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Thread: Love Isn't

  1. #1

    Love Isn't

    Okay I want to start by saying thanks for reading. Second, this is a mature story so you have been warned. This is all my idea so don't steal it. I would like to thank different brands for the use of their names in this story. Please do give me feedback and I will definatly take them into consideration as I continue to write. More pages will be posted after a few days or when someone begs for it(:


    Could high school really get any worse? I pushed open the doors of the main corridor and walked out. The air was slightly misty and had a light chill to it. There were no other students out here but me, privilege of being a senior with an easy schedule. I looked back one last time and wiped away one tear as it was barely shedding. I finally made it all the way to my car. It just had to be parked in the space furthest from the whole school. I stood there and stared at my car. Another proof of my parents high standards. The viper still smelled like new after three months. I could see stares out of the windows as I started the engine up. I couldn't believe I had picked out this car but then again I was a different person three months ago.
    "Aubree! Get up or you'll be late for your first day, again." My mother yelled from downstairs. Ugh, I thought. I hated school, especially prep schools, and even worse,my first days at a new prep school in the middle of their semester. I slowly scooted out of my bed and walked downstairs. On the table was chocolate pancakes and blueberry muffins. My favorite breakfast and my mom knew it. She was always trying to suck up to me when she made me do things she knew I didn't want to do. "Your father and I will take you to get your house warming gift when you get home from school. I'm absolutly positive that you'll just love it." My mother always thought I loved their gifts, which was almost true except for a few mishapes. One year she got me a cat, I was allergic. Another year she got me a water bed, I almost drowned when a parrot she had got me as another gift popped it in my sleep. "Oh here is your uniform. I almost forgot! Silly me!" Then she picked up a blue plaid skirt and white button up skirt. How original of them. Of couse there were matching knee high socks. "You have to wear plain shoes with them so I bought some black Jimmy Choo's for you. They are already in your closet."
    "Thanks a lot, Mom. Now everyone will know I am a snobby ***** like them. It's a dream come true." I said while picking up my plate and dumping it into the sink. She started yelling something a me but I was already up the stairs with my clothes, slamming my bedroom door before she had a chance. Boy did I love to piss her off. She was bought the things that girls in my situation should love. I couldn’t help what I was born into though.
    I changed into another horrid uniform which was nearly identical to the other fifty I had. The joys of living with parents who moved so much. I had never meet a set of parents who moved as much as mine. This uniform was different feeling though. It almost looked good on me. I checked the tag. I had gone up to a four. All my other uniforms had been a two. I didn’t mind being bigger than before, I wished to have more curves. My shirt was no longer a small though, it had to be a medium. My bra size went up to a C and there was no way of fitting into a small, even in a dream.
    I had always thought I was pretty compared to the sluttly blondes that most guys liked.. Now I had to say I was way better than any of them. I had the whole scene girl hairstyle going for me. My hair was naturally black, I had put purple streaks in it throughout my middle layers. It was about to pass my shoulder blade but no quiet yet. I began to work on making my face with a smile. All this work with no one to impress. I thought as I finished my makeup.
    I finished getting ready then went down the stairs only to hear my mom sobbing on the phone to her shrink. She called her every single time I did something that hurt her little feelings or I rebelled. Let's just say my mother has some serious issues. According to her, I didn't love her which I did act like for fun. I picked up my Christian Dior purse and my Botkier messengar bag. All my new books were already in there. I could even hear my new LG Rogue vibrating. I picked it out of my purse and saw three text messages from my best friend in Arizona. I ignored them all and went outside. My Prius was waiting on me. I unlocked the doors and got in.
    The ride to school was smooth but so was any ride in that car. Finding a parking place close to the office was going to be a challenge. There had to be five or six thousand students at St. Marks, all of them with nice cars. My luck would be trying to park and hit one of them, being the bad parker that I am. I finally found one fairly close to the office and began walking to it. My heels hit the ground with clacks. I got a start from almost every guy I walked by. Pigs, I thought with a huge grin spread across my face. I glanced at most of them but not in the lustful way that they were. One guy though, caught my attention. He was sitting in the bed of his beat up pickup truck, a book open, and an AFI song playing out of his headphones. I stared at him for a few second not understand why he wasn’t like the other guys. Finally he looked up at me. His deep brown eyes said go away but his body, his well sculpted body said come closer. His dark brown perfectly shaped long hair blew in the wind. I walked up to him and asked, "Do you know where the office is? I left my map all the way back in my car."
    The boy pulled out his headphones and said, “I’m not going to sleep with you so go on. There are probably tons of guys willing.” His response left me standing there speechless. What was I suppose to say that. I couldn’t walk away either then or I would seem like a woss. I thought for two seconds at most.
    “Who said I wanted to sleep with you? I just want to get to the forking office but since you don’t want to help, I guess I’ll just get to my AP classes late. Can’t screw up or screw you for that matter.” I could feel my cheeks getting red as he smiled at me. His smile was just another shot of perfectness on top of all his non imperfections. How could someone have such a good body? Where were his imperfections?
    “Well since you aren’t a slut, I will take some time out of my oh so busy schedule and show you around.” He put his hand on my shoulder and we began walking forward. “I’m Caiden by the way.” Caiden, such a nice name, not seen a whole lot. He stopped the ran back for his bookbag only to come back to me in a matter of seconds.
    “I’m Aubree. I just moved here last week from Arizona.” I said, stopping myself from babbling on about myself. I never had trouble controlling my mouth around guys but for some reason he didn’t feel like a normal guy.
    “I know who you are. Everyone knows who you are. There are no secrets here. We all know where you have lived in the past three years, what schools you’ve been to, what your grades were there, and any interesting gossip. Do you really have a tattoo on your thigh?” How could someone already know that? Only a few people knew about it at my old school. “Hey if you don’t want to answer you don’t have to?” Caiden chuckled through. What the heck, why not? I pulled up my skirt just a little to show the three smalls stars and a heart. “Wow, that’s a nice one. Got anymore?”
    “Stop acting like such a man whore and you might see ones that aren’t on my thigh.” I joked as we began to walk again. Caiden loosely put his hand back on my shoulder. I moved it this time, pushing it off of my shoulder. I didn’t want people getting the wrong idea about me on the first day but I think they already do.
    “So what are your AP classes?” He asked. His voice sounded disappointed and hung low on the air. I for a second felt bad for what I had done then remembered that I wasn’t a whore that let anyone and everyone touch her.
    “All of my classes are AP. I’m in trigonometry since I failed it last year. I don’t have science or history anymore. “ I was proud of all my grades except math. I couldn’t ever make an A in any math class. It was a definite flaw in my school performance. “I can’t figure out where French 103 or World Culture II is.”
    “This is going to be a crazy year. We have the exact same schedule so you won’t be getting lost. I know this school about as good as anyone.” Caiden assured me. I could tell that knowing he could help me brought him pleasure. I guess the guy didn’t have many friends. No one had come up to him or even looked his way. “Look I want to tell you some things before someone else does. The rumors you will probably hear are going to be really bad. First, I’m gay. Second, I’m a virgin. I’m not an alcoholic and I do smoke. I am on scholarship hear and have early acceptance to Stanford. “
    My heart had sunk. That was what was different about him, he was gay. “Well I’m glad we have got all that cleared up. Anymore weird rumors about me?”
    “Hmm. Not that I can think of. That one interested me because most of the girls here are too stuck up to even go into one of those shops. Less than half of them even know what Spencer’s is.”
    Oh god. What was Spencer’s? “Where is the closest one to here?” I hoped I looked like I halfway knew what I was talking about. I hated looking stupid and full of nonsense.
    “Yeah, there is one at the mall downtown. We can go after school. I wouldn’t worry too much about homework, I’ll help you. You can just follow me or one of us could leave our cars here and just take the other one.”
    “I’ll leave my car here.”
    “Okay then. Well here we are. English room 101, Ms.Brinkly. It’s her first year and she is really easy.”

