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Thread: Mark

  1. #1
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Mark

    When he was tripping
    in his flat in Leeds
    climbing heights was his love
    scaling fast to the top
    so he could beat his chest
    and roar out his inner soul
    across the rooftops
    One day, he overshot
    and travelled the world
    lying on his back
    A flash memory of being there,
    then here till finally,
    he fell from a tree in nepal
    where the outcrop below
    battered his head
    He lay in the Himalayas
    like a broken action man
    amongst donkeys and foreign tongues
    He lived without knowledge
    of his own existence
    dark, sweet peace enveloped his mind
    while his body was entombed in
    crisp white sheets
    next to a machine
    that went 'ping!'
    tubes and drains
    stuck in his brain
    scabbing caking blood
    he looked like a puppet
    from a freak side show
    When he arrived back in his head
    the smell of disinfectant
    made him thirsty for a beer
    strange fuzzy faces stared
    back down at him
    a pair of needle worn arms
    embraced him
    she coughed in his face
    wiped snot on his cheek
    and mumbled it was great
    he made it through the trip ok
    his paralysis prevented him
    from contorting in abject horror
    when somebody told him
    she was his girlfriend
    his arms strapped firmly
    like a wrapped package
    ready to be posted
    He could only remember
    an orange shagpile
    which he so loved to pass out on
    He told a doctor
    he had a ginger birthmark
    shaped like the UK
    on the side of his thigh
    It would prove who he was
    perhaps when he closed his eyes
    after a nurse helped sedate him
    they would send him home
    from La Hacienda to Leeds
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  2. #2
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    How on earth do you do it at this time of the morning? it's another dark one, another tale of suffering, of the daft kind of things we humans can do to ourselves. I have no idea what might have inspired this, I'd love to know, but it is a great narrative.
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  3. #3
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    I took 'tripping' to mean partaking of drugs; if so it's quite a coincidence as I've just finished writing a poem about a drug trip gone wrong.....

    Anyway, your poem..... this has a very nightmarish, hallucinatory feel to it - we are never sure how much of it is real and how much is delusion. The short sentences almost suggest an addled brain, suffering such a short attention span that details can only be handled in bite-sized chunks.
    It's a very gripping read - one senses the helplessness in hospital, being mummified in those sheets.....

    I hope this is not biographical - or if so that the outcome was slightly happier than one might aniticipate.

    H

  4. #4
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    It's an amazing poem and one of its chief assets is what Hillwalker noted about the uncertainty over which details might be actual & which might be delusional. Clearly the subject can't be trusted to know.

  5. #5
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Thanks Daffy, Hill and Prince. I'm glad you got that uncertain effect.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

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