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Thread: A Short Collection of Trashy Poems

  1. #166
    Registered User DieterM's Avatar
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    I was very touched by that poem. As my dog is currently very sick, it made me relive all those horrible moments I've passed these last days.

    Just one thing, in the last stanza, "caringly he took / her tiny emaciated body", shouldn't that rather read "caringly he takes..."? I ask because the rest of the poem is written in present tense... Best to you from another animal lover.
    "Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
    New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)

  2. #167
    Registered User NikolaiI's Avatar
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    It's a lovely poem but a sad thought. It's nice to think of the happiness you must have had with her.

  3. #168
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Dieter I'm sorry to hear your dog isn't well and I just hope this poem is more of a catharsis than an unpleasant experience for you.

    As for switching to past tense in the last stanza, that is intentional. I usually use present tense for narratives but the last stanza is more than that, it's an emotional event that cannot be undone or unfelt. It just feels right that it's in past tense as something that already happened in the past and the action is irreversible.

    Thanks Nik. She was aloof but in her final days we became very close and I will forever cherish those moments.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  4. #169
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Last edited by Haunted; 12-17-2010 at 11:22 AM.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  5. #170
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    car talk


    if you think I’m sweet
    so is antifreeze

    if you take me out for a drive
    consider yourself warned:
    I have no brakes

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  6. #171
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haunted View Post

    car talk


    if you think I’m sweet
    so is antifreeze

    if you take me out for a drive
    consider yourself warned:
    I have no brakes
    Fine, so long as he or she doesn't reach for the clutch!

    Enigmatic but amusing poem.

  7. #172
    Death awaits...
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    Who needs breaks?
    This one is not like your others. Very ineteresting my dear.
    xo

  8. #173
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    thanks Mary, I thought it would be nice to take a vacation from the death and destruction themes for something entertaining. But I promise, macabre will be back....

    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post
    Fine, so long as he or she doesn't reach for the clutch!

    Enigmatic but amusing poem.
    Thanks for your comment Prince. No worries, she only drives automatic. And aren't women as a whole an enigmatic species?

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  9. #174
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I like the comparison to anti-freeze. I thought the other line said 'Consider yourself warmed' so it was nice to be thrown off balance.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  10. #175
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Thanks Delta, pleased that it threw you off balance with my attempt at a tough talking love poem.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  11. #176
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    You once commented, in your self depreciating way, that all your poems are similar, so it is good, yet again, to see you prove yourself wrong A car/woman analogy is an original thought and you made your woman dangerous to know, so therefore instantly attractive to all us silly men, who love the very idea of no brakes.
    cheers
    JerryB

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  12. #177
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Dangerous is good in the haunted world. So glad you like it Jerry.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  13. #178
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Google Earth




    between the Atlantic
    and the Pacific

    +

    between Blue Ridge Mountains
    and the Rockies

    +

    between thick groves
    and desert dunes

    +

    between Interstate 540
    and County 83

    +

    between a curvy driveway
    and an odd shaped pond

    +

    between open french doors
    and a puckered headboard

    +

    between your arms
    and your voice

    +

    between a gasp
    and a long sigh

    +

    there lies the heartland
    where I long to be

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  14. #179
    Death awaits...
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    One can dream I suppose.

  15. #180
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    Your last post before this poem seeked danger, this one seeks comfort love and warmth. It is where all thrill seekers seceretly long to be and you expressed it beautifully. I hope you find it in the most unexpected of places.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

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