Warming away.
Standing in pride.
Smiling so wide.
Flowing it may.
Running in gray.
Forgetting along.
Singing a song.
All a nonsense.
Heavy and dense.
Straight and strong.
Summon
Warming away.
Standing in pride.
Smiling so wide.
Flowing it may.
Running in gray.
Forgetting along.
Singing a song.
All a nonsense.
Heavy and dense.
Straight and strong.
Last edited by odliam; 01-22-2012 at 02:08 PM. Reason: Betterment
I like this poem.
short and to the point.
I love the changes in the visuals.
I enjoyed it!
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
It rhymes - but to me none of the individual lines make sense.
H
Originally Posted by cacian
Thank you, cacian!
You picked up the gist of it, your sentence "I love the changes in the visuals"
shows it!
Despite the easiness of the structure and the lightness of the words, I
reckon it is not a simple follow up, mixed cultural integration is not a mild
way to express poetry!
Have you some Erse background?
¬O.
Last edited by odliam; 01-22-2012 at 08:54 PM. Reason: To complete the message.
Thank you for your comment, hillwalker!
Yes, it rhymes, and if you look close you will find a somewhat strange
coupling of the rhyming lines for English language structure.
This little piece tries to honor the memory of an old feat brought to us as a
myth by a hero from Manx history, who, it is said, ousted Vikings from the
Irish Sea, in easiness, singing, and without nonsense.
Granted it may sound a little bit as a group of unconnected lines.
¬O.
Manx history - how do you expect readers to discover this from lines like
Smiling so wide - Flowing it may - Running in grey - Forgetting along - Singing a song?
It reads like jibberish if I'm honest with you and reveals nothing about mythology to my untrained eye. I'm obviously missing the point.
H
no this the first Ihave heard of him.Have you some Erse background?
why do you ask?
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
You are right, the idea is not to reveal the origin or tell a story but just make the eyes gleam.
I am not trying to parallel my writing, of course, but when you read Blake, or even Lord Tennyson the first time, it is possible you will find some not easy to understand lines.
What I tried to do is just to let the tongue, or thoughts, slide down into something easy and bonny.
I appreciate your opinion, being a new hand in the forum I must learn the ways!
Thank you!
¬O.
For your quick perception of the hidden meanings in the loose sentences.
They depict a visual description of something, not saying what.
Thank you, it was a positive point in my not too good intent at easy rhyme.
¬O.
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