The beach emptied of windbreaks,
towels, buckets and spades
and other families
gone with the end of the day.
This bit of coast
belonged to you and me, sis
and mum and dad
holding hands in the sea.
I could smell candy floss
in the air
mixed with discarded
salty chips.
The swing boats on the beach,
had finished swinging today.
A name in the sand
was smoothly wiped.
With buried feet
we laid on a dune,
swept in an orange light
and watched,
never knowing
that this,
was the last
perfect day.
Last edited by Jerrybaldy; 12-20-2010 at 07:56 PM.
For those who believe,
no explanation is necessary.
For those who do not,
none will suffice.
Oh Jerry this is heart-wrenching. 1975 was the last good year of my childhood. I love the sound and flavours of this piece
belonged to you and me, sis
and mum and dad
holding hands in the sea.
You capture the whole notion of family security in these few lines
I could smell candy floss
in the air
mixed with discarded
salty chips.
great tangle of sweet and savoury.
Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb
Certainly one to twang the heart strings.... those never-forgotten summer holidays of childhood. And the concluding line like some unseen shark beneath the waves....
Da-da-da-da! Da-da-da-da! (the theme from 'Jaws' in case you missed the reference - which, coincidentally was released in '75).
H
Thanks Delta, glad it resonated with you.
Hill, oddly enough, my father's replacement took me to see that film the following year.
For those who believe,
no explanation is necessary.
For those who do not,
none will suffice.
Now that's spooky.
ouch. As soon as we 10 pound poms got to Australia, my father bought a holden kingswood and took us to see it at the drive in on Saturday night and took us to the beach on Sunday...
Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb
Yikes. I'm out of here
For those who believe,
no explanation is necessary.
For those who do not,
none will suffice.
Perhaps we need 'Jaws Anonymous?'
Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb
A little tear for little Jerry...
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
That ending is a killer!
But, please: "we laid on a dune" should be we lay on a dune
That was very good.
The ending was the standout for me and it capped off a very well writen poem.
Well done.
never knowing
that this,
was the last
perfect day.
we never know when its the last perfect day do we even when we think we do
such truth sighhhhhh well done
dark
well done
Oh, how terribly sad, Jerry. My ♥ goes out to you.
xo
You certainly got me with that one too
The self-contained nature setting and family unit forming two loose but powerful structures, the strength of them both contrasting with each other and themselves for what night and tomorrow shall bring, like everything that seems so real will soon be washed away
And, yeah...
so vivid, plucking lightly at anybody's heart. love
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
