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Thread: Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

  1. #2896
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Cool: What a stock market crash is not, what summer in Queensland definitely is not, and what I, as you all know by now, am the apotheosis of. I was going to say quintessence or embodiment, but that word: apotheosis. I mean.

    Modesty:
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  2. #2897
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Modesty: A range of self-limitation stopping just short of saying one is an apotheosis of something or other.

    Apotheosis:

  3. #2898
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Apotheosis: To raise one's self to the level of a God while still denying that God even exists, a conundrum brilliant in its audacity

    Audacity
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  4. #2899
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Audacity: What some people demonstrate superbly when they presume to know who thinks what about God. Not wishing there to be contretemps, Pendragon, and apologies if I've misunderstood you, but what up, G?

    G, as in the assignation belched forth by the rap scene of the 90s.
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  5. #2900
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    G: Musical note, or the first chord beginning guitarists always learn

    And Cheddar, I wasn't throwing anything your way, bro, it is just the way of the world these days. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Totally unintended.

    Man:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  6. #2901
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    Man: Handbag rack for dancing women.






    Cellist

  7. #2902
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Cellist: I knew a darn pretty one once in college. Also, Yo-Yo Ma. Also a person who draws a bow across four strings.

    spikepip, your definition of man is one I intend to repeat in future at social gatherings and pretend I thought of it.

    Pendragon, no hurt feelings, I just don't care for it when people get in my face with religion or politics. And I thought the first chord guitarists learned was E. I did. E minor, even, so deep and moody and if you then just learn A Major, you can play Pink Floyd's Breathe for hours and feel pensive and atmospheric.

    Moon, as in dark side of.
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  8. #2903
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Moon, Dark Side of the: That part of one’s butt that didn’t get completely exposed when mooning someone.

    Handbag:

  9. #2904
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Handbag: Something for which innumerable bovines, alligators and who knows what other life forms have, literally, given their hides down through the ages. And well done, too, since some of those humungous designer handbags are works of art. Still more mysterious is the number and variety of objects women fit in them. I knew a gal who carried a government minister in hers.

    Toenail Clipper, as in I've got one but can scarcely reach my toes to use it anymore.
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  10. #2905
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Toenail Clipper: That item of personal grooming that now resembles a pair of cutting pliers as my toenails thicken as I age. My grandmother (true story) used a hacksaw blade on hers before she passed. She was just shy of 80...

    Cheddar: Depends on how you learn the guitar, although I do love E minor! I learned by ear and a book, never had a lesson. I play flat-top well, lead electric not so good, but I can rock a bass with anyone with whom I have ever played music! Friend of mine plays ragtime piano like Jerry Lee Lewis and my bass makes it a great duo!

    Grooming:
    Last edited by Pendragon; 02-11-2016 at 10:12 PM.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  11. #2906
    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
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    Grooming: The process by which a woman prepares a man to become her husband, often without his knowledge.

    Husbandry
    You must be the change you wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Gandhi

  12. #2907
    Registered User Tyrion Cheddar's Avatar
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    Husbandry: An art practiced by women and cattle ranchers with equal deftness, the latter with beasts of the field, the former with guileless men, who are even less aware than Bessie the prize milk cow of the myriad ways they are coaxed, goaded and manipulated by their owners.

    Esurience, as in what I feel now and every morning, to the point that if I don't get a bagel soon it's lampshade time.
    Obsessed with facial symmetry.

  13. #2908
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Esurience: Being so hungry you could eat a horse. This is one of those words you should not use unless you can pronounce it correctly and the other person expects sounds like that coming from your mouth.

    For example,
    Bernie: “Hey, honey, pop me another cold one from the fridge, will ya? I’m esurient!
    Martha: “What is it, Bernie, you sure you ain’t gonna get? Could it be that beer?”

    Horse:

  14. #2909
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Horse: Four legged animal that once was a must for anyone who needed to take a long trip, but are largely decorative in fields around here, standing proud and beautiful but almost never ridden. Also the adorable minis that the guy up the road near the airport raises. About the size of a hound dog.

    Hound:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  15. #2910
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    Hound (them)!: Job description of those who work in charity or insurance call centres.


    smoke

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