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  1. #1
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Untitled

    At the heart of Depression
    lies the petrol filled soda bottle
    cloaked in majestic paper brown
    inhaled at the bus stop
    when the markets close down.
    And while clean living folk
    wash away their working week filth
    with beer and steak,
    Depression convulses on the bench,
    her brain too fried to stay awake.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  2. #2
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Interesting take on the misery Delta - it has a good contrast of the extremes: breezy feeling of moving forward in the working week filth and the lonely existence on the bench

    Bravo!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    At the heart of Depression
    lies the petrol filled soda bottle
    cloaked in majestic paper brown
    inhaled at the bus stop
    when the markets close down.
    And while clean living folk
    wash away their working week filth
    with beer and steak,
    Depression convulses on the bench,
    her brain too fried to stay awake.
    I like this poem and this is the kind I always find moving me. Most poets while painting the dreamy part of life forget the hard realities facing them. They will poster one dimension ignoring some other important dimensions and bitter realties. Man becomes romantic, passionate at times and at the other moment he is so aggrieved and both pains and pleasures balance out him. However the ruinous part of his life remains inertly un-manifest in most poems. Whether in our every day walk of life dealing with people or facing manmade or nature-caused calamitous moments we live with grieves, plenty of them of course.

    This poem has deeply touched me since I am exactly in that situation the way you have so marvelously portrayed in your poem.

  4. #4
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    Bleak and sparse. I love it. Might you substitute 'depression' for a person's name? Would give it more immediacy and focus, specially since you use 'her' in the last line

  5. #5
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I think her namelessness is appropriate as Depression engulfs her and becomes her whole.

    Thanks to you both. Osho, I'm glad it touched you.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  6. #6
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    Love this poem very much, it's so well written and original. But I too think that achieve personification of Depression would require another poem.
    Here, adding a name would increase its poignancy, the rest of the poem expressing exactly that: this person embodies misery and depression. You speak about a particular person, don't you.
    Kudos for your amazing, effective succinctness.

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