This is a short, short piece I wrote simply as a test for written action and how tension could be added or improved by writing and working on such a piece.
Without further ado, here is "Cars, Suits, and Guns"!
A man dressed entirely in black, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, sprints down a corridor, then opens a door marked “Exit” to an enclosed alleyway, and proceeds to take a left into the alleyway.
A few moments later, a man also dressed in black, is jogging to the door, breathing heavy. He opens the door, and also turns left after stepping past the doorway.
He starts running faster down the alleyway, running much better, but looking very strained and tired from running. After running for a short length, he reaches the sidewalk.
As he takes his first step out into the rest of the world, the passenger door of the car to his right pops open. He can see through the back windshield that the other man wearing all black has removed his mask and is ready to drive, having leaned over to open the passenger side door.
The second man dressed in black quickly removes his mask, looks back, then begins to run towards the open car door. As he jumps into the empty seat and closes the door, the rear passenger side door of the car parked behind their car opens up.
A man, dressed in a blue suit with a black tie and wearing well polished black shoes, steps out, staring intently at the car in front of him.
Back in the first car, the man driving mentions after his partner closes the door, “You run too slow.”
The man in the passenger side remarks, an airy, “No, you just run too fast.”
The driver opens his mouth to make a reply when suddenly his partner's jawbone explodes with a dark red and the surviving facial tissue instantly drains of all color. The man in the passenger side leans forward and extends his hands to his broken chin, only to suddenly jolt three times, then his head twitches in an odd manner.
It is at this time that the driver of the first car feels pain in his shoulder. His initial reaction is to panic. He opens his door, but stays seated. He sees his partner in his peripheral vision still breathing heavily.
The man in the blue suit with the black tie hears the driver side door open, and he stands up to look over to see who exits. He leaves his hand at his sides as he begins to walk towards the front of the car to get a better view.
The driver dressed in all black made sure to draw his pistol before exiting the vehicle. He is mostly hiding behind the door with just his head and pistol exposed on the left side of the door, waiting for the man in the blue suit to get into sight.
The man in the blue suit grips his pistol tightly, but does not raise it. He makes it near the right headlight of the car and pauses.
That is when the driver in black pulls the trigger of his semi-automatic pistol, aimed at the center of the man's black tie.
The first round enters on the left side of the tie, tearing the silk.
The second round enters a little more to the right of the first shot, and buries itself in the man's heart after glancing off a rib.
After seeing the exposed pistol and a portion of a head, the man in the blue suit had begun to raise his pistol. He got it halfway up to parallel with the ground when the first round hit him. This is when he had panicked, and fired as he continued to raise his pistol.
By the time a third shot enters the blue suited man's throat, he is dead, and has also fired three shots total but without aiming.
The driver in the black stands up, knowing he has killed the blue suited man.
What he does not know until he turns around is that the driver of the second car that the blue suited man had previously exited from had followed suit by also exiting the car. He did not close his door as to not alert the driver of the first car dressed entirely in black.
What the driver of the second car, in a dark gray suit, black tie, and also wearing exceptionally well polished black shoes, did not know was that his partner was going to shoot wildly past the driver of the first car dressed in black.
The man in black holsters his pistol, takes a step forward after turning around, and sees a man on the ground bleeding profusely and the cars driver door ajar.
He walks to the man on the ground, and sees a wound on the man's chest.. He is unconscious, but alive.
The driver in black removes his pistol, aims it at the man's forehead, and shoots. The round enters the dying man's forehead and kills him.
He then turns around, walks back to his car, and sits down on the drivers seat. His head turns to his right, and he sighs slightly as he looks at his partners broken body. In death, the man sitting in the passenger seat looks fake.
The man dressed entirely in black places the key into the ignition and turns it. Revving to life, the car shakes as it begins to warm up, but the man does not give it enough time to smooth out.
He pulls the lever into gear and pushes down the accelerator.
His front right wheel bumps, then quickly after the back wheels followed suit.
The man drives off quickly as sirens begin to sound louder and louder. It is not long before he no longer hears them.
Soon after blue and red lights reflect on two pairs of well-polished shoes, and the sirens are shut off.
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Originally Posted by Ace