  2. #2
    Registered User
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    Apr 2010
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    6,053
    Okay.

    You write really well and I enjoyed reading this piece, considering the subject matter is something I would normally avoid.

    I'm still not sure whether or not the bulk of the story is a flashback to the 'three months ago' signposted at the end of the first paragraph. If it is perhaps you could add some..... (like a fade-out/fade-in in a movie so the reader knows the next paragraph doesn't actually follow on directly in time).

    I liked the wry, b1tchy humour you thread through the story and I think you could probably make more use of it since you seem to have a talent for this (hopefully just on paper and not in the flesh!!).

    A few typos - particularly towards the middle section. But that's not a major issue.

    The product placements were a bit annoying - probably because I wouldn't know a Jimmy Choo from a chocolate-chew. But I suppose the name will mean something to the readership you are aiming for.

    Good stuff.....
    and you might want to consider posting this (or any other stories) on the Personal Writing - Short Story forum rather than this one in order to get more exposure and hopefully more feedback.

    Good luck, H

  3. #3
    Well I'm like you, I had to look on bluefly.com to know name brands. I've been working up a way to make the transition more noticable. Thank you for thinking I write well, I've only taken freshman English. I am also not like Aubree, I consider her to be my alter ego who says what she thinks. I tried finding that other forum and had no luck but thanks.

  4. #4
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    If you look in Writing (3/4 of the way down the Forums Home Page) - then Short Story Sharing. Just click on New Thread - and off you go if you feel like sharing.

    Good luck

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