Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

[Paulclem]

Aardvark - very strong dutch houseboat.

croissant

[Lokasenna]

Croissant:- A dry, air-filled, uninteresting and tasteless lump of greasy dough; understandably thus a national delicacy of the French, and an excellent ambassador of their culture.

Purgatory:-

[kasie]

Purgatory: - where you go when you've o/d'd on laxatives.

Dentist: -

[dafydd manton]

A sadist in a brand new BMW

Tree Surgeon

[Dodo25]

Tree Surgeon:- The one whose response to 'if a tree falls in a forest, and nobody is there to hear it, does it make a sound?' is crying.

Model:-

[Lokasenna]

Model:- In technological terms (such as cars and computers), a method of distinguishing between two items which otherwise differ only by price.

Teabag:-

[Paulclem]

Teabag - a mesh restraint for wayward leaves

cummerbund

[dafydd manton]

A German federation for portly gentlemen


Olfactory

[Dodo25]

Olfactory:- Whatever drove Jean-Baptiste Grenouille to insanity.

Jerusalem:-

[dafydd manton]

Jerusalem:- Ancient Hebrew word for "War Zone". Home of the Prince of Peace.

Ostrich

[Dodo25]

Ostrich:-
1) Largest living dinosaur.
2) Original home of the Terminator.

Complacency:-

[dafydd manton]

Complacency:- A small lake in Berlin adjoining the Glienicker See.

Clutch

[Paulclem]

Clutch - pedal operated defensive grasp

rivulet

[dafydd manton]

Rivulet. The very small metals screws that hold toy aeroplanes together.

Bier

[Dodo25]

Bier:- Is to 'soccer match' like 'popcorn' to 'movie theatre'.

Lost:-