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Thread: My Review Of My Current Landlord

  1. #1
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    My Review Of My Current Landlord

    From A Disgruntled Customer

    (see all my reviews)



    Firstly let me say that the reason I give it only one star
    is because there's nowhere to give it zero star or minus five stars
    which it deserves

    It is not an improvement of my previous model and I advise
    everyone who is looking for a new model to look elsewhere

    This model is faulty

    Yes you heard me right - faulty!

    When I first turned it on it asked me to respect it, but I'm afraid
    this cannot be accomplished as life is not a one way street

    If there was a better model available for the low rent I would
    purchase that instead - but as it stands the 'low rent landlord'
    is all that is available in this range so I must endure its
    eccentric idiosyncrasies - this is not the words I would like to use

    Not the words at all but I think the words will be deleted

    Ironically it actually thinks that it is good landlord

    Hah!

    Other aspects of the design I dislike are there is no way to install
    better edition of the software bundle - this would bring it up from
    beta version 0.90 to functioning 21st Century landlord 2.011

    As it is I cannot recommend this product

    There is a no latch for battery, which is also not in its favour
    because it is very slooooooooow landlord and I think if it could be
    recharged or in some manner replaced this would be of benefit

    Big mistake manufacturer!

    I will not be buying this product again

    It occurs to me that if there was a slot for new memory card it would
    perhaps be improvement - no slot! I've looked all over but nowhere!

    What were they thinking not to include this important feature!

    I think I will be sending it back to factory

    Furthermore when you turn it on it gives out loud banging sounds and sometimes loud machine noisess like someone is hammering and sawing
    next to a microphone plugged into a very big amplifier - annoying!

    Usually that is the first thing I hear when I wake up because that is
    what is waking me up! The manual does not mention it will move in!

    When I send it back I will not be asking for replacement

    Very disappointing product! Do not purchase!

    I will add that it cannot drive. The front fence has been smashed
    six times in just the past month - still the opening is not wide enough
    because it did it twice today - once on its way in and again on its
    way out - and then it grumbles loudly to itself and blames the fence!

    But it was not the fence's fault!

    I will not be buying another product from this manufacturer again

    I will be also telling all my friends to avoid this product - it is very cheap
    product. Very nasty!

  2. #2
    an organized mess
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    Ha! Perhaps you just need to look a little harder for that slot... then again, you might not like what you find. Giggle.

  3. #3
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    No slot. I will be sending back to manufacturer. Do not purchase!

  4. #4
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    You've literally objectified him. Half a smirk for you- terribly interesting idea but a bit weak in execution.





    J

  5. #5
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    One can't help wondering if he's trying to get you to move out!

  6. #6
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    When I opened box I think my unit could not have been original, but phoney counterfeit and then I think if it is it should be banned and banished

    I think not only has this been counterfeited personality but that this is used landlord

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by MystyrMystyry
    ... this is used landlord.
    Cracked up here.

    Un-washed tableware, underpants, landlord... clearly if it's been previously used it must be sent back.






    J

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack of Hearts View Post
    You've literally objectified him. Half a smirk for you- terribly interesting idea but a bit weak in execution.





    J
    It's funny to read this now. This poem stuck with this reader for a long time, so clearly this feedback from last year is off the mark. This one is funny, MM. Hopefully you'll understand and forgive such a terrible initial assessment (we grow in writing, we grow in crit/feedback too).






    J

  9. #9
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    Well, expert advice always includes the suggestion "Write about what stirs your passions," and we can clearly see that the landlord evokes your wrath to a passionate degree!

    What's really, really clever about this one is that it's not a (ahem) "gripe" session, but a parody of a well-known form: a product review. If you get time, do an Internet search of the humorous piece, "Coyote v. Acme" by Ian Frazier. It's a classic, and this one is in the same vein.

  10. #10
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Thanks JackoH

  11. #11
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Thanks Aunty

    Yes, it is a parody of a style not intended to be poetic. But in a strange way, like JackoH mentioned, those frustrated/angry/disappointed 'semi-broken English' reviews stick, and there's a ton of them spread across the net

    I followed your link. Quite funny stuff - yet to explore the author's other pieces

  12. #12
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    There is always a reviewer like me who too late read your review and purchased said landlord still full of bugs for which subsequent service packs were never sufficient to justify the cost.

    Very funny bit.

  13. #13
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Yep, you gotta watch those Friday lemons.

    This one's so crazy it abuses and accuses because it can't find its drill, therefore I must've stolen it. Then once it realises it's been in the car all the while at first it can't work out how I put it there, and refuses to apologise, drives off looking at me suspiciously - all the way to the corner. Goes around the block and then back up the driveway, Jumps out of the car and asks if I've seen its drill.

    I mean a drill - someone that bent should need to have a license to own one, let alone operate one, a license that wouldn't be issued because it should be in a nursing home, not driving around the block driving everyone else around the block

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