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Thread: Skia and other poems.

  1. #1
    Registered User zoolane's Avatar
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    Wink Skia and other poems.

    Skia.

    Skia is her name and sky the limit.
    She loves her Stars Wars films.
    She has secret crush on Darth Vader.
    Her rap and slang poems are great.
    She live in our capital city.


    Sun and Moon.

    Earth is tugs that sun.
    Sun is try to up in the sky.
    But Shepard's delight is said ''no''.
    ''It time for you to going bed''.

    Sun has gentle faded away.
    Moon with it silver shine.
    Races fast as it can into night sky.
    The moon called her children.
    Her children spead out over the night sky.


    Under Died Love

    As my under died love.
    Burn in my very soul.
    Wish you will stay forever.
    My heart beat with very stroke made.

    As you spread out your love.
    For all to see in very shape and form.
    Wish that they to could same as us.

    Blended in are unique way.
    Maybe we will be together, when I older and senile.
    Last edited by zoolane; 10-03-2010 at 09:56 AM.
    English my native language and have characterizes of dyslexia.

    Copyright (C) 2011, Zoolane

    I have pass by English Exam.

  2. #2
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    I think your Nature poems are the best of the bunch - you've got such an original way of seeing things (a touch of angli, but with both feet planted firmly on the ground in Humberside rather than in the mystical clouds of the Orient).

    I particularly liked the imagery of the Moon and her children 'spread out over the night sky'.

    And your third one - hoping to grow old with someone. Who could ask for a better declaration of love?

    H

  3. #3
    Registered User zoolane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hillwalker View Post
    I think your Nature poems are the best of the bunch - you've got such an original way of seeing things (a touch of angli, but with both feet planted firmly on the ground in Humberside rather than in the mystical clouds of the Orient).

    I particularly liked the imagery of the Moon and her children 'spread out over the night sky'.

    And your third one - hoping to grow old with someone. Who could ask for a better declaration of love?

    H
    Thank you for comments, see I do have that soft side somewhere.

    Third poem is now I feel about writing of any kind.
    English my native language and have characterizes of dyslexia.

    Copyright (C) 2011, Zoolane

    I have pass by English Exam.

  4. #4
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I have not doubted your soft side Zoo :-)
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  5. #5
    Beyond the world aliengirl's Avatar
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    Your poems are short but one or two phrases always catch my eye. I like the imagery of moon and her children spread over the sky. Its really an original idea.

    The last poem is also good and I'm looking forward to more such poems from you.

    Best Wishes Zoo.
    I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's. ~ William Blake

    Captivity is consciousness,
    So's liberty. ~ Emily Dickinson

  6. #6
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Despite some unidiomatic phrases or grammar, I love the spontaneity of these, and their warmth.

  7. #7
    Registered User zoolane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post
    Despite some unidiomatic phrases or grammar, I love the spontaneity of these, and their warmth.
    Hi Prince,
    Thank you for comment, I have never plan or brain storm when write a poem, normal it my head, just go from here and I have just recently for short story that had do for English in college.
    English my native language and have characterizes of dyslexia.

    Copyright (C) 2011, Zoolane

    I have pass by English Exam.

  8. #8
    Registered User Skia's Avatar
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    Zoo, I want to thank you for the poem
    I love the fact you wrote about how I have a crush on Darth Vader, (I've always had a crush on the person who becomes him in eps. 1,2,3 - Hayden Christensen so much appreciated, love it

    I love all the poems The imagrey you show in your poems are unique and always a good 'un
    When you're close to tears remember,
    someday, it'll all be over...


    "Words to cut your emotions with.
    Words to make you feel worthless with
    " - Zoolane


  9. #9
    Registered User zoolane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skia View Post
    Zoo, I want to thank you for the poem
    I love the fact you wrote about how I have a crush on Darth Vader, (I've always had a crush on the person who becomes him in eps. 1,2,3 - Hayden Christensen so much appreciated, love it

    I love all the poems The imagrey you show in your poems are unique and always a good 'un
    Hi Hun,
    It was pleasure to write poem about a friend such you. I though you would like crush bit.

    I always loves reading your poems to and I wish could be more invented bit different style like you are.


    Faith

    Faith is bedded in a person.
    Faith is spiritual and knowledge.
    Faith is know that you can come through other side.
    Still be whole person at the end.

    Faith is ability and self believe in everything.
    Faith is guild you in your multi colour path of life.
    English my native language and have characterizes of dyslexia.

    Copyright (C) 2011, Zoolane

    I have pass by English Exam.

  10. #10
    Registered User Skia's Avatar
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    Everyone has a different writing style - and It's good to read fresh poetry that i'm not familiar with, such as your beautiful work!

    And Faith is beautiful. The words flow so sweetly.
    When you're close to tears remember,
    someday, it'll all be over...


    "Words to cut your emotions with.
    Words to make you feel worthless with
    " - Zoolane


  11. #11
    Registered User zoolane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skia View Post
    Everyone has a different writing style - and It's good to read fresh poetry that i'm not familiar with, such as your beautiful work!

    And Faith is beautiful. The words flow so sweetly.
    I was bit under sure of 'Faith' and plus I was positive that spell it wrong lol.
    English my native language and have characterizes of dyslexia.

    Copyright (C) 2011, Zoolane

    I have pass by English Exam.

  12. #12
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    I love how you express faith and the fact that you even wrote about it. Also love the moon poem, the imageries are unique and inspirational. Died Love is very poignant and the prospect of reuniting always hits me in my soft spot.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  13. #13
    Registered User zoolane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haunted View Post
    I love how you express faith and the fact that you even wrote about it. Also love the moon poem, the imageries are unique and inspirational. Died Love is very poignant and the prospect of reuniting always hits me in my soft spot.
    Thanks Haunted mean lots aleast not all dark poetry like week ago, I was bit bored of dark poems. I bet shut up by dark one pop in my head.

    Angel Wings.

    Angel with her delicate,translucent wings.
    Flutter over the choose one.
    Wings soft as silk, crest the breeze.
    White as the clouds in sky.

    Gentle to the touch.
    But the wings are vulnerable.
    Angel wings.
    Last edited by zoolane; 10-03-2010 at 01:56 PM.
    English my native language and have characterizes of dyslexia.

    Copyright (C) 2011, Zoolane

    I have pass by English Exam.

  14. #14
    Registered User Skia's Avatar
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    How sweet and angelic
    Angel Wings is,
    Elegance in two stanzas,
    lovely and pure.

    When you're close to tears remember,
    someday, it'll all be over...


    "Words to cut your emotions with.
    Words to make you feel worthless with
    " - Zoolane


  15. #15
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    Great line :

    Wings soft as silk, crest the breeze.

    - 'soft as silk' is such a tired-out cliche..... but you rescue it with that follow-up.

    H

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