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Thread: From Rags To Riches

  1. #1
    Brittain
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    Talking From Rags To Riches

    As simple as a game of tic tac toe
    I went from a queen to a pesent on the floor
    From A thrown Of jewls
    To rags and scraps
    I ment nothimg and there was no turning back..
    yes sir i will
    just one second please
    I found my self alone on my knees
    How could i have done this...
    What did i do so wrong.....
    That i was de-throwned and my worth was now gone
    from lashing to slap i tasted his pain
    I embraced his anger and worshiped his name....
    Untill the day I broke the glass and realized that i could go back
    to my rightfull place among the best...
    With my thrown and my crown ive forgotten the rest..
    and now to a new game we've moved on
    only in my game.....your the pawn

  2. #2
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taste_Of_Ink View Post
    As simple as a game of tic tac toe
    I went from a queen to a pesent on the floor
    From A thrown Of jewls
    To rags and scraps
    I ment nothimg and there was no turning back..
    yes sir i will
    just one second please
    I found my self alone on my knees
    How could i have done this...
    What did i do so wrong.....
    That i was de-throwned and my worth was now gone
    from lashing to slap i tasted his pain
    I embraced his anger and worshiped his name....
    Untill the day I broke the glass and realized that i could go back
    to my rightfull place among the best...
    With my thrown and my crown ive forgotten the rest..
    and now to a new game we've moved on
    only in my game.....your the pawn
    Fabulous poem!

    This is reflective of what is going on around the world and I find it full of what I look for in a good poem.

    Today's rich are yesterday' poor ascending higher from rags to riches

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

  3. #3
    Registered User
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    I'm not sure if this was about domestic abuse, rather than a change in status. It seemed to make more sense until the final few lines which made it difficult to follow.

    Some of the lines are very weak, such as

    How could i have done this...
    What did i do so wrong.....
    That i was de-throwned and my worth was now gone


    when compared with

    from lashing to slap i tasted his pain
    I embraced his anger and worshiped his name....


    which give a better insight to the narrator's situation.

    A few careless typos, for example

    'thrown' is the past tense of throw - I assume you mean 'throne'?

    but a fair effort nonetheless

    H

  4. #4
    an organized mess
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,013
    Yes, needs a little tidying up with spelling and typos...
    But the last line is one of empowerment, of finally taking control of the situation. Thanks for sharing.

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