Hello
As per Manta's message, I would be greatful if you could delete this poem.
Many thanks
Aaron
Hello
As per Manta's message, I would be greatful if you could delete this poem.
Many thanks
Aaron
Last edited by Asphara; 07-30-2010 at 10:46 AM.
You have a very different style of writing and I liked it to some extent. It's so modern.
These things are not suitable for poetry. Had I been in your case, I would have kept it simple.Something is happening to me, oh god, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I specially liked the years part. On the whole, it was a good one.
I liked the word 'Aiteology', and the title "Aiteology of a Lady Bug".
After that I was lost.
Excellent !
tailor
who am I but a stitch in time
what if I were to bare my soul
would you see me origami
7-8-2015
This is a very potent piece of writing - the sounds you create from your choice of words, in particular their repetition, is astounding.
BUT it is difficult to grap what the underlying theme is.... perhaps that was your intention.
I had an inkling that the 1st poem might be something to do with a 'beauty spot' - although the final verse seems to suggest something more like corruption.
The 2nd is very disturbing - possibly madness or metamorphosis.
The 3rd might refer to the 'lady bug' character in the arcade game - complete with sound effects
As for the final poem,I give up.
Thought-provoking all the same, and original if nothing else.