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Thread: Whirl of Life

  1. #1
    Registered User kittypaws's Avatar
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    Whirl of Life

    Have you watched the ceiling fan
    Spin?
    Ever focused enough to watch
    Just one blade spin
    around and around?

    I have lain on the floor
    And watched and tried,
    But I can not get past
    Four to five times
    Before they melt
    Into each other.

    This effect made me think
    Of my cat who slumbers away
    Most of her days.
    Perhaps it is just
    The passing of time
    Being comfortable
    And warm.

    When I walk my dog
    Under the evening stars
    It is much like the same
    He is comfortable in his space
    And I am relaxed in mine.

    Perhaps it all boils down
    To the spinning
    Of the fan…
    Much like our lives
    Not enough focus
    Everything moving fast
    The spinning of a ceiling fan.



    Kittypaws
    Last edited by kittypaws; 11-09-2010 at 10:43 AM.
    Everyone finds himself in the world where he belongs. The essential thing is to have a fixed point from which to check its reality now and then.
    Ancient Egyptian Inner Temples

  2. #2
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    nice observational poem Kitty. One can hear the blades of the fan as it whirrs round.

    You should use past instead of pass in v2
    Much like the same will read better as much the same, especially as you repeat the line in the next verse too.

    Cats have a wonderful life of leisure!
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  3. #3
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Love it kittypaws.

    Yes I have watched the fan blades whirl.

    Ah, to focus,
    to focus, to focus, to focus...
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  4. #4
    Registered User kittypaws's Avatar
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    Thank you Delta for the heads up on tense...I do struggle with it so!

    tailor S....perhaps we could start a focus group together! lol!

    I appreciate both of your comments! This was a kinda throw it out there piece.

    kittypaws
    Everyone finds himself in the world where he belongs. The essential thing is to have a fixed point from which to check its reality now and then.
    Ancient Egyptian Inner Temples

  5. #5
    looks like you were observating your room
    but that is the soul of posetry observation , nice work !!!

  6. #6
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    I enjoyed the sense of trying to get to grips with time but feeling it always slip through our fingers - or blur out of focus whenever we try to examine it too closely.

    One common grammatical slip which Americans seem more prone to making for some reason:

    'I have laid on the floor' - should be 'I have lain on the floor'

    'laid' or 'have laid' is the past tense of 'lay' (which is what hens do to eggs) - the past tense of 'lie' which I assume is what you were doing is 'lay' or 'have lain' (confusing I know).

    H

  7. #7
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    A great analogy kitty and I too would have got the lay/lain thing wrong. I constantly do. Is one of the gems of this place that there are people such as Hill to help.
    I will think of you next time I see a ceiling fan
    Jerry

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  8. #8
    Registered User kittypaws's Avatar
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    Jerry you made me laugh out loud! So much fun! Hmmmm...me as a ceiling fan!

    Thanks for the read and comment....I agree...the gems here are very bright!

    kittypaws
    Everyone finds himself in the world where he belongs. The essential thing is to have a fixed point from which to check its reality now and then.
    Ancient Egyptian Inner Temples

  9. #9
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    May I suggest you use 'Thank you' rather than 'Thanks'

    taking the mick Delta :-)
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

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