Life Sucks

[MystyrMystyry]

Quite right. It is as simple as that.

You offer advice to a junkie and it falls on deaf ears - thus you've wasted your breath which would have been put to better use elsewhere.

You try to give them an actual hand up and they'll respond by trying to take advantage of your sympathy, kindness, time, and whatever else. You have to actually meet and attempt to help these people to learn first hand that their innate idiocy and self-centredness (albeit the result of their ingested poisons or elsewise) will earn not even genuine thanks.

Their so-called 'suffering' comes not from the anaeshetic qualities of their chosen drugs, but the lack thereof. Basically you can't help someone who isn't prepared to help themselves, and though a rare few have given themselves the time to try, it doesn't mean it's worth the effort for the vast majority.

No drug is so addictive it can't be overcome, but these 'people' are just using drugs as a crutch to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. The day they decide to do so is the day they can start living - it's not my job to help them. I can only wish they wake up, but that's as far as my involvement will ever go. You can waste you time trying if you want, but their problems are not actually the fault of anyone else (other than the enablers obviously).

There's a Yiddish proverb:

The fool sees happiness in the distance, the wise it grows beneath their feet.

These fools see happiness only in the next vial, bottle, syringe, baggy, whatever, and have chosen to shortcircuit their neurons to diminish both a future and immediate happiness.

Life's a gift, and wasted only on the wasters.

Do I care about the reason for their stupidity? Not in the least! It's entirely their fault.

[sh_einstein]

Top Tips for a Happy Life: http://www.online-literature.com/for...ad.php?t=64062

Life is what it is. If you dwell on the negative - that is what will define you; own you.

Volunteer. Learn to become a glass half full person. Hang with people who have good old fashioned wholesome fun. Get counseling. Turn off the news. Watch & read comedies that make you laugh. Smell the roses. Garden. Write about your cares (it's cathartic)... besides you've already started here; write a short story or poem or autobiography.

Best wishes,
tailor STATELY

Well, yeah I feel awesome after reading a good book or watching a nice movie but so what? Is that what life is all about? laughing at jokes and keeping yourself busy so you don't see all the craziness?
[thanks for your advice. I took a long walk in the beautiful autumn weather today. Didn't change my mind about life in general but it was good (: ]

You need to find a passion to carry you through life. Both long term goals and short term goals.

Me, I'm an artist - I've trained my brain to be one. But I'm not an artist if I don't do anything.

Before a work I get enthusiastic. During the work. After the work. Buying new materials.

Everyone else is also an artist - a lot just don't realise it because it seems easier to let someone else do it. And that may seem to be true, but from experience I know it's much less satisfying than having a project to occupy your mind - and it can be anything from rejuvinating an old piece of furniture with oils and fabrics, to writing the most amazing novel ever.

But it's up to you to do it first and talk about it later - not sit around imagining it. While you're dong it your brain develops ideas, and after you've finished your brain develops ideas for the next thing.

People who take up space and do absolutely nothing, expecting to be entertained, are miserable, selfish and boring, and deserve all the unhappiness the universe inflicts on them.

You have to generate your own happiness in which ever way you see fit though. You have to use your head and your hands. You have to feel that you've achieved something, that your time has been worthwhile and productive - this gives you the understanding and direction to ensure that your future will also.

Don't be a snail brain!

Actually I've achieved a lot in my life. I've been the best in almost everything I did. You might be 'older' than I am but you're where I used to be 4 years ago. It's not about productiveness really... after a while you get used to it all and then you want to achieve bigger and bigger things. One day when you've made enough achievements you'd realize that everything is just so pointless...

and about your last post:
I appreciate your time and effort. I don't think you're any different from the people you're insulting... You think you're so right that you've closed your ears to what everyone else is saying.
[and what's wrong with being a dishwasher? I assume you're one of those people who think power's got to do everything with happiness.]

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Actually I've achieved a lot in my life. It's not about productiveness... after a while you get used to it all and then you want to achieve bigger and bigger things. One day you realize that everything is just so pointless...

So, you're a nihilist.

Whatever makes you feel better

Why would it make me feel better to feel sorry for you? What's that supposed to mean?

