Standalone J. Books was, in this reader's opinion, the greatest author of the 20th century. He lived everyday feeling like an eighth grade formal dance, with him off in the shadows of the dance floors, erect, solitary, watching the other boys boxstep with their dates. After high school, he tried the comedy club circuit but nobody came to the shows. Finally, when he sat down and began to write his first novel, he became surrounded by friends and family. He vowed never to position himself as mostly upright again.

He was first cousins with Standand Deliver, who gained some notoriety in high school health classes.