Originally Posted by
Bar22do
In this one, Gal, I preferred the first part, till approximately L10, later on you insist a bit too much (in my humble opinion) on the one who might be left behind the door. How about the suggestion below (just a direction, one I would take were it my poem, so feel free to disregard, for the poem is yours and I'm unavoidably subjective...
You can just close the door behind you.
With the steps going away (you will pretend to ignore)
that I (am) digging my toes in the ground
You (will) move towards something, anything,
away from the door you (have) close(d).
The sky will still follow you, for it cannot end
behind your ankle
the road will not waver beneath
and someone will amuse you enough outside,
(but, do you really want to close the door?)
I love discovering your poetry!
Bar