Life is what you make of it. I, too, am a realist, but that doesn't mean I can't find enjoyment every once in a while. If you can't, it's your problem. Do something about it, aside from moaning and being condescending to those who don't share your world view.

Actually, there is something else that goes along with the sympathy I feel for eternal pessimists, and that's anger. I have friends like you, always complaining about how unfair the world is. Get over it. You may not have a lot, but you surely have a lot more than many. Your ability to moan and act like a petulant child is proof enough that you do.

I also like how you seem to be justifying your pessimism by trying to show how happy people are somehow deluded. Not only do you want to be miserable, you want to drag others down with you.

[author1500less]

Actually I've achieved a lot in my life. I've been the best in almost everything I did. You might be 'older' than I am but you're where I used to be 4 years ago. It's not about productiveness really... after a while you get used to it all and then you want to achieve bigger and bigger things. One day when you've made enough achievements you'd realize that everything is just so pointless...

and about your last post:
I appreciate your time and effort. I don't think you're any different from the people you're insulting... You think you're so right that you've closed your ears to what everyone else is saying.
[and what's wrong with being a dishwasher? I assume you're one of those people who think power's got to do everything with happiness.]

I share similar thoughts but have some different conclusions.

Pursuing goals and chasing after achievements can help people from falling into the cracks of social deviancy. Sure it might be shallow, but it is better than committing a crime, accidental pregnancy or being a victim in a situation you shouldn't have been in.

Most of the planet is poor. Most of the planet is poorly educated. Individually we all make the decision, "How will my life be remembered?" Someone might be the "dishwasher" that made money for their children to chase silly dreams. Others might be the family businessman that helped his child be the only one to experience owning an exotic car. Or the adult who doesn't want his children to experience not growing up with a single parent.

The point I am building up is that people have tough experiences and they don't want certain people wife/child/friend to go through those things. And lots of people have made mistakes and suffered hardship. The whole life is pointless attitude doesn't improve the situation. Life is full of tragedy and few people know how to work their way out of it. At best a person's know how to prevent a specific tragedy from happening to someone else.

[MystyrMystyry]

Everyone knows that its pointless. But that alone doesn't give you a reason to stop enjoying what you enjoy.

Other things that everyone knows is that eventually they're going to die. You know you're going to, I know I'm going to - preferably a long way away and when I'm not around - but the fact is that all you touch, see, think, feel, etc etc is all it will ever be.

The actual sense perception of humans is quite narrow - only as far as our finger tips, and as bright as we are to the light, and as loud as we can hear. And thus we extend our range by sharing stories with others who have seen and done more and different. Not the stories of those who have done less and nothing - where's the interest value in that?

For every druggy and alcoholic, there are a hundred people brighter, louder and more fascinating - real people who inspire you to generate and use your own energy. If you want miserable people they're in every bar in the world, some hide away in their own nests, some get deservedly arrested - but there isn't a fun one amongst them, not really. There may be famous ones like Lindsay and the now defunct Amy, but they're not fun intriguing people - just noongs in the spotlight, whom if they used their noggins could have by now achieved twenty great movies and twenty great albums instead of no great movies and only one great album.

The effects of these drugs are, to put it bluntly, the same as braining yourself. It'd be far cheaper and more interesting to approach Mike Tyson and start calling him names. You'd achieve the same result but at least you could say you'd been biffed by the best - and with the scars to prove it!

But most choose to biff themselves the slow, boring and expensive way. Why? Is life honestly that bad? No - in a word - they're dickheads.

There I've said it. Lindsay Lohan is a dickhead. Amy Winehouse was a dickhead.

Are you surprised at this news?

[OrphanPip]

I'm afraid I resent the attitudes presented here treating people who have drug addictions like they are living less valuable lives. They have families, values, emotions, and experiences just like any other human being.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

I'm afraid I resent the attitudes presented here treating people who have drug addictions like they are living less valuable lives. They have families, values, emotions, and experiences just like any other human being.

I agree. Drug addicts may not be deserving of the Nobel Prize, but they're still people. I know plenty of fun, fascinating people who do recreational drugs and drink, also, so it kind of ruins your broad generalization, MM. I know of plenty of people who don't do drugs who are complete losers and/or dickheads.

