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Thread: Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

  1. #2356
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Community: Any group of people who live in a designated area.

    Black Sheep:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  2. #2357
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Community: A word which, if I hear it one more time, I'm going to grab a hunting rifle, climb atop a water tower, and begin picking off unsuspecting K-mart shoppers. For thirty years, activists and annoying people of all varieties, having appropriated the word community and turned it into a political weapon, have been shoving it down my throat, and I've had it, I tell you, had it. A community is a neighborhood, or, possibly, the congregation of a church or synagogue. I have spoken, and thus, no more need be said. <drinks peach schnapps>

    Blunderbuss.
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  3. #2358
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Black Sheep: Sheep whose wool is already dyed.

    Blunderbuss: A primitive shotgun which could kill you just as dead as the more advanced version.

    Advanced:

  4. #2359
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Advanced: Not the same thing as wasabe. You could order a hundred cucumber maki at a hundred different sushi joints, and nobody'd ever give you a serving of advanced to dip it in. California rolls, salmon nigiri, same result. Of course, that cuts both ways. I knew some smart kids in high school, but not a one of them ever took Wasabe Placement Calculus.

    Mercurial:
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  5. #2360
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    Mercurial: A fancy way to say “fickle” which is what you should use since almost no one you are likely to be talking to knows what mercurial means.

    Fickle:

  6. #2361
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Your point about the use of mercurial is one with which I must disagree, and for two reasons. First, I've been on a campaign to stop dumbing myself down for the sake of others; it is destructive to the mind, and I'm not obligated to pretend to be uneducated just 'cause someone else ain't got two brain cells to rub together. Second, speaking at my level without dilution is a good way of filtering out the rude, crude and just plain dull. But I digress...

    Fickle: A cucumber wot's been sealed inside a jar in a brine solution.

    Kosher:
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  7. #2362
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    Kosher: In a Jewish sense, pure, fit or allowed to be eaten or used, according to the dietary or ceremonial laws. In a marketing sense, a ploy to make food sound better, figuring that people will believe the food has some magical property that makes it better.

    Edible:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  8. #2363
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Edible: Taylor Swift's panties. (NB: there are so many directions I could have gone in with this one, my mind was simply flooded with ideas and images--most of them Biblically proscribed. I chose to keep it simple.)

    Nibble:
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  9. #2364
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    Nibble: To take an experimental taste, usually right before a spitting fit

    Delectable:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  10. #2365
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    Nibble: What Hansel and Gretal did to the witch’s edible house. There are lessons here: (1) Don’t eat other people’s houses. (2) Don’t eat the house belonging to a witch. (3) Don’t build your house out of edible material unless you are trying to trap hungry children lost in the woods.


    Delectable: How a witch's candy house in the middle of the forest should taste.

    Lesson:
    Last edited by YesNo; 10-02-2015 at 09:18 PM.

  11. #2366
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Lesson: What people won't do when you try to talk sense to them, no matter how many times they've been trapped by a witch.

    Grim:
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  12. #2367
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    Grim: 1) The supernaturally powered policemen on the show-- no, wait, that's Grimm 2) Anyway one of two fairy tale collecting brothers... no, that is Grimm, as well hummmmm... 3) foreboding


    Fairy Tale:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  13. #2368
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    Fairy Tale: A story too unreal to be believed but not too unreal to be told.

    Connection:

  14. #2369
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Connection: That thing which, when it goes out and you can't get online, causes your blood to boil and smoke to come out your ears as if you'd been cursed by a witch straight out of a Grimm's fairy tale.

    Coronary:
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  15. #2370
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    Coronary: Doctor Speak for "Heart attack"

    Doctor:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

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