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Thread: A Short Collection of Trashy Poems

  1. #1
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    A Short Collection of Trashy Poems


    *comments welcome!*


    . . . . . . . . .


    Rather than littering Litnet’s poetryland with multiple threads I’ posting all my poetically unworthy poems here and add as more comes along.

    The significance of these pieces is that they are written after I joined Litnet, to which I'm thankful for being largely responsible for reviving my old hobby.

    Most of these are archived from various poetry contests here. The contests offer me a lead to home in on, it has become regular writing assignments and ones that I have come to look forward to. Please feel free to comment and criticique.
    Last edited by Haunted; 08-17-2010 at 11:01 AM.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  2. #2
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    INTRODUCTION



    if you must know...
    I am your best nightmare
    Last edited by Haunted; 06-25-2010 at 09:01 AM.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  3. #3
    Jethro BienvenuJDC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haunted View Post

    Introduction



    if you must know...
    I am your best nightmare
    Tis true
    Tis pity...Tis pity, Tis true
    Les Miserables,
    Volume 1, Fifth Book, Chapter 3
    Remember this, my friends: there are no such things as bad plants or bad men. There are only bad cultivators.

  4. #4
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC View Post
    Tis true
    Tis pity...Tis pity, Tis true
    er........ahhh

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  5. #5
    Death awaits...
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    Nice darl... But you aren't my best nightmare. But my favourite dream.

  6. #6
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maryd. View Post
    Nice darl... But you aren't my best nightmare. But my favourite dream.
    aw thanks, I'll make sure it'll stay that way !

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  7. #7
    Our wee Olympic swimmer Janine's Avatar
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    Good for you starting this thread, Haunted. It sounds interesting. However, I love your poems. I would never call them trashy.
    "It's so mysterious, the land of tears."

    Chapter 7, The Little Prince ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

  8. #8
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    thanks Janine. I'm glad you enjoyed them. I'll be posting another one in a little bit...

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  9. #9
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    D22 westbound



    the bus runs
    every three years

    no one takes it unless
    they’re out of options

    the bus stop is just
    a pole and a metal sign
    and a bullet hole
    right through the center
    where it hurts most

    away from the bus stop
    a black squirrel crossed
    the single lane highway
    unscathed

    a top down convertible
    obliviously chasing summer

    a dirt truck slows down
    and waved

    then it starts to rain cold rain
    drops roll off my duffel bag
    packed in a heated moment
    but I’m drenched

    my t-shirt wet and clingy
    my tits showing through
    I’m ****ing freezing

    I’m rethinking
    my options

    I’m looking
    for my cell



    hello..........

    you still want to um...
    .................rent a movie?

    Last edited by Haunted; 06-20-2010 at 09:50 AM. Reason: title change

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  10. #10
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    D22 West: I was kept intrigued by the narrative and the final lines of dialogue are very poignant.

  11. #11
    Employee of the Month blank|verse's Avatar
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    There are some great moments in this, Haunted; I enjoyed:
    a top down convertible
    obliviously chasing summer
    and
    and a bullet hole
    right through the center
    where it hurts most
    and the wet t-shirt part was brilliantly honest and funny. The conclusion is also nicely achieved.

    On the whole, I feel your writing is too prosey and the lines don't really have any rhythm or feel to them; but they are peppered with some wonderful phrases and observations.

  12. #12
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    Loved this - echoes of last moth's 'Bus Stop' poem contest. You obviously couldn't enter that since you had set the topic and were obliged to judge the entries. But it's interesting to see there was an inspired idea or two behind the choice you set.

    I agree with BV on his choice of favourite images. Slices of time deftly drawn - and I for one feel the scatter-shot style, prosaic suits the scenario.

    H

  13. #13
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    I love this poem, its kind of "dry" tone (in spite of the rain! ), its effective direct language devoid of "beauty" - I think I felt its depth... thanks for it - Bar

  14. #14
    Death awaits...
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    I think there's more to this than meets the eye... Hey Haunt... Baby?

  15. #15
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Thanks Prince, BV, H, Bar and Mary, I enjoy reading all of your comments!



    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post
    D22 West: I was kept intrigued by the narrative and the final lines of dialogue are very poignant.
    Prince, it means a lot coming from you, thanks!



    Quote Originally Posted by blank|verse View Post
    There are some great moments in this, Haunted; I enjoyed:

    and
    and the wet t-shirt part was brilliantly honest and funny. The conclusion is also nicely achieved.

    On the whole, I feel your writing is too prosey and the lines don't really have any rhythm or feel to them; but they are peppered with some wonderful phrases and observations.
    BV, thanks, you're right on. These are voice poems, I keep the language simple and direct. I do pay attention to the rhythm so I'll revisit this and see what's lacking.



    Quote Originally Posted by hillwalker View Post
    Loved this - echoes of last moth's 'Bus Stop' poem contest. You obviously couldn't enter that since you had set the topic and were obliged to judge the entries. But it's interesting to see there was an inspired idea or two behind the choice you set.

    I agree with BV on his choice of favourite images. Slices of time deftly drawn - and I for one feel the scatter-shot style, prosaic suits the scenario.

    H
    yes H, it dawned on me that I could still write it as a writing exercise. Thanks for your kind words!



    Quote Originally Posted by Bar22do View Post
    I love this poem, its kind of "dry" tone (in spite of the rain! ), its effective direct language devoid of "beauty" - I think I felt its depth... thanks for it - Bar
    Bar, thanks so much! Dry tone in spite of the rain... good one!
    I don't use much poetics, embellishments get in the way of what I want to say. I keep my pieces very bare bone.



    Quote Originally Posted by Maryd. View Post
    I think there's more to this than meets the eye... Hey Haunt... Baby?
    you must be reading my mind, my twin pea!
    Last edited by Haunted; 06-25-2010 at 09:05 AM.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

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