Agnosticism

[PeterL]

"Ishtar had been injured, and that shouldn't have been possible for a Goddess, or would it?" - It's correct as it is.
hardly - mixing up auxilliary verbs in this way is sloppy and considered bad practice

I won't bother with the rest, but you exhibit a lack of understanding of the difference between "wouldn't" and "shouldn't". My use of oth was correct and appropriate, and the way that I used them gave emphasis to the difference between the two words. It may be a slightly non-standard use, but it is certainly not an error, and it most certainly was not sloppy, because I intended to use the words that way. By the way, "should" and "would" are not auxiliary verbs. "Should" usually is a conditional, and "would" is a form of "will" that is used in several different ways.

would
1   /wʊd; unstressed wəd/ Show Spelled[wood; unstressed wuhd] Show IPA
–verb
1. a pt. and pp. of will1.
2. (used to express the future in past sentences): He said he would go tomorrow.
3. (used in place of will, to make a statement or form a question less direct or blunt): That would scarcely be fair. Would you be so kind?
4. (used to express repeated or habitual action in the past): We would visit Grandma every morning up at the farm.
5. (used to express an intention or inclination): Nutritionists would have us all eat whole grains.
6. (used to express a wish): Would he were here!
7. (used to express an uncertainty): It would appear that he is guilty.
8. (used in conditional sentences to express choice or possibility): They would come if they had the fare. If the temperature were higher, the water would evaporate.

should
   /ʃʊd/ Show Spelled[shood] Show IPA
–auxiliary verb
1. pt. of shall.
2. (used to express condition): Were he to arrive, I should be pleased.
3. must; ought (used to indicate duty, propriety, or expediency): You should not do that.
4. would (used to make a statement less direct or blunt): I should think you would apologize.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/should

[hillwalker]

I bow to your superior knowledge - but as a sentence it still stinks.

H

[AuntShecky]

I never said that Ishtar wasn't a goddess. But it definitely is a horrible movie.

If you're wondering what "Show Don't Tell" means, here are some suggestions:

Show don't tell
http://www.online-literature.com/for...ad.php?t=29321

And here are some general tips that may be--maybe!- could be useful:

http://www.online-literature.com/for...t=Cheap+advice

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Those ARE grammatical errors! You can't "nod understanding." "Nod" is a verb. "Understanding" is a noun. "Understandingly" is an adverb which is what goes with a verb. You can't "nod hate" or "nod anger" at someone can you? But you CAN "nod lovingly" or "nod angrily", get it?

Furthermore, a wall is WOODEN. Wooden is an adjective. Wood is a CONCRETE NOUN just like wall is a CONCRETE NOUN. What you're saying is = to saying "the wall was banana" or "the wall was bicycle."

And lastly, you're mixing two different conditional verbs in "shouldn't" and "would". Here is another example: "You can't take me home should you?" or "I will go to the moon can't I?"

Trust me all of those are errors. Don't take my word for it, ask any english teacher, professor, or editor and they'll tell you the same thing.

Every writer needs to have his work proofread. The fact that you'd rather shoot people down than find out if you can fix the little errors in your story shows a lack of commitment to your work.

He is correct on all counts, Peter.

[PeterL]

He is correct on all counts, Peter.

You are wrong. I think that you should buy a good grammar book and read it. You will that those items do not violate any rules. Even a lousy grammar book won't have rules that were violated by those items.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Fine. If all that is correct, and cyberbob is wrong, explain why. He ha shown why those grammar mistakes are actually grammar mistakes. You've only said, "No, they're not." Not a compelling argument.

[Grit]

I couldn't get halfway through the first line of this story. All I have to say is that you need a stronger hook. Very simply, your story is not gripping enough.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

You know, I commented on people being a bit harsh in this thread, but after reading much of the story, I have to agree with them. It's just flat. I'm wondering, is English not your primary language? There seem to be a lot of grammar/spelling mistakes that would indicate this (literally one every third sentence or so). It makes reading this story very distracting, and never let me get immersed into it.