Is It Cancer?

[kittypaws]

We went back for a re-check, as suggested; to see if the lump was any larger. After a palpitation of the affected area it was confirmed. Just to make sure, I took him outside to urinate then we checked again. Yes, the lump was still there, still could be felt on his kidney. Next step and X-ray. Kitty can you, will you be willing, to go with Mark and help X-ray him. He trusts you. The three of us weaved down the halls. I had to wear a heavy leaded ‘gown’ a throat leaded choker and gloves to protect myself. Zeus he was naked. Putting a 95 pound, frightened dog on a slippery X-ray table top and getting him to lie down on his side is not an easy task. With many loving words and reassuring stokes of love it was finally accomplished. The X-ray taken, then another or his belly. I lost a ½ carat diamond earring in the process. Ask me if I care. The X-rays showed little, he was too big for their machine. An ultrasound was next. That too was exasperating…..but did show something….I would give my soul for it to have showing nothing….We go back again next Thursday at 12:00. A tranquilizer will be issued and his chest shaved, then a very extensive ultra sound done. Until then, all I can do is wait and wonder and pray that my Zeus does not have cancer. That I am not going to lose the only thing in my life that I truly love. The only thing in my life that truly and un-conditionally loves me back, every day in every way.

I hate the wait and see game that is so often made a part of reality. I have been a player in this game way too many times…..my Mom, my brother, and now my only comrade on this earth. I feel very helpless, I cannot change what might be…but I can believe it to be different. And that is what carries me on. That it is not real and will not be real and life will be good and Zeus….Zeus and I will be around for a long, long time…just as planned.

I will continue to smile, play, hand out treats and Zosodeesue until the sun sets!! He believes he is fine and therefore so do I!

Our appointment is next Thursday and I once again I have been asked and will be allowed right by his side….I would have it no other way as I know he would do the same for me.

Dogs rule!!!!

[hillwalker]

Chilling in the details, and yet heart-warming (that dog/human interconnection). Keep that positive outlook.....

[Delta40]

such pain in your tale coupled with the deep love you have for Zeus.

[kittypaws]

Thank you both....I do not know if either of you are owned by pets....but if you are, then you will understand.... is a hard time...Zeus ia a 95 pound, pure breed German Shepherd. I will attache a photo. He was abused as soooooo many and then he showed up for me and I for him.....some times life brings you support and relief in ways that you would never have imaged.

Kittypaws

[breathtest]

Oh my god this is so sad. The connection between dogs and humans can be so powerful and strong, and it is so hard to be faced with the end of such a bond. Kitty, Zeus is absolutely beautiful.

[dafydd manton]

Kitty, you have such love for Zeus, which is obviously returned. Thank you so much for giving us this insight in to your life and pain.

Thinking of you and the only thing in your life that loves you back, uncondtitionally.

[Steven Hunley]

Instead of using "not an easy task". I'd try "isn't so easy." The first sentence hook is really effective. " Ask me if I care," so precise and revealing.
try, " I'd give my soul to have it show nothing." try "last comrade on earth" instead of only, may be it sounds more final, maybe not. Try just, "That's what carries me on." It's an emotional piece, and therefore hard to judge or separate the content from the writing for me. But it does tug on the heart-strings doesn't it? Zeus, if he knows, is happy you did it. If he doesn't, read it to him!

[Captain Pike]

It can be powerfully moving, the demonstration of love, in this case, for an animal, sensitively portrayed here in this short, diary style entry. Hopefully, I will always remain open to learning something new.

Is a short story, fiction? I mean, does a short story have to be fiction? I guess I have always assumed that short stories were at least attempting to be fictional works -- if there's really any such thing. I mean is anything that we write purely fiction? I know my own stuff very often becomes somewhat autobiographical. But, this is nothing about me. Somehow, this short piece of writing, seems like nonfiction. It seems, painfully true. It seems like a true life, diary entry -- a blog entry, if you will.

The piece could continue on and become a short story on its own merit -- or perhaps, it already is. Meaning no disrespect whatsoever, to the author, Kittypaws, a person clearly possessed of a great, and it would seem unconditional love of this noble animal, Zeus, this piece might have better reception as a blog entry, or other serious piece of writing.

Indeed, many interesting and possibly controversial issues are touched on here. These days, we have amazing technologies to bring to bear against illnesses and maladies which might otherwise impinge on the normal lifetimes of our loved ones. Just because these technologies have been developed for the betterment of mankind, or more properly, humankind., it seems a natural application extension that they be used to diagnose and treat, what some of us think of as, <I>lesser</I> beings; doesn't it?

In a free market society, the supply of goods and services follows the demand of the consumers of the, goods or services, right? I mean, who am I to say anything about the use of any available technology for the use of the betterment of any living creature, so long as these services are paid for by the, "owners", or other family members of such living creature? This seems reasonable, doesn't it?