[MystyrMystyry]

You posted before you read my post, didn't you Pip?

Actually it was the lowest of the low I was referring to MM. I've met them, and wasted my time with them.

I've also shared doobies and Scotches with lawyers, politicians, medical students, and many others, and had a ball at the time. Recreational use isn't the same as junkie use.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

You posted before you read my post, didn't you Pip?

Actually it was the lowest of the low I was referring to MM. I've met them, and wasted my time with them.

I've also shared doobies and Scotches with lawyers, politicians, medical students, and many others, and had a ball at the time. Recreational use isn't the same as junkie use.

Gotchya. Still, even the lowest of the low shouldn't be discarded completely.

[Vonny]

It seems drug addicts must always become the focus, and everyone has to get accountable in terms of empathy and support for them. There's no drug addicts or alcoholics here, so why talk about them? I find them boring.

It almost seems like someone with a rather debilitating disability, and someone whose had cancer several times, who is happy and not an addict - is less valuable than a drug addict.

I too struggle. In the last few months I've had terrible insomnia, and so I have moments of discouragement. But I never really have depression. I see a kind of magic in life.

Last February I caught a bug and was very sick for a while. I don't remember when before I was so sick and miserable. But in the middle of all of that, I remember having the realization of magic in life. I remember thinking how strange it was that I could have the two experiences going on at the same time - feeling miserable and feeling a sense of magic. But that's often how it is for me... And then when I got well again, it was so wonderful just not to be sick.

I think one of the problems with people today, is that they're spoiled - they have so much that they can't appreciate anything.

It is the simplest things in life that make for happiness, and those things people today are entirely incapable of appreciating or even noticing.

[MarkBastable]

My premise must bother you, that you have to try to distort it instead of engaging it. If you have an original idea that you want to express - then do so. Instead of trying to misrepresent what I said by adding your own colorful language to it

So, if I ridicule it, I must agree with it? How would I act then, if I wanted to ridicule it because I disagreed with it?

And I don't think I misrepresented it at all. I simply rendered this...

What you and others like you fail to realize is that just because you have the ability to see the bright side and are able to ignore the stark realities of suffering in this world, everyone is not built that way. And reading "tops tips" will not cause someone with deep conscience to be able to ignore the darkness in this world. .

...like this...

There you are with your conscience, and if people happier than you had such a conscience they'd be less able to ignore the darkness, and so they'd be less happy. Those happy, conscienceless nitwits.

...which I think is a pretty fair - if slightly sarky - rendition of your proposition, to be honest.

If you and others in this thread want to mistake being a realist with being some kind of sulking curmudgeon, then feel free.

Gee, thanks. But I'm not suggesting that realists are sulking curmudgeons. I'm suggesting that you're not a realist.

[sh_einstein]

It seems drug addicts must always become the focus, and everyone has to get accountable in terms of empathy and support for them. There's no drug addicts or alcoholics here, so why talk about them? I find them boring.

It almost seems like someone with a rather debilitating disability, and someone whose had cancer several times, who is happy and not an addict - is less valuable than a drug addict.

I too struggle. In the last few months I've had terrible insomnia, and so I have moments of discouragement. But I never really have depression. I see a kind of magic in life.

Last February I caught a bug and was very sick for a while. I don't remember when before I was so sick and miserable. But in the middle of all of that, I remember having the realization of magic in life. I remember thinking how strange it was that I could have the two experiences going on at the same time - feeling miserable and feeling a sense of magic. But that's often how it is for me... And then when I got well again, it was so wonderful just not to be sick.

I think one of the problems with people today, is that they're spoiled - they have so much that they can't appreciate anything.

It is the simplest things in life that make for happiness, and those things people today are entirely incapable of appreciating or even noticing.

hmm... some good points there.

[MarkBastable]

I think one of the problems with people today, is that they're spoiled - they have so much that they can't appreciate anything.[

It is the simplest things in life that make for happiness, and those things people today are entirely incapable of appreciating or even noticing.

