View Poll Results: Please vote for the story you like best by December 31st.

Voters
61. You may not vote on this poll
  • You Ooze, You Lose

    7 11.48%
  • Playing the Piano

    6 9.84%
  • Kim and Me

    19 31.15%
  • The Story of Remembering

    9 14.75%
  • Forever Young

    20 32.79%
Page 6 of 9 FirstFirst 123456789 LastLast
Results 76 to 90 of 132

Thread: 2011 Short Story Competition Final

  1. #76
    sound of music soundofmusic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    1,546
    [QUOTE=Sancho;1101712]Whoa!

    In a New York minute, no fewer than two-and-a-half million farmer’s-daughter jokes flashed across Sancho’s brain.

    Well okay, I’m from one of the backwater States, so the New York minute went on for around an hour and a half. It was like a flashback from ‘Nam. Except I didn’t go to ‘Nam – I was still trying really hard to grow pubic hair back during the Vietnam conflict. I know, I know, TMI.

    But anyway, it was like a flashback – from…Mmm…from…Umm…Hey I know, from Comedy Central. That’s it! I’ve watched too much of that station. Man-Bear-Pig? Mr. Gore? You’ve killed Kenny! You bastard!

    As for the fox-in-the-henhouse story line, I can’t compete with Ray Benson and Asleep at Wheel’s Ain’t Nobody Here but Us Chickens (in that you-tube video, I fancied myself as the rooster, go figure). But since SilentMute went from a change-up pitch to a slider (very clever) and Sounds is throwing every pitch in the book at me, I figure we’re over to a farmer’s-daughter story now, so I have a short-fiction recommendation:

    Try Flannery O’Connor’s Good Country People

    Here’s a teaser:



    Joy winds up in the barn with a bible salesman, but it’s not what you’d expect.

    I visited Flannery a couple of weeks ago. I was on my way home to Atlanta from Macon and decided to take a side trip through Milledgeville just to try to find her marker in the cemetery there. I did. She died too young; I’d like to see where her writing would’ve gone.[/QUOTE)

    Gosh, Sancho, is there a tv program or book you're not familiar with...this Florida Saltine can't keep up...Well, I guess this thread is about to close in two days and I have a half empty bottle of rum with my name on it for the new year...so see you next year.

  2. #77
    Registered User SilentMute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,780
    Silent is beginning to wonder if people are drinking a little early in celebration for the new year. She is totally confused. Are we starting early because we believe we're all going to die in 2012?

    So....

    The townspeople begin to suspect witchcraft is being practiced in their small town. Yes, even in this day and age, people believe in witches who have all the power in the world, but nothing better to do with it than annoy their neighbors. Are we so surprised? The nation's IQ is not much higher than the Browns with quality television spewing out shows like Jersey Shore. People believe we are all going to die next year because the Mayan calendar didn't go past 2012. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe the Mayans thought a several thousand year calendar was good enough--and if they lived to the year 2012, they would just make another one?

    Anyway, what was the point? Oh, yes. They believed there was a witch in their midst. One of their neighbors--the hussy--disappeared while counting chickens in her barn. She left her daughter behind with a sink full of dirty dishes and a house that was in need of repair, but at least the bills were paid for that month. There was no guarantee the bills would be paid next month, though, since the neighbor spent it all on girl scout cookies.

    Then, of course, there was Fanny's ugly baby. Witchcraft could only explain that, they thought. So they looked in the Yellow Pages to find an exorcist, but because they didn't know how to spell it, they hired an exercise instructor. However, as it turns out, John-John Sanchez Buenapita had been a priest at one time. It seemed possible that not only could he get them in good shape and lower the cholesterol, he might be able to get rid of their witch.

    Of course, when he arrived, there were some doubts. He exited his red sports car, wearing tight bicycle pants that revealed his buff bod. He had a superman cape on, and he was carrying a very resigned red cat who was wearing a Santa cap with a mouse dangling at the end of it. The cat looked like it just wanted to hang itself, though whether it was because its life was miserable, or it was mortified at being seen in such a ridiculous hat...I don't know.

    The townspeople stared at John-John Sanchez Buenapita, and he stared back at them. His confidence was melting away under their scrutiny. His buff bod seemed to be getting scrawnier. The red cat in the stupid hat started squirming, hoping to make a break for it.

    Suddenly, an old lady walked up to him. She was gasping for breath from the exertion of walking a few steps. Nana Bella never allowed the inconvenience of not being able to breathe slow her down. She just went on her way, carrying her three foot oxygen tank behind her.

    "I remember you!" she finally wheezed, "I've seen you before!"

    John-John Sanchez Buenapita looked at her nervously, which made the townspeople suspect he was guilty of some horrible crime. In truth, he didn't understand her. On top of not being able to breathe, Nana Bella had no teeth, and constant Botox injections had paralyzed one side of her face. To someone who was not accustomed to talking to her, she made as much sense as the Tasmanian Devil, and she spat just as much.
    I don't care if the glass is half full or half empty, I'm just glad to have a glass.

