On the Edge

[Hawkman]

Memory, that ebb-tide of the present,
laps gently at the shoreline,
its waves calmed by entropy.

Strange, no matter how bad the weather
of the past, its storms and gales
reduced to just a breath of recollection,
barely move the weathervanes of mood.

Step into the water of that shallow sea
and paddle, you may float a while
if you choose, never out of your depth –

until you drown.

Where are the life-guards when you need them;
the fluttering red beach flags
that say it isn’t safe to forsake land?

Just an empty stretch of sand
between a finite future and the endless past,
and you, alone, poised on Ockham’s razorblade.

[paperleaves]

I love the dramatic break between the third and short fourth stanza--it is incredibly effective in portraying the hopelessness in paddling, even in a shallow sea. Love it! Thanks for sharing,

in loving kindness,
paper

[everyadventure]

You surprised me, and I'm not easily surprised!

[Hawkman]

Thanks paper, glad you enjoyed it.

ea: surprised? Regardless of the difficulty, how so; good or bad?

Thank you both for reading

Live ad be well - H

[Delta40]

Such hopelessness Hawk. It reminds me that the tiniest thing can topple us.

[everyadventure]

Surprised by the storyline, so to speak. I felt I knew the direction this poem was going, essentially how it would end... and then I drowned! It was skillful; you made the reader feel safe and then stunned me with the sudden danger-- which is what the poem is all about.

Well done, in other words!

[PrinceMyshkin]

One of the marvels of this (as you've shown before) is how deftly you employ a metaphor or conceit. It remiinds of the saying that one uses every part of a hog but its whistle.

[Hawkman]

Hi Delta: Strange, I wasn't consciously trying to convey hopelessness, merely caution over the danger of dwelling in/on the past. The second part of your comment is spot on.

ea: Cheers! Delighted it worked for you.

PM: Thanks very much I'll have to work out how to incorporate it next time - lol.

Live and be well - H