As soon as I see the words 'people today', I have to ask for some kind of evidence that whatever it is that 'people today' are doing or feeling* was done or felt differently by 'people yesterday'.

Also, how much longer ago are we talking? Literally yesterday? When the speaker was a child? Before the Industrial Revolution? And how do we measure the difference between 'people today' and other people? And even if we can come up with both a timeframe of comparison and a scale by which to measure change, how do we assess whether the difference is a Good Thing or a Bad Thing?

Actually, we don't have to the last bit, because the premise of any sentence that involves 'people today' is that whatever they are doing is a Worse Thing than what people yesterday did.

But if we look at the proposition again...

I think one of the problems with people today, is that they're spoiled - they have so much that they can't appreciate anything.[

It is the simplest things in life that make for happiness, and those things people today are entirely incapable of appreciating or even noticing

...it can't be entirely true, because if it were true of the poster, she wouldn't know it was. So she, at least, is not spoiled, and is not entirely incapable of appreciating and noticing that the simplest things make for happiness.

And if it's not true of Vonny, maybe it's not true of a lot of other 'people today' either.

So the last question we need to ask is, who do we mean by 'people today'.




* ...or, as is usually the case when that phrase is used, not doing or not feeling

[Vonny]

As soon as I see the words 'people today', I have to ask for some kind of evidence that whatever it is that 'people today' are doing or feeling* was done or felt differently by 'people yesterday'.

Also, how much longer ago are we talking? Literally yesterday? Last year? When the speaker was a child? Before the Industrial Revolution? And how do we measure the difference between 'people today' and other people? And even if we can come up with both a timeframe of comparison and a scale by which to measure change, how do we assess whether the difference is a Good Thing or a Bad Thing?

Actually, we don't have to the last bit, because the premise of any sentence that involves 'people today' is that whatever they are doing is a Worse Thing than what people yesterday did.

But if we look at the proposition again...



...it can't be entirely true, because if it were true of the poster, she wouldn't know it was. So she, at least, is not spoiled, and is not entirely incapable of appreciating and noticing that the simplest things make for happiness.

And if it's not true of Vonny, maybe it's not true of a lot of other 'people today' either.

So the last question we need to ask is, who do we mean by 'people today'.




* ...or, as is usually the case when that phrase is used, not doing or not feeling

Okay, maybe I said this wrong. The problem with some people now, and it was no doubt the problem with some people long ago, is that they are spoiled and incapable of appreciating the things that make for happiness. Obviously, there are many people today on this forum who don't have this problem of being unable to appreciate.

What I'm actually thinking about when I compare people today with past people, is the people of about the 1860s - 1880s, the American pioneers. I've studied them a lot, and so they are, unconsciously, sort of the basis of a lot of my thinking. There's a series of children's books that I read a lot, and you English have never heard of them, I'm sure, but if you had ever read the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, you'd understand what I'm talking about. And I learned from studying her, that her life was much more spartan and difficult, and included even more loss, than the children's books depicted, yet she was very happy.

But believe me, there's tons of evidence that the pioneers were happy with much less than people have today. (Generally speaking, although there are characters in Laura's books who were spoiled and unappreciative, so those have always been around.)

[MarkBastable]

What I'm actually thinking about when I compare people today with past people, is the people of about the 1860s - 1880s, the American pioneers. I've studied them a lot, and so they are, unconsciously, sort of the basis of a lot of my thinking. There's a series of children's books that I read a lot, and you English have never heard of them, I'm sure, but if you had ever read the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, you'd understand what I'm talking about. And I learned from studying her, that her life was much more spartan and difficult, and included even more loss, than the children's books depicted, yet she was very happy.

But believe me, there's tons of evidence that the pioneers were happy with much less than people have today. (Generally speaking, although there are characters in Laura's books who were spoiled and unappreciative, so those have always been around.)

As you say, there are spoiled and unappreciative people in the fiction - and the little girl whose parents run the store represents that (at least she does in the TV version).

So all this tells us is that however much or little stimulus there is - in terms of possessions, environment and so on - the available range of human response, from happiness to misery, is pretty constant. So the 'people today' thing doesn't really apply. It's nothing to do with 'today'.