If you imagine a long line of beings, all lined up to receive, say, a CAT scan (pun intended), should that line's order be completely first-come first served? That is, do we think, as a society, that all living beings are equally deserving of what might be a limited availability of care? Almost surely not, I say.

The government seems to step in, here and there, augmenting this process of the free market society. You can't just go down town and buy a kilo of cocaine, for example -- not legally in most countries, anyway. In fact, the government has a prodigious and diverse list of application of, "augmenting", of the free market economy. Different acceptable behaviors spring into being. For example, in no way would any individual or government intervene in the slapping of a mosquito. Mouse traps of various design, are available, commonly, throughout the world -- the killing of rodents seems to be an acceptable practice, so long as none of us, higher beings", are put at risk in the process. Take for instance, the shooting of rats with a 50 caliber handgun, while a mighty fine afternoon of fun for some, the practice is prohibited in some cities. As we go up the food chain a bit, various covenants come into play. Run over somebody's cat, most of us feel is an unfortunate accident. Some of us would even seek out the owner (or quasi-relative) of the fatalized feline.

On the other hand, the hunting of turkeys with an old Chevy truck turned out to involve jail time for one individual I read about recently. So the value of life seems to have something to do with:
1) The size of the animal.
2) The rarity or popularity of the animal.
3) Is the creature someone's pet?

Before 1924, the Native Americans (THE indigenous people) fell under the purview of the Fish and Game Department, and had no right to vote in this "land of the free and home of the brave", United States! So it seems then, that we're still in the process of figuring these kinds of things out.

Sometimes it bothers me when I hear of the psychiatric, dietary, oncological, etc., treatment received by pets in this country; yet, many of us humans of various races and levels of disability, suffer the consequences of inadequate healthcare. I suppose a free market economy allows the suffering to endeavor to attain the wealth sufficient to access the level healthcare needed. But again, hasn't the government stepped in (in most affluent countries) to remediate this economy?

I have a dear pet. My wife bought a Pomeranian for $200 when I was recovering from a near fatal automobile crash. The folks at the puppy mill said for an additional $100, she would be given the pedigree papers. Well, he is obviously not (thank you God) a purebred Pomeranian. Instead he is a mix. I've always thought very well of, "mixes" (human and otherwise). He remains my companion and I will be sad if he dies before I do.

On the other hand, I think there are altogether too many dogs -- at least in my community. We are a nation gone, "pet-crazy", in my opinion. Now, as I travel the streets in my community, instead of dog droppings, I see plastic bags full dog droppings. There is no end.to the animal accoutrements you see -- carriages, jackets, sweaters and tank tops, invisible fences of obedience, not to mention the plethora of medications that have become necessary. It is as if the pharmacological marketeers ran out of stuff to sell us humans, so they shifted to a whole new market.

And so often, the noble dog, obtained with good intentions, is left out, tied to a chain, totally undignified. We do everything to prevent the natural passing of domesticated animals, yet so many lead useless lives, often growing angry and even dangerous.

I don't know why I've gone on so long here. My own mother died of ovarian cancer which was misdiagnosed. The policies of her HMO didn't provide for the rapid and efficient growth of the cancer. Well-meaning administrators are under the gun as we speak to reduce the burgeoning healthcare costs of a society with a return based research strategy. It's always easy to look back after a thing as happened, and then start asking the questions.

As always, early detection is the key.

[charlie1997]

Aww, your dog is so cute. I looked at that picture and he's a sweet heart.

[Delta40]

what a beautiful picture of him Kitty. I have a dog and two cats and I can't imagine life without them. especially Bach, who has been such a loyal dog to our family.

[kittypaws]

Steven ~ thank you for your suggestions and I am sure it was a hard to piece to critique as you did not know the exact origin of it.

It's an emotional piece, and therefore hard to judge or separate the content from the writing for me. But it does tug on the heart-strings doesn't it?

I did not write this as an exercise in short stories, I wrote it cuz it is true. I find sometimes the best writes come from how you feel and what you are experiencing.

But I always luv it when you comment on my writes!

Kittypaws

[kittypaws]

Captain Pike ~ I am not sure where to begin……

No, a short story does not have to be fiction…my story of Zeus is real life time.

I am flattered you think this could be a short story….but not. He will fair well from the ultrasound and live a long, happy, loved life.

I enjoyed your rambling as that told me you opened up….all good things. You should do it more often and it is always welcomed.

And I agree ~ most “mutts” mixed breeds are usually the best…..but my Zeus, Ahhhh ~ he is everything to me.

Thank you very much for sharing.

Kittypaws

[kittypaws]

Thank you Charlie and Delta....he is very handsome, but I had nothing to do with that! lol!

But I did save his life....rescued him from death.

Thank you for reading and sharing...

Kittypaws