A question on respecting one another

[Cunninglinguist]

This question popped up in a recent thread and although it was considered irrelevant to the thread and ultimately removed, I believe it’s a rather important question that’s not asked enough:

In disagreement, we can be civilized rather than savage, can't we?

Perhaps this question can be reformulated as: why are people so disposed to insult each other?

I believe it comes down to what we're committed to. If we're committed to our ego and our pride, we become inclined to humiliate and disrespect one another. If we're committed to finding the truth, then being refuted, disproven, and even disrespected won't bother us as much. I believe that when we’re committed to the latter, we leave ourselves in dialogue rather than in monologue; we lead ourselves to understanding rather than to hatred; to integration rather than annihilation.

Unfortunately, it seems that many people are committed in large part to their ego, and to some extent I don't believe that they can be blamed. It almost seems like a prerequisite for success here in America.

Any thoughts?

[G L Wilson]

This question popped up in a recent thread and although it was considered irrelevant to the thread and ultimately removed, I believe it’s a rather important question that’s not asked enough:



Perhaps this question can be reformulated as: why are people so disposed to insult each other?

I believe it comes down to what we're committed to. If we're committed to our ego and our pride, we become inclined to humiliate and disrespect one another. If we're committed to finding the truth, then being refuted, disproven, and even disrespected won't bother us as much. I believe that when we’re committed to the latter, we leave ourselves in dialogue rather than in monologue; we lead ourselves to understanding rather than to hatred; to integration rather than annihilation.

Unfortunately, it seems that many people are committed in large part to their ego, and to some extent I don't believe that they can be blamed. It almost seems like a prerequisite for success here in America.

Any thoughts?

I think that you are absolutely right. But sometimes in the search for truth one must cross boundaries, i.e., you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

[YesNo]

Perhaps this question can be reformulated as: why are people so disposed to insult each other?

...

Any thoughts?

There is little anyone can do about other people, so pragmatically I think the question can be better formulated as: why are people so disposed to feel insulted?

If we don't feel insulted we will not be making insults in return. The solution to the problem is now in our own hands. It doesn't matter how insulting someone might be to us nor how often.

Besides, why should anyone feel insulted by what someone else posts on a forum? Who really cares? Just ignore it. And if we can't ignore it, that is a sign that there is an ego involved that needs to be disciplined. I can't think of any better discipline than to listen to someone say something one doesn't agree with without anger.

[Varenne Rodin]

I think Americans are generally overly sensitive. Maturity tends to lead a person to feel less insulted, even when being insulted. I've been told that in Britain, everyone "roasts" everyone else all the time. Ricky Gervais is tame there, for example. People need to avoid investing emotional stock in debate, especially with strangers. The only people who are capable of offending me are those I deeply love.

[Cunninglinguist]

I think that you are absolutely right. But sometimes in the search for truth one must cross boundaries, i.e., you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

The Theory of Positive Disintegration (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Disintegration), which I (mostly) subscribe to, says that tension and anxiety are necessary for personality development. But like most things in life, there’s probably a golden mean that should be aimed for. Too much anxiety is destructive.

There is little anyone can do about other people, so pragmatically I think the question can be better formulated as: why are people so disposed to feel insulted?

If we don't feel insulted we will not be making insults in return. The solution to the problem is now in our own hands. It doesn't matter how insulting someone might be to us nor how often.

I’m a bit ambivalent here. On the one hand, we’re (pre)disposed to caring about others’ perceptions of us, even if they are complete strangers. After all, we’re all human, tied to each other by common sympathies. I don’t want to just hop on the bandwagon here, that when it comes to others’ perception of oneself, complete indifference is maturity, and psychological repression is the only practical solution to emotional trepidation. I’m not sure how healthy being false with ourselves is, nor how happy it ultimately makes us.

On the other hand, trying to manage others’ behavior, opinions, and such isn’t usually the best policy, and denial of the aforesaid natural propensities usually prevails. But while this asceticism is certainly an option, I’m not persuaded it’s the best one. Certainly it gets the job done, but I think it’s acceptable to feel offended or insulted. Such feelings are ultimately how we form any judgment of each other in the first place, we can only fall into friendship when we appreciate the feelings of others, and usually when we bottle ours up they end up sticking their ugly heads out elsewhere in our lives. Of course, to some extent we do need to regulate our emotions – but how and to what extent is open to debate.

In short, I don’t think the solution is to stop feeling insulted, or in other words to stop the inward response, but to control the outward response--that is at least my conception of emotional maturity. To sum up then, I don’t think we should stop feeling offense, but should ask ourselves what (other than the inward response) instigates or permits that outward response, which brings us around to that former question: why are people disposed to insult each other?

I think Americans are generally overly sensitive. Maturity tends to lead a person to feel less insulted, even when being insulted. I've been told that in Britain, everyone "roasts" everyone else all the time. Ricky Gervais is tame there, for example. People need to avoid investing emotional stock in debate, especially with strangers. The only people who are capable of offending me are those I deeply love.

I had a teacher who said the same thing about Britain, but instead believed the British under-sensitive. I have never visited, so I can’t really form much of an opinion.

[G L Wilson]

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a lament: live for today.

[Red-Headed]

I've been told that in Britain, everyone "roasts" everyone else all the time.

Ah! So that's why the French call us La Roast Beefs!

Ricky Gervais is tame there, for example.

If you think Gervais isn't tame for god's sake don't watch any Chubby Brown!

[Delta40]

There is little anyone can do about other people, so pragmatically I think the question can be better formulated as: why are people so disposed to feel insulted?

If we don't feel insulted we will not be making insults in return. The solution to the problem is now in our own hands. It doesn't matter how insulting someone might be to us nor how often.

Besides, why should anyone feel insulted by what someone else posts on a forum? Who really cares? Just ignore it. And if we can't ignore it, that is a sign that there is an ego involved that needs to be disciplined. I can't think of any better discipline than to listen to someone say something one doesn't agree with without anger.

Here Here or is it Hear Hear?

[Red-Headed]

I had a teacher who said the same thing about Britain, but instead believed the British under-sensitive. I have never visited, so I can’t really form much of an opinion.

Oh how we love to be racially & culturally stereotyped.

[Red-Headed]

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a lament: live for today.

Carpe diem. (Carp of the day)

[Delta40]

I'm English Australian and even I want to tell the poms to go back home. They make awful tourists. All they do is complain about the weather and the food and the pubs and the etc etc....

[Red-Headed]

I'm English Australian and even I want to tell the poms to go back home. They make awful tourists. All they do is complain about the weather and the food and the pubs and the etc etc....

Cor blimey gavnor, you make me want to throw me jellied eels at yer! Is your bowler 'at too tight me old china?

Would you Adam 'n' Eve it ... up the elephant & raaand the carstle ...

[Delta40]

Cockney slang, fair dinkum?

[G L Wilson]

Everybody knows that we Aussies can stand the Poms to some extent, it's the Yanks that we can't stand to any extent.

[Red-Headed]

Cockney slang, fair dinkum?

The term Cockney supposedly derives from '****'s egg', & as cocks don't lay eggs, but hens do, the word was originally an old English expression of anything strange or odd. Apparently country dwellers applied this to city folk, especially Londoners & the term stuck.

Don't get me started on Black Country slang ... Ar bay arf-soaked or yampi in the yed, so doe git maye started on yower accent!

I day say it wore bostin, in fact, I day spake.

Sod me! It seems I can't write the word C o c k on this board, as it breaks the Amerika-Politzei Forum software. Land of the free my arse!