---CH. 0, INTRO---
There is always a certain checkpoint in life in which every average human being witnesses their life from the 3rd person point of view and begins to accept the fact that he or she is a horrible person, and thus goes through a state of depression before thereafter giving up any hope of analyzing their own lives as they return to their normal state of blissful, peaceful ignorance. For some, this phase may last for what appears to be decades. For others, only a short while.
In Matthew's case, for the longest period of time, happiness did not assume priority in his mixed emotions. Preceding this phase, Matthew had just begun to absorb contents of a medication intended to relieve the symptoms of his anger management. Less moments of violence and more time to dwell on thought resulted in his lifeline finally meeting that checkpoint at only age 14.
Let us begin the tale at Matt's realization of himself.
---CH. 1---
At a time approxamitely residing near 11:00 PM on a frozen night, a confused child watched the wind blow against the trees from within a comfortable shelter of an apartment and realized, for the first time, the sentience lying deep within the leaves of the trees. He stood, for a moment, in their view, gazing blankly and helplessly as the wind shoved him back and forth. He wondered how to overcome this barrier, this invisible barrier preventing him from expressing himself and declaring that he did not enjoy being shoved as was occuring.
He was quickly jolted back to his reality to realize the cruelty of life. It was as if he was caged in within the third dimension's barriers, time's barriers, and life's barriers. He had never witnessed death firsthand, however he did wonder. Matthew was raised to be religious, a Christian, specifically, but recently he had noticed things in his world that struck him as odd.
Matthew was not "loved" by anyone. He was lied to. His own father had admitted to wishing death upon him, however indirect the statement was. His mother had also admitted to her own life assuming a position higher in priority than his. His friends had turned to marijuana and eventually hard drugs, and had no need for his company any longer. He was essentially worthless to society and had a major anger management problem. In short, wherever Matt traveled, violence was sure to follow.
That night, the first attempt at suicide in that household occured. He had only mentioned the thought to one person, his ex-girlfriend with whom he was still close friends. She, being there, had put the situation to a hault before the blade could touch his adam's apple. Not long after, recently-informed and concerned parents had antidepressants prescribed to the child.
It didn't work.