Two seperate parts to my first, very, rough draft of my book. The first part I haven't touched since I was in 10th grade, so it will be worse for the wear. And, no, this isn't all I have written, just parts I feel like sharing at the moment. Be brutal and leave some helpful tips. Thanks,




A quick look around told her everything she needed to know. The door across the hall was locked, all the windows surrounding were locked and barred with wrought iron, and her husband was positioned protectively between her and the door. The look on his face tore her nerves apart. It was covered with ill-masked fear and caked in sweat, but she couldn’t blame him for his anxiety ridden demeanor. After all, this was a horrid predicament they had gotten themselves into.

A small grunt turned her attention to the bundle in her arms. She brushed back a bit of the shawl that had fallen over the child’s forehead, revealing a tuft of shadow blue hair. The baby was asleep; his face appeared to be pained, wrinkles forming on his brow.

“A nightmare, little one?” she whispered, “It’s unfair for you to be troubled by demons of the mind; you’ve done nothing to provoke them.” All at once, the wrinkles of the babe’s face vanished, leaving no indication of their existence behind.

Smiling, she brought the child closer to her body in a feeble attempt to protect him. She took comfort in the thought that, even if they were to die, that he might live; that he would know the world and its wonders, rather than its flaws and corruption.

The shriek of metal pealed through the house, startling the couple.

“Claire, you know what is going to happen here; we won’t survive,” he said, not bothering to face her, the torment on his face would only make things worse.

“But he will. We have to hope that he will,” she said, as much to herself as to him.

“I need you to go underground, take him with you. I… I will hold them off as long as I can,” he said, still unwilling to face her.

“I won’t leave you here, Alex. I’ve told you this. We are together until the end.”

Alex spun around and clasped her shoulders. “I know what you said, but you must go, there is no time to argue. The child will fall to them otherwise. You must understand that.”

She gazed into his eyes, comprehending, but unable to speak. She knew that she would have to leave him eventually; she knew that since the day it all began, but somehow she believed the cup would move from her hands and she would be able to fight beside him, to the very end.

In the next moment the door behind Alex flew off of its hinges and into the couple, only quick reflexes foiled the dark trio that entered from the darkness thereafter.






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"If I had the strength, I would take down this entire army for her." I said, staring at the oncoming mob of darkness.

"Does she really mean this much to you?" Rolgaf questioned, gesturing towards the mass of shadow soldiers.

"...More than you know or could possibly understand."

"Then go. We will have your back," he said, clapping a hand on my shoulder.

I turned my head towards him, sadness in my eyes. "And if I fail?"

"Well, at least you died for someone you love; for something you believed was worth fighting for," he said softly.

A single tear formed and fell down my cheek. I grabbed my sword and then turned back towards what could be my end. Then, with no warning, I ran at them, ready for anything.