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Thread: Stop me if you've heard this before.....

  1. #1
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Stop me if you've heard this before.....

    I'd walk a million miles
    To avoid a cliche.
    I avoid them like the plague.
    So, when I think of you, why
    Does my heart race like a train?
    Why does it go pit-a-pat?
    Why do my limbs turn to water,
    And I melt in to you?
    Why are your lips like petals?
    Why is your skin like velvet,
    Your eyes like pools
    and I float on air?
    Why can't I fit in the word
    "Maelstrom?"

    Why do I run like the wind from cliches
    Yet you've turned me in to one?
    That's the Power of Lurve.

    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  2. #2
    Registered User angliholic's Avatar
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    The power of love makes one float on air!
    Thanks, Dafydd, for the beautifully haunting poem!

    Try to live in harmony with people and nature


  3. #3
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    Oh dear!

    All this naked emotion first thing in the morning... It's enough to make a cynic vomit on his cornflakes Get a grip, man! Where's that stiff upper lip? (and don't tell me it's above that loose, flabby chin)

    Actually I rather enjoyed this, you old Druid.

    Best, H

  4. #4
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Dear Hawk, I was full of stiff upper lippery on rising this morning, but the aforegoing was written yesterday eventide whilst under the affluence of incohol (he lied.) It is a declaration of undying something, but it's too early in the morning to know precisely what. However, I'm sure it's a good thing.
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  5. #5
    Death awaits...
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    Again, my good sir, you have produced a masterpiece... Mwah to you...
    Floating on air ha? Love is grand.

  6. #6
    on the run lallison's Avatar
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    normally I would just fill in this box with generic laudatory comments when I read a poem like this one, and yet, the depth of its generics borders on masterful. Allow me to try and fill in some of the places I've heard these lines before.

    Stop me if you've heard this one before.....the title of a Smiths song
    I'd walk a million miles Wang Chung-every body have fun tonight
    To avoid a cliche. just to be with you
    I avoid them like the plague. genius at work here
    So, when I think of you, why and it just keeps getting better
    Does my heart race like a train?
    Why does it go pit-a-pat?
    Why do my limbs turn to water,
    And I melt in to you?
    Why are your lips like petals?
    Why is your skin like velvet,
    Your eyes like pools
    and I float on air?
    Why can't I fit in the word
    "Maelstrom?" but the irony is, you did

    You, my friend, have managed to make a mockery of poetry in such a masterful manner that the work itself becomes poetry. Give yourself a pat on the back!

  7. #7
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Thanks, Lall. I wonder if the lady in question will have such a mercurial knowledge of music. I wish I could claim that I had done what you suggested, but it was pure chance. Either that, or I know more than I thought I did.
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  8. #8
    on the run lallison's Avatar
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    Sorry, mate, she probably won't. I try to hide my interest in poetry when courting. Better just to throw some money around and take her somewhere trendy. Of course, I always end up with women I don't like for very long. Keeps me free and happy, I guess.

    Good luck with this one

  9. #9
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Witty as hell! The only cliche I think you omitted is "Night & Day / You are the one for me," but maybe you were saving that for a sequel?

    The thing is, I hate to expose you for this, is how much bloody fun you had composing this and some of your others. Isn't poetry supposed to involve pain?

  10. #10
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Oh, it does, Prince, it does, but the drugs are kicking in now! To be fair, I had masses of fun with this one, but some of the others cost a fingernail or two!

    Lall, I'd love to be able to claim something amazing, but the reason for the poetry is because I'm flat broke. My ex spent it all. I just have to hope that the lady in question (Yes, her again) is more of a Chip-shop girl that a frequenter of Tiffany's!
    Last edited by dafydd manton; 08-29-2010 at 12:42 PM.
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

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    I enjoyed this immensely daf, but it means I now have to rip up about a dozen poems and start all over again

  12. #12
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I really enjoyed this - so cheesy and yet so true!
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  13. #13
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Cheesy R Us!
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  14. #14
    flung (but not far) hack's Avatar
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    As Groucho Marx is said to have said:
    "Sir, I resemble that remark." Good stuff
    Carry on.
    ...peace...
    "Remember, we are all in this alone." - Lilly Tomlin

  15. #15
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    I think star crossed was omitted as well...nicely done.

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