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Thread: Oh Father, Oh Father

  1. #1
    The Skinny Lad adityasam's Avatar
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    Smile Oh Father, Oh Father



    Oh Father, Oh Father
    You took me into your hands when i was born
    You played ball with me in the backyard lawn
    You sang to me, to make me sleep
    You gave me everything and i did not weep
    Oh Father, Oh Father
    But when i was 15, you were strict
    And i wanted to break you like a brick
    But only when i was one did i realize
    You were like that for me to be nice
    Oh Father, Oh Father
    When you were old, i did frown
    But when you died, i did drown
    In sadness and grief, And i was blown
    Into your memories with me, Now all alone, All alone
    Oh Father, Oh Father
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  2. #2
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    A lovely poem - very touching..... if this is written from your personal experience I am sure your father would have been proud of you

  3. #3
    The Skinny Lad adityasam's Avatar
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    Thumbs down No No!

    My Father is healthy and only 51. Not personal, how can it be when i am just 16. The lines played in my mind when i was sleeping.

  4. #4
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    Transferred from previous post.

    Hi and thanks for posting this poem. Is this your original work? if so It belongs in the personal poetry thread. You'll get more viewings and responses there. This is good.

    One thing though, lose the emoticon. Let the work speak for itself. The reader doesn't need you to tell him how to feel when he reads it

    Emoticons are fine in casual chat and descussions about things. Anyway, this one is in the wrong place... its not at the end of the poem or even at the beginning.

    Generally I'm not a fan of putting images up with poems. It puts an idea in the head of the viewer and detracts from the images painted by the poem. Of course, this is just my opinion. Other people may think differently.

    Again this is a good poem and thanks for sharing. H PS. You should capitalise I.
    Last edited by Hawkman; 07-21-2010 at 12:32 PM.

  5. #5
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I liked it because there was head shaking all the way through with the Father, oh Father. The expression contains many things, despair, pleading, anger, grief etc
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  6. #6
    Registered User angliholic's Avatar
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    Lucky is the word

    That's popping up

    When reading this loving piece!

    Not every man can be a father,

    You know!

  7. #7
    The Skinny Lad adityasam's Avatar
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    Smile Thanks!

    Delta40, That's exactly what i wanted to convey through that refrain. Thanks for appreciating my work.

    Angliholic, You are right, every man cannot be a father or at least a great father. Thank you for reading my work.


  8. #8
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    A lovely poem, indeed! A parent: a whole comedy of errors, wrapped in love...

    Thanks for sharing this - - and welcome here!

    Bar

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