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Thread: Just another day.... (Just an idea, what do y'all think?)

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    Just another day.... (Just an idea, what do y'all think?)

    It happened yesterday during dinner, just as the clock struck seven o' clock. And I can still faintly recall the few moments that transcursed before the initial impact. I can still hear the faint ticking and tocking of the clock as it coursed through the last minutes of it's existence.Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock.Followed by the usual chatter that goes with any family dinner. 'How was your day, honey?' 'Great, the boss said that if all goes well, I'll get a 45 percent increase on my yearly bonus' 'Oh that's great! You really deserve it!Kids, how were your days?' 'Good, I got an A on my algebra test' 'Oh my, so many good news today!' 'Randal, how was your day?' 'About the same, except I got an A on my science test, and Mrs.-' BANG!! I stopped cold in mid-sentence as the unmistakable sound of a gunshot rang outside. We all looked at each other, fearing the worst. But the reality of the situation would prove to be more terrifying than the images we had fabricated in the deepest terrains of our sub-conscious. And then, about 10 seconds after the initial gunshot, came the response. Another solitary gunshot rang throughout the neighborhood. Again, silence dominated the night. The seconds transcursed for what seemed like ages.But this time, the response would prove to be much more devastating. In a matter of seconds, a blurry of gunfire had inundated our seemingly picture-perfect suburban American neighborhood, while the shrieking of our horrified neighbors pierced through the night.......

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    The conversation was a bit long winded and boring honestly. You took a while to get to the main point and even then I was confused as to what was going on.

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    Thanks for the honest feedback, this is actually the first time I've tried to create a story in a LONG time.

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    Haha I know that feeling. You have good writing skills and I'd like to read more if your work.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeranikaSloane View Post
    The conversation was a bit long winded and boring honestly. You took a while to get to the main point and even then I was confused as to what was going on.
    Same here, sorry.

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