was in good condition. ... Dickens described the Mansion House as 'An odd, shambling, low-roofed outhouse, half cowshed and half kitchen with coarse brown canvas tablecloth and tin sconces stuck against the walls to hold candles at suppertime.' "

Check out the full article here.

[YesNo]

He must have visited your home town well over a hundred years ago.

I remember taking a tour of the Eagle Bluff Lighthouse in Peninsula Park, Wisconsin, this past summer: http://eagleblufflighthouse.doorcoun...alsociety.org/ The families who maintained that lighthouse had one of of the nicest accommodations in the area at the time and I kept thinking how primitive their living standards were compared to what people are used to now. Dickens visited your area perhaps 50 years earlier.

[mortalterror]

Well, yeah dude. You live in Illinois.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

The thing is that this land isn't in any way a swamp. I live in the Great Plains. It's quite boring, but not in the way he describes.

And, don't get me wrong. This article in no way angered me. It had me laughing. I rather like that Dickens saw my hometown with such disdain. I don't like it much, either.

[mortalterror]

Mr. Dickens,
You have offended me, sir. Your description of my home town's squalor is inaccurate and quite absurd. We are a dusty plain not a marshy swamp. You briefly address our general poverty, but make no mention of our lack of culture and poor public schools, which any local could tell you we are known for. And when you say that my wife is ugly and ill mannered you might just as well have been talking about any woman as well as she! Master of descriptive prose, my ***! Your whole article is pure fabrication and poppycock from start to finish. As soon as my son gets home from the factory, I will dispatch him to the general store to return every one of your books we have pilfered forthwith, and I assure you my daughter shall not soon steal another.

P.S. On the off chance that you were mistaken about the locale and were really writing about Wisconsin, I beg your apologies. You are quite right, sir. That land is a hotbed of sodomy and witchcraft, may the Earth swallow it up.

Sincerely, Mutatis-Mutandi

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Mr. Dickens,
You have offended me, sir. Your description of my home town's squalor is inaccurate and quite absurd. We are a dusty plain not a marshy swamp. You briefly address our general poverty, but make no mention of our lack of culture and poor public schools, which any local could tell you we are known for. And when you say that my wife is ugly and ill mannered you might just as well have been talking about any woman as well as she! Master of descriptive prose, my ***! Your whole article is pure fabrication and poppycock from start to finish. As soon as my son gets home from the factory, I will dispatch him to the general store to return every one of your books we have pilfered forthwith, and I assure you my daughter shall not soon steal another.

P.S. On the off chance that you were mistaken about the locale and were really writing about Wisconsin, I beg your apologies. You are quite right, sir. That land is a hotbed of sodomy and witchcraft, may the Earth swallow it up.

Sincerely, Mutatis-Mutandi

That was truly hilarious, mortal.

[mortalterror]

That was truly hilarious, mortal.

Thanks, man. I just love the fact you were more upset with Dickens for his inaccuracies than for his put downs and ****ting on the place where you live.

[prendrelemick]

[I]"The journey to Belleville was described as one of "nothing more than slimy, stagnant, filthy water and log houses in a squalid state. ... It is a small collection of wooden houses huddled together in the very heart of the bush and swamp.' "

.

On the positive side, your town may have inspired the American experiences of Martin Chuzzlewit.

[mal4mac]

He must have visited your home town well over a hundred years ago.

Where you been YesNo? Charles Dickens is 200 years old this week!

It's a really bad show to insult good old Boz on his birthday, old chap. Might get us black balled at the club. I'll not be voting for you as president of the literature forum this year, old boy.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Thanks, man. I just love the fact you were more upset with Dickens for his inaccuracies than for his put downs and ****ting on the place where you live.

What can I say? It's kind of a ****hole.

It's a really bad show to insult good old Boz on his birthday, old chap. Might get us black balled at the club. I'll not be voting for you as president of the literature forum this year, old boy.

Well, I'm nothing if not a renegade.

[JCamilo]

I hope you dont read Kafka's traveling guide to America either

[JBI]

He was probably accurate enough.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

He was probably accurate enough.

Did you read the thread, or are you just blithely agreeing because he had a disparaging view of America?

[Calidore]

I have a close friend in Edwardsville, but I'm not sure if we've ever been to Belleville when I've visited. Besides dusty plains, is there anything interesting to see there? Or good food?

[the facade]

Mr. Dickens,
You have offended me, sir. Your description of my home town's squalor is inaccurate and quite absurd. We are a dusty plain not a marshy swamp. You briefly address our general poverty, but make no mention of our lack of culture and poor public schools, which any local could tell you we are known for. And when you say that my wife is ugly and ill mannered you might just as well have been talking about any woman as well as she! Master of descriptive prose, my ***! Your whole article is pure fabrication and poppycock from start to finish. As soon as my son gets home from the factory, I will dispatch him to the general store to return every one of your books we have pilfered forthwith, and I assure you my daughter shall not soon steal another.

P.S. On the off chance that you were mistaken about the locale and were really writing about Wisconsin, I beg your apologies. You are quite right, sir. That land is a hotbed of sodomy and witchcraft, may the Earth swallow it up.

Sincerely, Mutatis-Mutandi

Hahah
this had me in tears!