high rise
I know it
you are stuck again
in an elevator
going sideways
until you unstuck
I’ll stretch out
on the ledge
the way you stretch
the truth
high rise
I know it
you are stuck again
in an elevator
going sideways
until you unstuck
I’ll stretch out
on the ledge
the way you stretch
the truth
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
Sorry Haunted, I missed this when you posted it. As always, a succinct and and minimalist piece, expressing much in few words. You might want to address S2 L1 though, as there seems to be a typo: "you're" rather than "you," perhaps.
Always good to see an offering from you.
Live and be well - H
Yes, I second Hackman, good piece again! I didn't see where H. had noticed the mistake—I took "stuck" for a past participle at first and found it perfectly normal to create the verb "unstuck". Then, after some mulling (2 seconds at least), I realized the present tense would have to be "stick", which I found odd, too. And after looking up this word that I thought I knew perfectly well, I found out "stuck" (as used in "to get/to be stuck") was an adjective. So of course, in straight grammar terms, "unstuck" as a verb is not possible. Yet, as everybody knows, "straight" is not what characterizes me best (lol), so I have to confess I rather like the oddness of "unstuck". Or should you use "unstick"?
This is the best occasion, too, to thank you, Haunted, for having commented on my latest poem (the title of which i've even forgotten, but you do remember the "whatever day", I guess). Didn't find the time to answer and say thanks.
And at the same time, I'd like to wish you and Hawkman and Auntie and all my other LitNet-friends and -acquaintances wonderful holidays, a merry Xmas to those who are concerned (wouldn't want to anger my non-Christian friends) and a happy, happy New Year!
"Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)
the man in the red suit
the mall closes
and I catch up with Santa
wish for a small gift
a little happiness
he says its elusive
for people like us
the boxes always arrive
torn or crushed
he says he is Greg
we dance to silent night
eggnog on his fake beard
gets in my hair
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
Haunted! It's been more than a year... But here you make a triumphant return with this little seasonal gem. Your expression is as crisp as ever. Good to see you posting. Don't be a stranger
Nice poem about Santa. The receivable gifts are those able to be given.
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
Hawk, couldn't believe it's been that long. So good you're here with your usual insightful comments.
Y/N, thanks for the comment, and so well put. Did make me think deeper into the idea of giving.
Really appreciated both your comments.
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
That is a little gem, Haunted, short, crisp, with a slightly skewed point of view-pure Haunted!
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka
Oh yes, jeez, time's a-fleetin'… but glad I took a glimpse online only to stumble upon your gem. I second all the other opinions: pure Haunted, Haunted-style :-) xo
"Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)
Qim, thanks for the kind words, just what I needed to get started on the next one. Have a happy new year and come back soon.
Dieter, thanks and please take more glimpses in the new year, cheers! xoxo
Last edited by Haunted; 12-31-2015 at 11:04 PM.
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
re: high rise, I fell off the tracks; belated thanks.
Hawk, good catch. Counting on a comment and help from you always.
Dieter, hmmmm let’s see… unstuck is like undead, a made up word but feels right. I wouldn’t mind you getting stuck in here and offer comments : )
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
a beach in Maui
black sand happens
when ejected lava
melts like dirty hot syrup
hardens on its way down
then plunges into water
it sticks everywhere
we trace on glossy dark sweat
make full body tattoos on a whim
shower off when we want
no lifelong commitment
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
Hi Haunt. The second stanza is much stronger than the first. The description of the advent of black sand is actually irrelevant to the meat of the piece and it does not read well. I'd discard all but the first two words of it, which I'd use to open the second stanza. You'd then have a crisp coherent whole which conveys it's pithy sentiment of observational comment coupled with that touch of bitterness and regret.
A much purer distillation of Haunted verse!
Live and be well - H
Hawk, love your version! I am currently reading spacetime and quantum mechanics, my mind is on matter, that was how the first part came about. Some commitment issues but mostly carefree. Thanks for the critique as always, invaluable!
a beach in Maui
black sand sticks everywhere
we trace on glossy dark sweat
make full body tattoos on a whim
shower off when we want
no lifelong commitment
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
Haunted you are becoming Prince like in your brevity. Your posts are always a must read. That's a,lot said in five short lines. Screwdriver *
For those who believe,
no explanation is necessary.
For those who do not,
none will suffice.
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