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Thread: Riddle

  1. #1
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Riddle



    There was a song
    which had neither melody
    nor rhyme nor reason
    and yet
    it was meant to be sung.

    There was a man
    who was not particularly handsome
    nor witty
    nor generous of heart
    and yet
    he felt he should be loved.
    Last edited by PrinceMyshkin; 10-11-2010 at 11:11 AM. Reason: See post by Lumiere

  2. #2
    Registered User zoolane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post


    There was a song
    which had neither melody
    nor rhyme nor reason
    and yet
    it was meant to be sung.

    There was a man
    who was not particularly handsome
    nor witty
    nor generous of heart
    and yet
    he felt he should be loved.

    There are riddles
    that puzzle us
    although
    we know they cannot
    and never will be solved.
    Hmm what I do think ? Verse 1 maybe nurse rhyme. Verse 2 maybe sugar daddy. Verse 3now got me struck lol.
    English my native language and have characterizes of dyslexia.

    Copyright (C) 2011, Zoolane

    I have pass by English Exam.

  3. #3
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    Well, Prince, That first verse convinces me you have been listening to "Peter Grimes" by Benjamin Britten, or maybe something by Sir Michael Tippet they tell me it's art, though.

    Best. H

  4. #4
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Interesting riddle/puzzle.

    For all its worth, my 2:

    Your poem begged for symmetry, if that makes sense.

    V1 L5 perhaps consider dropping the "it"

    V2 L6 perhaps consider dropping the first "he"

    Verse 3 seems the weakest. In the first 2 verses with the changes above I was able to read with a lyrical lilt; where verse 3 became a commentary - which is fine if you wanted a commentary.

    As always with admiration,
    I, a weak poet at best,
    (one of my last pieces
    was composed of email spam after all),

    tailor STATELY
    Last edited by tailor STATELY; 10-09-2010 at 04:51 PM.
    Enchant Me

    Your very being a desire for answer
    Lament not your unassailable mystery
    Enchant me with your dreams

    5-14-2005

  5. #5
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Any man may be a song when loved

    or there's many a good tune played on an old fiddle....
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

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    Verse 3 does round off the set but I also wonder whether we need to be told there are riddles when v1 and v2 do such a perfect job of showing us so.

    H

  7. #7
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Thank you, Zoolane, Hawkman, Tailor, Delta and

    Quote Originally Posted by hillwalker View Post
    Verse 3 does round off the set but I also wonder whether we need to be told there are riddles when v1 and v2 do such a perfect job of showing us so.

    H
    Verse 3 seems to have given several of you a bit of trouble and I can see that it is overly explicit but in terms of the argument I meant to make 1 & 2 are only there to pave the way for 3. I & 2, in my view, are statements of what might wish to be but cannot...

  8. #8
    Registered User Lumiere's Avatar
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    The first stanza struck me; I stopped; read it again.

    After I read the second stanza, my breath caught around itself and I had a sudden impulse to sob. (Consider this to your credit.)

    I feel very strongly that the third stanza is superfluous;
    to be frank, Prince, I wish it was not there!

    I accept your explanation; I have no choice but to accept it; the poet is always right,
    (or is it the reader that is always right?)

    But....
    forgive me if I pretend - no, insist as a sort of fervent delusion - that the third stanza doesn't exist.

    Of course, if you - as the creator - feel the third stanza is right, then by all means! It's right! Simple.

    In the Spirit of Friendliness and Exuberance for Poetry,
    I love the first two.

    In the Spirit of Friendliness and Exuberance for Poetry,
    I don't like the third.

    - L
    Last edited by Lumiere; 10-11-2010 at 06:57 AM.

  9. #9
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lumiere View Post
    The first stanza struck me; I stopped; read it again.

    After I read the second stanza, my breath caught around itself and I had a sudden impulse to sob. (Consider this to your credit.)

    I feel very strongly that the third stanza is superfluous;
    to be frank, Prince, I wish it was not there!

    I accept your explanation; I have no choice but to accept it; the poet is always right,
    (or is it the reader that is always right?)

    But....
    forgive me if I pretend - no, insist as a sort of fervent delusion - that the third stanza doesn't exist.

    Of course, if you - as the creator - feel the third stanza is right, then by all means! It's right! Simple.

    In the Spirit of Friendliness and Exuberance for Poetry,
    I love the first two.

    In the Spirit of Friendliness and Exuberance for Poetry,
    I don't like the third.

    - L
    Okay, buddy, how could I resist this. I've editted the original.

  10. #10
    Jai Keshava NikolaiI's Avatar
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    thanks for sharing your beautiful poetry Prince.

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    Evocative. The power of making one feel! I loved it. It moved me.

  12. #12
    Live. Be. Sing. symphony's Avatar
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    I read the original poem quoted in one of the posts and I'm glad you got rid of the third stanza.
    The first stanza reminded me of, well, me.
    The second, and now last, stanza friggin' pointed at me! (Not a man now am I, but you get the idea.)

    I felt the line breaks in that last stanza could look more comfortable to me this way:

    There was a song
    which had neither melody
    nor rhyme nor reason
    and yet
    it was meant to be sung.

    There was a man
    who was not particularly handsome
    nor witty nor generous of heart
    and yet
    he felt he should be loved.
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  13. #13
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    Prince, I liked your poem, riddle or no riddle though every human being has the desire to be loved, handsome or not.
    Geetashree Chatterjee

  14. #14
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Thanks Nikolai, Sarah, and Symphony:

    Symphony: I read the original poem quoted in one of the posts and I'm glad you got rid of the third stanza.
    The first stanza reminded me of, well, me.
    The second, and now last, stanza friggin' pointed at me! (Not a man now am I, but you get the idea.)
    May I congratulate myself on having provoked the first off-colour word from you - or is that thanks to your Canadian surroundings?

    Quote Originally Posted by GEETASHREE View Post
    Prince, I liked your poem, riddle or no riddle though every human being has the desire to be loved, handsome or not.
    "The desire to be loved" which, to me, is so much secondary to the desire, the will and the ability to love!

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