  3. #78
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    2,489
    And then Sanch-O and Sound-O barreled into town in a beat-up 1974 Dodge Monaco with the muffler hanging, the radiator boiling over, and the shield from the Mount Prospect Police Department on the door poorly painted over. Mariachi music was pumping from the trunk-mounted subwoofers at an insane volume. The car skidded to a stop in the crowd of people and then commenced to do donuts with rubber squealing and gravel flying until the crowd was all sniffing and fetching like their heads was on fire and their arses was catching.

    When the car finally came to a stop in a cloud of dust, Sound-O stumbled out with a half bottle of rum, a wild look in her eyes, and announced to no one in particular, “We started New Years a little early.”

    Sanch-O meanwhile leaned against the front fender, cracked another cold one, and with a sense of slightly overdone nonchalance said, “Yup.”

    Sanchez wandered over to Sanch-O and said, “Cousin, Que tal? New wheels?”

    Sanch-O came back with, “Si, It's got a cop motor, a 440-cubic-inch plant. It's got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. And by the way, cousin, what’s with the luchador get up?"

    Sanchez said, “I got all dressed up to come into town to vote. We’ve got this contest going on, but it’s all tied up.”

    Sanch-O said, “Well it looks like you’re headed for extra innings then.”
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  4. #79
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Tébessa, Algeria
    Posts
    46
    How to vote?what to do?
    Only happiness can overcome problems!

  5. #80
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6,053
    Quote Originally Posted by Zemouli Chahra View Post
    How to vote?what to do?
    Go to the poll at the start of the page, then click on the title of the story you think is best.

    H

  6. #81
    www.markbastable.co.uk MarkBastable's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,447
    Quote Originally Posted by hillwalker View Post
    Go to the poll at the start of the page, then click on the title of the story you think is best.

    H
    Except that he's got only 32 posts to his name.

  7. #82
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    25
    Ah, it's a shame but I'll never get all the posts I need to vote by December 31st.

    Good luck to all participants anyway!

  8. #83
    Pièce de Résistance Scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Tweet @ScherLitNet
    Posts
    23,825
    Visit our Games section if you want to increase your post count!

    Going once...
    ~
    "It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
    ~


  9. #84
    Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    San Juan, Northwestern Argentina.
    Posts
    6,033
    Blog Entries
    3
    Voted!
    Beautiful stories all of 'em!

  10. #85
    Love, peace & harmony sadparadise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Neverland
    Posts
    173
    I am casting my vote. Thank you to the writers in the final five, I have enjoyed them all. A little sci fi, a lil kafkaesque, confessional and some fairytale. Good luck!
    I have realized that the past and the future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is. Alan Watts

  11. #86
    Pièce de Résistance Scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Tweet @ScherLitNet
    Posts
    23,825
    Due to popular demand, the voting period has been extended.

    The competition will now end on January 1st.

    Thank you all for voting and making this one the most popular competition yet.
    ~
    "It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
    ~


  12. #87
    Account closed.
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Cape Cod, Massachusetts
    Posts
    540
    Thankyou for asking! I do think that we should not have been able to see poll results until after the winner has won. I purposely did not look at the poll results when I voted.

  13. #88
    BadWoolf JuniperWoolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    The North
    Posts
    4,433
    Blog Entries
    28
    ...You've got to be kidding.
    __________________
    "Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So once when I was six, I did. At first the brightness was overwhelming, but I had seen that before. I kept looking, forcing myself not to blink, and then the brightness began to dissolve. My pupils shrunk to pinholes and everything came into focus and for a moment I understood. The doctors didn't know if my eyes would ever heal."
    -Pi


  14. #89
    Account closed.
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Cape Cod, Massachusetts
    Posts
    540
    Quote Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf View Post
    ...You've got to be kidding.
    No, why? Don't you think that looking at poll results before you vote has an influence?
    Okay then, maybe you're thinking that I am a sore loser because I voted for a story that got the least votes so far? I am willing to listen to
    honesty and criticism.
    Last edited by KCurtis; 01-01-2012 at 10:52 AM.

  15. #90
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    3,890
    Those few who might be driven by poll results are part of the democracy. It's the way things work.

Similar Threads

  1. 2010 Annual Short Story Competition Final
    By Scheherazade in forum 2010 Contest Archive
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 12-21-2011, 08:48 PM
  2. Poe Short Story Discussion Group
    By Dark Muse in forum Poe, Edgar Allan
    Replies: 231
    Last Post: 06-12-2010, 01:21 AM
  3. Heart Of Darkness Questions
    By caseofthex in forum Heart of Darkness
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-07-2009, 10:49 AM
  4. Annual Short Story Competition 2008!
    By Scheherazade in forum 2008 Contest Archive
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 12-28-2008, 08:08 AM
  5. LitNet Short Story Competition
    By Logos in forum General Literature
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-18-2006, 05:24 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •